What is so wrong about "needing" someone?

Question

Everyone is so fanatical about being independent but what is wrong with leaning on someone else every once in a whiile? I have a lot of trouble in my life doing the basic things people take for granite. I don't have a car so I have to make 2 trips to the grocery store on the bus in order to be able to carry everything and this takes about 3 or 4 hours although the store is only a mile away. A person with a car could do this in an hour. I work but don't make enough money and even if I worked 60 hours a week, I wouldn't make enough since I make very little an hour. I know my life would be better if I had a husband or boyfriend as it is easier for two to do it than one. I would like to find someone to have a life with and make a home for my daughter that would be better than her having to live with my parents. I am over 40 so I don't have my whole life ahead of me. I have already tried the technical school stuff and just ended up with a big student loan and a low job.

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with needing someone in your life. It's when you completely depend on that person for your personal and emotional strength that it becomes draining to the other person and unhealthy for both. In this day and age, it almost seems economically impossible to support oneself. The economy practically requires two incomes to even get by. I am sorry for your situation as from your statement it does seem like you are trying. Keep your chin up and best of luck.

Answer 2

It is good to be independent. And as far as I can see, you are being independent. I don't know your situation as far as why you don't have a car of some sort, perhaps you don't have a licence. I would suggest that you work on getting your licence for your own convience, which could also get you to a better a job making more money then you are now. Being 40 and having your own car and a better job and your child at home with you is being independent and having your life coming together. Most men want an independent woman. Yes they want to be leaned on for moral and emotional support, but they want to know that they can lean on you too. That you are emotional independent enough to handle there times of needing to lean as well. A man can not always be just be the *leaning tower* of a two way street relationship. There comes a time when you really have to PUSH yourself to do better. Your parents are not always going to be able to keep your daughter, at some point you will need to take her and provide for her. I do feel for you, but the only advice I am able to provide to you at this time is that if you don't do better and push yourself to do better then you are now, while you can....... then when you can't work anymore and you can't do better for yourself because time has ran out, you will be in a bind you can't get out of and may be alot worse off then you are now. I hope you see that, and work extra hard to change that future. Blessed be...........

Answer 3

Seems to me that you are looking for a sponsor and not a mate. I know of people older than you who went back to school to better themselves and you can do the same. It seems to me that you have very little to bring to the table and you are looking for some one to take care of you. Why not improve on yourself before you look for someone to "help" take care of you. Have you ever thought that maybe your attitude is what is keeping you from getting a better job? It seems to me that your self esteem is low. Lastly since you say that the grocery store is only a mile away, why don't you buy yourself a grocery cart and start walking. You are still young enough. And to answer your question, there is nothing wrong with needing a person but will you love him because you need him or need him because you love him? There is a difference!

Answer 4

Your right, having someone else in your life helping you is a lot easier then doing it on your own. Your best bet is to find someone that is already stable and start up a relationship with him, not just anybody will do for this type of situation.
I make good money, not great, but good, and I have 2 children, I am 28 and I was struggling to make ends meet until I met my Boyfriend, we have been together for 5 years now and plan on getting married this feburary, together we get our bills paid and sometimes have extra, but whats important is that we do it together and we know that without eachother neither one of us could do it at all, we live in a society now where everything is about money as sad as it may seem, it is true, help is always nice, just make sure you don't end up with someone who is going to pull you down more! and have a good time!

Answer 5

This is why it's important to go to college ;-)

But anyways, if you don't have the education from the technical school, even with experience you still probably can't get a very high job. It's okay to have someone...but you cannot be 100% dependent on them. If they leave you, you need to be able to support yourself and your daughter (which you are doing now, even if it isn't a great life). Don't leave the work force, because now, it's up to your work experience to get you a good job, and if you leave the work force you'll be losing those years of experience.

Answer 6

There's nothing wrong with "needing someone" emotionally, but I don't like the idea of hooking up with someone just to make your life easier. If I thought a girl was interested in me because I could give her rides to work or the grocery store, or because I could support her so she didn't have to support herself, I'd head in the opposite direction as fast as my legs could carry me.

Answer 7

Because you need to take care of yourself instead of relying on others to take care of YOU. You're an adult, that means it's time to grow up and not make other people take care of you like a child.

Many people in this world don't make enough money. At $11.15 an hour, I still wasn't making enough.

It means you find another job or cut your expenses instead of begging other people to take care of you.

How would you feel if you were taken advantage of by others all the time because they felt sorry for themselves instead of trying to fix their lives to support themselves?

That's the way life works. It sucks sometimes. That's life too. Take care of your own crap.

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with wanting someone, needing someone is another story. You are not going to find all the answers to your problems through a boyfriend or husband. You need to learn to depend on yourself and find happiness in yourself. Where there's a will there's a way.

Answer 9

The Gift of A Friend

There are days when
bubbling from us comes
the innocent child within,
who giggles at the little things
and wears a silly grin.

There are days when
depression comes to visit for a while.

The mind feels tired, the body weak,
we have no strength for a simple smile.

There are days when joy abundant,
grabs a hold of you and me.

Wraps us up in all it’s splendor,
lifts us up and sets us free.

There are days when sorrow wraps us,
in it’s cloak of grief and fear.

Till our hearts ache to the breaking,
until our eyes can’t shed a tear.

There are days when love bestows us,
with its wonderment and light.

The beauty of its mystery,
its power and its mite.

And there are days when life rewards us,
and seems to make amends.

By granting us a marvelous gift,
the precious gift of you. ! My friend. !
By: Kenny P. aka, Cobra

Answer 10

There is a difference between wanting someone and needing someone. I am sure that you would not want to look "needy" to your daughter and teach her to be the same way. You want somebody with a car, you want a higher paying job, you want to be out of debt, you want someone to have a family with. You don't need it. You will not die without it.
You are a strong, smart, capable person. You want normal things. I see nothing wrong with that.