can you trust your friends for the 2nd time?

Question

she said something behind my back... and of course i was furious, mad and dissapointed...
why should she did that... we're best friends, we're suppose to help each other right....

Answer 1

Yes. A friend must always be trusted. But the pertinent question is -- is she really your friend?

Answer 2

I had experience with this....I had a best friend and she went behind my back a few times and everytime I always forgave her until one time she did something so bad that I wasn't able to forgive her and to this day I am still angry and hurt by it. I say you should not give her a second chance you need to watch out for yourself first if your friend did it once there is a good possiblity that this person will do it again.

Answer 3

Turn the Other Cheek...sluff it off, ignore it, that's just the pains of adolescence; besides, when you are a 'grownup' this problem will become petty & a minor annoyance. There will be too many REAL problems to worry about 1)Job 2) Rent payment 3) raising rotten kids 4) unfaithful partner.

Answer 4

If you look into it deeply you will find that behind most forms of trust there is still a distrust beneath it.

Here is what Anthony De Mello said:

"Do you think you help people because you are in love with them? Well, I've got news for you. You are never in love with anyone. You're only in love with your prejudiced and hopeful idea of that person. Take a minute to think about that: You are never in love with anyone, you're in love with your prejudiced idea of that person. Isn't that how you fall out of love? Your idea changes, doesn't it? "How could you let me down when I trusted you so much?" you say to someone. Did you really trust them? You never trusted anyone. Come off it! That's part of society's brainwashing. You never trust anyone. You only trust your judgment about that person. So what are you complaining about? The fact is that you don't like to say, "My judgment was lousy." That's not very flattering to you, is it? So you prefer to say, "How could you have let me down?"

Answer 5

If she is a true best friend she will apologize after you confront her. Tell her exactly how you felt and that it hurt you. If you can trust her again you will be able to tell by her actions when you talk to her about it. If she gets smartassed and defensive then you will never be able to trust her again

Answer 6

ask her why did she said that about you and try to forgive her and i know it is hard because i was in the same situation. I was mad at her for about 3months or so, but evenually i go over it and right now she has said anything else about me that i know of. You have a right to get mad, but dont hold a grudge about it

Answer 7

confront your Friend calmy and ask her why she said it some time people say and do thing with out thinking about it.so if your friend means anything to you tell her how you fill about what she did and what she said . i hope things work out for you good friends are hard to find.think about what she said was it all that bad to end a friendship over

Answer 8

Well, the best thing that you and your friend can do is to forgive and forget each other. No use crying over spilled milk, so don't lose a good friend over a stupid fight .! Be happy :P

Answer 9

Have you confronted her about it?

I haven't had any trust problems with close friends, but I'm pretty sure it will be really difficult for me to get past the loss of trust... especially if they're really close to me.

Answer 10

I always give my friends the benefit of the doubt once, but then i draw the line. One friend has the crossed the line twice and i no longer have contact with him.