I've recently been talking on the phone with my ex-wife, we sometimes talk for two or more hours. She's thirty eight,I'm forty one. When we were married we had the the best of times together, Everything was great until she came to the realization that her need to have a child was greater than the Love that we Shared. She knew before we were married that I wasn't able to have children but it wasn't a problem then. She was completely honest with me about her reason for wanting to separate, I was crushed and I feel that it hurt her deeply too. She broke my heart. It's been seven years since we've been apart. She's single now and has a five year old daughter and has come back into my Life. It feels like we are falling in Love again or like we have never been apart. I almost don't know how to feel. I'm Torn.Could you please give me some of your thoughts on this?
2006-10-04 04:44:40 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
True love will always be in your heart. Can you cope with the fact that she left you to have a child with someone else, knowing your personal issue?
I say go for it and love her until it hurts. As a bonus you get a little girl to love as well.
2006-10-04 04:50:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly honey I'd be very careful with her. Because she knew going in that you couldn't give her children and yet she still left you because of it. I get the feeling that she married you b/c she really loved you and honestly thought it wouldn't bother her that you couldn't give her children. Because when you're desperately in love, the biggest problems seem like molehills, you know? It's when the magic wears off. When things start getting "real".
I personally would have a problem with someone who did that. I mean, to put it very bluntly--you weren't good enough when she wanted a child but now that she has her child suddenly she wants you again? What's to say she won't do it again? I'd take it really slowly, because what she feels now may very well change in the future again. Yes, she's hurt by it, and yes, she really does love you, but this is a bit bigger than just love. She needs to decide what's really important, if she can really accept you for who you are AS you are, because up until now, she really hasn't.
Take it slow, honey. If it's meant to be, it will be. No need to rush at all. Trust your gut, that little voice in the back of your mind. It will never lead you wrong. Trust me, when the time comes, you'll know what the right decision is.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-04 12:10:53 · answer #2 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This must have been a difficult time in both of your lives. She left because she wanted more than what you could give her, and now that she has it she wants you back. Go for it and see what happens. The one thing to consider is the little girl she has now. Will you be able to help raise this child as your own knowing she was the reason why your ex-wife left you in the first place? Just remember though, it was not that little girls fault.
2006-10-04 11:52:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that since you and your ex kept things honest in your relationship and even through the divorce; GO FOR IT, if you both still seem to have feelings for one another and her only reason for leaving is solved, it might work this time! Where is her daughters father at in this picture though; will this end up creating another problem, or will he except the fact that he only will be coming around on the childs behalf?
2006-10-04 13:22:15 · answer #4 · answered by shelly_mo67 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too bad that when you were married you couldn't have found an alternative way to have children (adoption, artificial insemination, etc), however, since she left for that reason and now has a child, maybe things would work out for you two. Good luck!
2006-10-04 12:21:26 · answer #5 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The one thing that was once a deal breaker is no longer, and all that you once shared can be shared again. It was very important to her to have a child of her loins, and now that she has, nothing stands between the two of you being happy again, as you once were. Yes, by all means, accept her back into your life!
2006-10-04 11:57:01 · answer #6 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering your reason for seperation I don't see a problem with getting back together. Maybe it could work out now since she has a child, unless she wants more. From what you said here it sounds like you could really be happy together.
2006-10-04 11:52:21 · answer #7 · answered by kristina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very, very careful. My first exwife and I got back together after being apart for almost 30 years. Guess what? I got hurt again. She tried to get back together with me again again around December, but she could tell my heart was not in it.
2006-10-04 11:59:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be happy and fall in love again. You will probably never find that love with anyone else.
2006-10-04 11:50:37 · answer #9 · answered by Ronny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where's the baby's father??? Be careful, you might end up being chosen now for financial reasons.
2006-10-04 11:50:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋