My soon to be husband feels that since I didnpt get pregnant this month we should just stop trying. I feel that we should continue until it happens. I want to got o graduate school Fall 2007 and trying to have a baby now would make me due in the summer and I could still attend Grad school. If I don't have a baby now I have to wait 2 years until I am done with school which I don't want to do because I will then be starting a career. Am I being unreasonable or sensible? Is he just be selfish
2006-10-04 04:28:31 · 22 answers · asked by Curious Georgia 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
My soon to be husband feels that since I didnt get pregnant this month we should just stop trying. I feel that we should continue until it happens. I want to got to graduate school Fall 2007 and trying to have a baby now would make me due in the summer and I could still attend Grad school. If I don't have a baby now I have to wait 2 years until I am done with school which I don't want to do because I will then be starting a career. Am I being unreasonable or sensible? Is he just be selfish
2006-10-04 04:29:35 · update #1
He says if it was meant to be for me to get pregnant this month than it would've happened since it didn't its not meant to be. Thats his reason for not wanting to try anymore.
2006-10-04 04:41:04 · update #2
I am 21 and my fiancee is 23. I get so worried abotu hearing women say it takes them 5 years to conceive. So I feel I have to keep trying now so I could be able to have a child.
2006-10-04 04:47:41 · update #3
Hmm, it sounds like your fiancee' isnt' ready for children yet. If you have a child now, you might not make it through grad school. My mother almost had her PhD when my brother came along. So wait. What's the big rush? And if you happen to get pregnant along the way, well good luck to ya!
2006-10-04 04:33:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are, but just by own experiences, I would wait.
Graduate school is tough. Really try to imagine going to class, studying, attending to your fiancee's needs AND adjusting to being a new mom. Depending upon your career choice, it would seem to me that it might be easier when you are in your career and your education is behind you. It is too easy to take a semester off or drop down to part-time when you are feeling overwhelmed. If you are working, you can take a leave of absence, or drop to part-time but not worry about finishing school. I have a few friends who just finished school with kids. If they had it to do it all over again, they said they would finish before starting a family.
I don't think your fiancee is being unreasonable or selfish. He could just be looking out for you.
Also, why not wait until you are married?
ETA: Wait! You are so young! It does not take most women five years to conceive. Marriage will be a huge adjustment (even if you are living together). Adding a baby makes it that much more of a challenge. Not impossible, but challenging. Get married, finish school, ENJOY each other before becoming parents. Having a baby really does change everything.
2006-10-04 04:41:53 · answer #2 · answered by CD & EC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question is why are you in such a hurry? You are only 21 and he is 23, finish school, enjoy the early years of your marriage, have fun while you can. When you do have a baby your going out days will be numbered so you better enjoy the vacations and fun while you can. Then when the baby comes along you will be more mature and settled and capable of raising your child. And yes it does take some women longer to get pregnant, but there is no need in borrowing trouble (which means don't won't worry about what you can't control anyway)
2006-10-04 04:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by GreeneyedCowgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should wait until you are married.
Besides, you seem pretty focused on your career. Are you sure you want a baby right now? Why? Maybe you should wait until you are ready to be really focused on being a mom.
You didn't say how old you are......is there a reason to rush?
Who is going to raise this baby while you are in grad school? Who is going to care for this child while you work? Can you afford child care? Do you want to have a baby and have someone else raising it?
Why does he want to wait? I don't know if he is selfish if I don't know his reasons....these are yours.
I want to go to grad school.
I could still attend grad school.
I would have to wait two years.
I don't want to because I will be starting a career.
So far, there are 4 I/Me reasons to do it now. What are the reasons for the baby or your husband to be do have a baby now?
What are his reasons for waiting. My husband made me wait...and I'm glad. I finished my masters in time to stay home. Now I work from home and I'm with my kids. It worked out perfect!
YOU'RE ONLY 21!!!!! WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!! There is no reason to rush! My son was a first try baby at 29....my daughter...well....she's already started being difficult, it was two years...but I'm in a position to be a mommy for that to be my focuse.
2006-10-04 04:37:21 · answer #4 · answered by jm1970 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait till you get married and then figure it out. It might be better if you finish your school first and stay focused on that. Then after you graduate then try.. This way you are not being focused on two things well you are in school. Your homework will reflect that you have a new addition to the family by lower grade when you know you could have done better. The reason for the lower grade is because you were tired and the baby kept you up all night so you just rushed through it... FINISH SCHOOL FIRST!
2006-10-04 04:44:10 · answer #5 · answered by DO IT! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your fiance is making excuses to not have a baby right now because he is having second thoughts about children. You need to talk to him about this ASAP because it could become a problem.
And if you are both on the same page with the kids, have one when YOU and HE are ready, not when other people tell you to have one. I had my son at 21, out of wedlock, in what would have been my 4th semester of college. He and I turned out just fine.
And at 32 I wish that I had all my kids in my 20's because that's when I would have had more energy. But I'm getting married next week and plan on getting preggers quite soon after that to have a kid in '07.
2006-10-04 09:05:09 · answer #6 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait! I understand your feelings, but think about it.....do you want to have a baby next summer, then be off to school? Do you know how much attention new babies need? You'll be busy attending school, studying, etc. at the times when the baby needs you the most. So you wait 2 years...you're only 21.....people have kids well into their 30's...you have plenty of time, don't rush it!
2006-10-04 05:39:26 · answer #7 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't have kids until you are BOTH ready. Its not selfish to want to be ready to support kids. I wish I had waited so they could have all the deserve. Also understand that pregnacies dont' alwasy go according to plan...
I currently have a 2yo & a 7mo. I am also in college & a stay at home mom. I pay like crazy for child care so I can attend class. I use what is left over of my federal pell to cover MOST of thei child care.. however the rest has to go on CREDIT.
I play, clean house. and study after they sleep. Thats my life.
I'm a zombie.
2006-10-04 04:34:52 · answer #8 · answered by Lady in Pink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL! You must be a much better woman than me! I couldn't even have thought of grad school with a newborn! Get your education FIRST, trust me! You never know what you may get when you do get pregnant - I had TWINS - NATURALLY - no drugs... I used to plan for when I wanted to get pregnant - life isn't that structured - especially when pregnancy is concerned. Get your degrees, get a good job with good benefits and maternity leave and THEN try to get pregnant. Being a little older is a good thing - you'll be more patient and know more about life in general. Your finacee is absolutely right!
2006-10-04 04:34:12 · answer #9 · answered by applebetty34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world would you want to conceive right now when you have so much other stuff going on in your life???? I think you fiance is correct, firstly because he should be your HUSBAND before you get pregnant, and why add the extra financial burden on yourselves if you are trying to pay for school. I don't think he is being selfish, maybe you should take the hint, he may not be ready to add a child on top of everything else. You have plenty of time to have a child.......
2006-10-04 04:32:38 · answer #10 · answered by Scooter Girl 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋