My husband struggles with his weight. ALOT of it has to do with his genes, but alot is also due to lifestyle. We have joind the gym and I try to keep healthy food in the house.
Bottom line, right now he does not look attractive to me and my sex drive is almost nonexisitent because of it. what else can i do without crushing his feelings>
2006-10-04 05:00:20 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"I don't want to be rude here but you need to not be so shallow. Even if he has gained some weight, he is still the same man that you fell in love with and married".
I disagree with that. I believe he is not the same person you married and I believe that his weight gain shows he has a lack of respect for himself and for you and I'm sure you didn't marry someone like that.
I think you are doing all you can. If his lifestyle is a problem maybe you could look into doing something different but other then that what else can you do? Follow him around grabbing the fatty foods out of his hands? (sarcasm)
Tell him how you feel and just keep leading by example. Hopefully he will come around.
2006-10-04 05:12:36 · answer #1 · answered by Ben R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he is already working on getting better. However if his lifestyle is not changing, then tell him how you feel but be gentle! My wife once told me 'sweet heart, I liked your chest when it was harder, its alittle too soft now'. Thats all she said and I got the point!!!. I think I know what you are trying to say, many people may have misunderstood you. Even men sometimes find their wives unattractive simply because they don't try to look good sometimes inside the house. The house is a place to relax, so kick off your shoes, throw off the wig, put on that old dress and sit on the sofa and watch a movie with popcorns and coke!
How to survive the now and still have sex:
1- encourage having sex with some clothes on ie a t-shirt on. Its sexy sometimes to have sex with some clothes left on.
2- avoid sex positions where you have to face your mate, ie u facing away from him. if you can't be comfortable with your mate when your not even having sex, its harder when you are!!!!
Good luck
2006-10-04 05:42:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joining the gym was a good first step for healthier living. But, is your future lives & relationship dependant on what happens at the gym & the results you get?
The vows were for better or worse. Some of his body shape depends on his hereditary traits he was graced with. Does he still love you and treat you right? Is he loyal and a good husband & do his share of providing for the family?
See what really matters, and maybe you can get your libido back. Good Luck
2006-10-04 05:06:50 · answer #3 · answered by Cynthia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, but in my opinion if you really loved him, his weight would not bother you. You sound pretty shallow, this is your husband! How would you feel if your husband just up and left you because you packed on some pounds? His weight probably has nothing to do with your sex drive issue.
2006-10-04 05:12:12 · answer #4 · answered by who-wants-to-know 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you married him for him so thats something you will just have to deal with be a good wife and get him motivated and sometimes the truth hurts but it is honest and thats what you need to be with him tell him honey its not healthy to be that big and it is turing me off so lets get this going start on a diet with him cook him healthy meals jog workout and see how far you get but if he is not welling to make the change after you bring it to his attention then you need to ask yourself do i want to stay in this relationship and not be happy or do I want to leave and find someone that makes me happy and tend to my needs.Because if you told him how you feel and if he does not fix things because your not happy then he really dosen't care how you feel sweetheart............
2006-10-04 05:09:01 · answer #5 · answered by nina22583 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your husband you can not tell him something like that. You should encourage him to be healthy and to exercise, not to loose weight. As far as your sex drive, make love to your husband because of who he is and what made you fall in love with him. Good luck!
2006-10-04 05:13:47 · answer #6 · answered by Kim M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to be rude here but you need to not be so shallow. Even if he has gained some weight, he is still the same man that you fell in love with and married. Would you want him to feel this way if you gained some weight? Look past his physical imperfections and see that man that you loved enough to marry.
2006-10-04 05:03:11 · answer #7 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Encourage him and compliment him when he loses even so much as a pound. His extra weight did not occur overnight and it's not going to disappear overnight. Reward him when he loses weight, buy him a new outfit, etc. He's struggling too and needs alot of support.
2006-10-04 05:05:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lady I wouldn't care if my husband was 150 or 350 I married the kind and gentle man my husband is I didn't marry his looks (although my hubby's @$$ is quite nice :)) If you married him for his looks you should have thought that over. I feel sorry for your husband to have such a SHALLOW wife!
2006-10-04 05:08:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You marry people not primarily for the way they look, but for how good their heart is...you need to get over past superficial things and see the man inside. It's not like he's not trying.
2006-10-04 05:12:09 · answer #10 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋