2006-10-04 04:22:02 · 34 answers · asked by forshawjennifer 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Horoscopes
I really feel for you. I have been through a similar experience in the last couple of years. Had my heart broken. And the worst thing was I did the breaking up! It was only in hindsight that I regretted it and missed him so much more than I thought. I really thought the grass was greener. I have learned that the grass isnt necessarily greener,but there are still many blades of grass to choose from! Various different types, offering various things. What do you want from a relationship? What makes you happy? Take time out to think about what your ideal man would offer you and how you may find it. Please do take time to grieve over this relationship though, cos if you dont, it will hit you later down the line. Now is time to call on friends, catch up with people, shop and make new friends.
I will always love my ex in a way. He was my first love, the first person I lived with and so many other things we shared together over 8 years. I had problems with my new boyfriend initially as I compared everything he did to my ex. What I learned (with help from friends and a counsellor) was that I was also looking at the relationship through rose tinted glasses - I left for a reason. I didnt get all I wanted out of it. And it is important that you look at the logical side of your break up too. It happened for a reason.
You will be fine. I know its hard to imagine at the moment, god even nearly 3 years on, I still have pangs every now and then of doubt and regret, but I am coping and learning to do things for myself more. I also learned from my mistakes in that relationship and have put them right in my new relationship. That has made a massive difference to the way I used to be, and I think I am a better person for it. So I guess you do have to go through various stages in your life, including break ups, to totally grow and develop yourself.
Good luck with it all, I hope you are happy!
2006-10-04 06:33:24 · answer #1 · answered by NikkiJane 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm a good one to answer this cause 6 months ago I went thru the exaact same thing and it still hurts as much today as when I got my "break-upemail." This h appened to me 5 years ago as well. And after that one I never thought I would love again. And I DID try dating others and would only think of the one who hurt me. I never thought I would "connect" with anyone in that way ever again. Dating was no fun. It just made me remember. But one day 5 years later I started talking to someone online. From the pictures i didn't think they were my type at all but still we continued to talk and became friends. This person invited me to visit and I did. When we met it was like lightning hit me. But I guess the feeling was not the same. I was lied to from the start. I was made to believe the feelings I had were returned. Eventually that ended too. As a result anyone I would happen to meet from this point on, I will probably not completely trust as a result of what this last one did to me. Right now I very much doubt that I will ever be so stupid to give my heart away like that again. Even though time proved to me that I could love after that other one 5 years ago, I am getting older now and don't want to go thru all the drama and bullsh it called "love." If you have the patience for it, take some time and heal then start looking. I won't. But I'll tell you right now that if and when you do start to date again, you will probably think about him thru out the entire date with this new person. I hope for your sake one day you will see someone and connect with him in that special way. Only time can stop the pain. Keep remember ing that. ALso try writing down a list of all the things he did that upset or hurt you and read it often.
2006-10-04 05:23:55 · answer #2 · answered by pinkrosegreeneyes bluerose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no-one can take all of your love. he may have taken a lot of your energy for the moment, but it is temporary. break-ups bring much change, which can be very very scary. face it, and change your life for the better. make sure you do one thing each day that is a little extra special, just for you. make a plan at the beginning of the week, eg: sunday have breakfast at a really nice little cafe with a good friend. monday get a manicure. tues buy a new cd, wed call your mum or go over with some chocolates, thurs buy some shoes, fri go out with the people from work/college etc.. make sure you are making time for yourself, and not wasting time on this guy. soon enough you will realise that if he didnt want the relationship to continue then he wasnt worth it.
2006-10-04 04:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by gwendolynpearce 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're hurting right now and even though it's hard you have to try to learn something from it. Each relationship you go through is teaching you something that will help you the next time around. I know how you feel. But I also know that even though this person was a big part of your life, it doesn't mean you have to close yourself up for the rest of your life. I have to believe that there will one day be someone who truly knows how to love me the way I deserve to be loved. We can't give up because we're scared. Love itself is infinite. You never run out, you never lose it all or give it all. It's like wind, no matter how much or how hard it blows there's always more. Or the ocean, you could scoop ship fulls of it out and still there's more. Wounds heal, scars fade, and broken hearts mend. Get yourself busy and live your life. The man of your dreams is looking for you right now, how will he ever find you if you're hiding? Take care hon and good luck.
2006-10-04 05:06:22 · answer #4 · answered by lovelee1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need some time to yourself before you'll be able to get into anything else with someone else - but you WILL love again, you just need to get your heart back together first!
My tips:
- Accept that it's over. If you're still hoping that you'll get back together then you won't be able to move on.
- Remind yourself that there ARE other men out there who you find attractive by watching movies featuring hot film stars, ideally a fun & feel-good movie - Brendan Fraser in George of the Jungle always works for me in these situations! ;o)
- You can also use an NLP technique: Think of your ex and note down how you see the picture of him in your head, whether it's near or far, small or large, colour or black and white, moving or still, up or down, left or right. Then think of someone you don't fancy or care about & note down how the picture of them is in your mind according to the above list. You should find that it is different. Take your mental image of your ex and change it to match the same style as the image of the person you don't fancy. For example, if your ex was moving & in colour & Mr Ew!!! Was in a black & white still picture, change your ex to be black & white & a still picture too. Then, every time he pops into your head, consciously change the image to fit the pattern that goes with people you don't fancy, it should help you cool off him.
(N.B. - Same thing works for helping to stop cravings for cigarettes or any other bad for you thing!)
Good luck.
2006-10-04 23:35:47 · answer #5 · answered by hypno_witch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds that you are pining over your x, but is your x pining over you. He's the one with all the love, and I'll bet you he's just doing fine. Men, it's true will never love as women, but when you find a man who truly loves, when you break up, he doesn't get to take all of the love, there is love leftover for you too. You don't have any love, which tells me that you gave more than you took. Let that be a lesson for you. You will find love again, he may have already. Time will be the healer. You know what to look for the next time around.
2006-10-04 04:35:25 · answer #6 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you a question. Did he take the love that you should have for God or what ever you may call Him?
If you answered no, then he did not truly take all of your love. For to love the Almighty is to love yourself and others.
If you answered yes, then what do you have to live for?
I know from experience when you want to hold on so tightly to that one love that no matter what they do you want them. It is difficult because you feel like you will never be able to love anyone or anything again including yourself. Now do you have children? I do and I even thought I lost the love I had for my child and wanted my life to be taken. I had to realize that whatever happenes in your relationship and in life will never be fair. I had to think about my daughter because at that time she was all I had even though I neglected everything in my life including her. Was I to litteraly kill myself or keep feeling that my ex had took all my love and still kill my life, never wanting to do ANYTHING. Which is killing your soul and living a dull and miserable life while this guy who never TRULEY loved me lives on with other women creating families and relationships and repeating the same thing he did to me over and over. Do you want that evil to win. Not saying that he is evil but he has given you and left you with this evil spirit.
I challenge you to think about EVERYTHING that you are greatful in your life for. Even if it's the fact that your mom watched your child for you to get some fresh air for a while, or if you went to the store and found that you found the last of your favorite candy bar or whatever.
My advice for you is to just appreciate yourself and realize that your life affects others as others affects yours. Look at your ex as something bad that had to happen for you to realize your true potental and worth. Think about what he has done and what you have done because you know you threw a little gas on the flames as well and think about what you can change in yourself to help future and present relationships prosper, not just love relationships but all of your realtionships.
Thank you for asking this question because you not only allowed someone to help you but you helped me to remember what I have to do. And again no matter what, you will always affect others even when you are the one looking for help and that is LOVE.
God Bless You and I hope you find your way because when there is a WILL there is a way!
2006-10-04 05:48:53 · answer #7 · answered by BLUGODDESS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our capacity to love goes beyond just one person, you will come to terms with losing this guy in time, I promise. It is so hard in the beginning I know, but one day you will meet someone new and love all over again. You can't stop your feelings, so don't battle against them. Just be grateful for all you had with him, don't try to hate him, just take a deep breath and move on to the next chapter in your life.
Good luck x
2006-10-04 04:32:50 · answer #8 · answered by kezls_79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to your ex and grab the love back. No remind your self why it didn’t work and find his and your faults in it. Then tell your self that wasn’t true love and you have to move on. If you find it hard dream of the right person in your head and then tell yourself the only way to find the right person is to leave the old one behind. Seek friends help and council ling if you really need it too.
2006-10-04 04:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by Fariy_God_Sistah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, some say that everyone has two loves this is your first yeah he was good and all and, he will always be in your heart and, somewhere in the back of your mind. But there is an even better love for you out there and he's waiting
2006-10-04 09:34:22 · answer #10 · answered by Chavontee w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋