im going through a custody court, my ex husband is coming up with lies about children's welfare. he is not proving for our children, there are no any concerns and he is trying to brainwash the kids to hate me. my worries is the jugde will listen to his nonsense and grant him a custody? is this possible? what can i do to avoid this? thanks
2006-10-04 04:58:28 · 15 answers · asked by qalancho_0009 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He has to have proof the children are in danger living with you. He can't just "say" it. You must have a lawyer. Also, if he says things that he "knows" are untrue and is found out, then he would automatically lose custody. You should both try and work things out and have joint custody. The children are the losers in this if you don't.
2006-10-04 05:01:38 · answer #1 · answered by bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on the counter attack. Do you have teachers at your children's school who would go to court and say what a great parent you are. They don't have to hate the other parent...sometimes it's good if they say the other parent is good too so they don't seem biased. Past teachers work too. Also neighbors, babysitters, whomever you deal with on a day to day basis who see how you are with your children are excellent people.
In all custody battles there is a place on the final decrees that state that one parent can't talk bad about the other parent. So for now it won't hurt to mention that he is talking bad stuff about you to your children but know in the long run that it will be in the papers to use in future court hearings against him...cuz it sounds like this guy is one of those who will be a pain forever.
I'm not sure where you live but in almost every custody hearing they children go straight to the mom. It takes a social worker or a psychologists report against the mom for the court to give the kids to a father.
Don't be too concerned, keep your chin up, and be prepared to hear all kinds of lies coming from him cuz it sounds like he'll try anything.
Good luck.
2006-10-04 05:08:04 · answer #2 · answered by The Steele's 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doubtful that a Judge would make such a ruling without a home investigation or without having a Guardian Ad Litem investigate the situation. If you are not an alcoholic or drug addict, and you take proper care of the kids, you will retain custody. Judges aren't stupid, he/she will be able to determine if your ex is genuinely concerned about the children or if he's just being hostile. I had custody of my son when he was younger, my ex sued me for custody saying what a horrible parent I was. I defended myself Pro Se and put her on the stand and asked her how many times she called the Police and how many reports she made to DCFS, and when she said zero, that proved to the Court that there no problem and he dismissed her motion. Don't fret, it will all work out. If you can afford it, just hire a good attorney, law is definitely on your side. The Court will make decisions based on the kids though, so make sure you've got all your ducks in a row and you are taking the best care of your children that you can. Good luck.
2006-10-04 05:08:14 · answer #3 · answered by babalu2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im in exactly the same position as you and I have been here before with this guy. Your solicitor should have told you the courts are very uneasy about removing children from school. The most important thing in the proceedings will be the court welfare report called CAFCASS in the uk. Someone from the court will talk to you and your children separately and together they will ask your children what they think of both there parents and which they would prefer to live with. Prepare well for your CAFCASS meetings as they can swing a case. Another thing to do is get as many letters of support you can for instance from the school your parents and other family members. When you are on the stand talking to the judge be absolutely honest they are trained to detect lies and one lie can turn a judge against you i know because Ive seen it happen to my ex. you will be fine I'm sure that as long as no-one has any concerns for your kids safety the judge will not remove them from your care
2006-10-04 05:08:49 · answer #4 · answered by ms sensible 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, find a good lawyer. Second of all, stop doing anything that could harm your case, for instance, drinking alcohol, smoking around the kids, boyfriends, drugs, etc. Third of all, call and spend as much time as you possibly can with the kids to make sure that they are not believing his lies. Be the best possible mother you can be, respect yourself, respect your children, and don't bad mouth their father around the kids. The judge will see what's going on. And remember, they key to winning your children in the court of law is hire a good attorney. Good luck!
2006-10-04 05:05:06 · answer #5 · answered by mixemup 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through this very exact same thing. The judges see this thing all the time. It is a common thing for father's to come up with stupid ploys.
But the judge has to look at what is best for the children, everything your ex will come up with is for nothing. The reality is the best situation for the children. Usually always it is the mother.
I promise the judge will see right through this. Thankfully mine did. It was such a waste of time and money on ex's part, but oh well.
And the kids, they will always deeply know better about their mother and her love....
2006-10-04 05:02:41 · answer #6 · answered by sistermoon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have any proof of things you have done to be a good mother or character witnesses to testifiy that you are a good mother then that may help,if you have to hire someone who can get a little dirt on your ex-husband,see if you can get any skeletons out of his closet,if he wants to play dirty then why shouldn't you
unfortunatly it is his word against yours with no proof then the judge just may grant him custody of the children,it used to be the mother got the kids no matter what but it isn't that way anymore,you are going to have to fight and fight hard for your kids,but remember when you are in court try to be the better person,if you have nothing bad about him to say then don't say it if he can prove you wrong about it then don't try it,because it will just make you sound like a jilted lover who is trying to get revenge,therefore the judge will judge you on your character as well
2006-10-04 05:09:46 · answer #7 · answered by onyxpryzm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Courts tend to lean toward the mother in custody situations. Anything your husband claims about you must be proved conclusively in court (most of the time with witnesses and documentation). I wouldn't worry unless he has valid issues that you are demonstrating in relationship to your children.
2006-10-04 05:02:04 · answer #8 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hew can wrest the children away from you by court order, but he would have to prove you were an unfit mother and that the children are in some sort of danger of being badly influenced by you. For example, if you were an alcoholic or drug addict, and the children were exposed adversely to your habit, that would be good evidence for him against you. Good luck!!
Chow!!~!~
2006-10-04 05:04:37 · answer #9 · answered by No one 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way you will loose your kids is if he can prove your a bad mother i.e taking drugs violence and abuse i wouldn't worry to much my best friend has just gone through the same thing and now he only See's the kids on supervised visits. the judge will see straight through his lies... hope this helps
2006-10-04 05:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by king dong * 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋