feeling betrayed?

Question

With the exception of being cheated on,, have you ever felt betrayed by your spouse? What happened? how did you get over it?
And please we have been to marriage theraphy and it helped some but my old feelings of anger and hurt are coming back. It is about his job and some trouble he got into,, I wasn't really lied too but I was mis lead.

Answer 1

Yep, I still feel betrayed, and it does hurt, and you do think upon it alot, but eventually it'll fade, with time.
I'm still bitter, hah, but with time you'll be able to cope with it..it's not easy is it??
Hopefully you'll never ever have to go through anything like this again, Goodluck with your situation!

Answer 2

Yes, I felt betrayed by my wife who didn't support me when her family has become confrontational with me. To make a long story short, her family doesn't care for me. From my perspective, it's not fair given the fact that I have a great job with a very secure high income, I don't cheat, I don't drink excessively and I don't smoke or do drugs and most importantly, I treat my wife well. Over the last year these little confrontations have gotten increasingly nasty and each time I have refused to be drawn into an exchange that they could use against me. Still my wife says nothing in my defense. But I'm getting tired of turning the other cheek.

Answer 3

Several times over the years, and I know he has felt betrayed by me also. The bottom line really is this, IMO...if you love him, and forgave him for the offense, is it really all that important now? My husband cheated on me with a close relative...and we're happier now than we've ever been, because I knew that it wasn't worth losing him. I forgave him...and moved on. The old feelings of resentment kept coming back up for quite awhile, but I had forgiven him and promised that I would not throw it in his face. You should explore these feelings your having, they might really mean something else. You might be fearing another betrayal, or having some other fear that you don't even recognize. Good luck!

Answer 4

Many people feel betrayed by their spouses....things happen but really have either of us never betrayed our spouses? We all do....we buy a pair of shoes that is more expensive than what we tell them it was, we say 1/2 truths cause we think the whole truth might hurt them...this is all betrayal....there are just different levels of doing it.
Probably your husband did something that triggered such strong emotions and i am sure counseling helped but i think what you need is a place to vent really vent out all your feelings and frustrations, get some strategy and move on. In my opinion you can do that by talking to a friend, your husband, family, writing it down or finding yourself a relationship coach.
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Answer 5

I think anyone who has ever been married has felt that way, It is very hard to let go of old hurts and sometimes counseling and therapy dont always help. I think when someone feels this way the feelings of betrayal never leave us, we forgive but we cant forget and that is why we stay hurt. The only option that you have is to decide if you want to stay in the relationship or go, you have to picture your life without that person and if you cant then you two need to sit down and discuss how you feel and if he loves you then he will do everything in his power to rebuild your trust. It will be hard and like anything else it will get worse before it gets better but the end result is that you have each other. Good Luck to you.

Answer 6

Well yes just recently. My husband went twice to a strip club (I said this was a deal breaker before we got married). He got lap dances and spent $400 which we did not have! He lied to me about it repeatedly until I shoved our bank statement in his face. I guess some people feel he cheated , others don't. He definitely lied and betrayed my trust.
I got over it by making him sleep on the futon for over a week. I am a VERY sexual person so for the five years we have been married I have never withheld sex. This was the first time. Also, I e-mailed him telling him how his actions made me feel. I didn't hug or kiss him because I couldn't. Visions of dancing, naked silicon kept popping in my head. And I bought myself a Dolce and Gabbana bag.
I feel better now. And the sex is better because he really appreciates it!

Answer 7

Yes i have felt betrayed but in many ways that i don't even know where to start. it was never about cheating, it was just a trust issue between my ex hubby and i. he is a complusive liar and it's hard to marry to someone like that. maybe that's why we are no longer together.

Answer 8

yeah a few times but really nothing major, he used to have a casino habit and that really pissed me off and i wud get so nervous about it and angry at him that he wud just spend all of his time and or money there lol,now its good he hasnt been in a long time..i almost felt like he was cheating on me with the casino..fine if ur winning lol....!i think every relationship comes with these things so i wouldnt be panicking too much just tell him ur kinds upset about it and talk it through.,..good luck :)

Answer 9

I was lied to once..... I still have a little trust issue with him. I love him very much and he is an amazing husband, but one lie can really set you back. I'm slowly getting over it, I know he fells bad for lying to me. (he did drugs with a friend while I was out of town, then tried to hide it)

Answer 10

My ex betrayed me by walking out on me without a warning. I got over it by moving on and finding a new partner (we just got married).