How do you really get over a heartbreak?

Question

I have recently endured a severe heartbreak as a result of my, then girlfriend, splitting up with me. After 1 month she ran off with another fellow from her work. I consider myself somewhat fortunate in that it has happened to me when I have no kids, no joint property, no marriage etc.
However, it still deeply hurts and ever since this traumatic event, I really haven't been myself.
I have tried to approach new girls and chat them up, but I feel I am very low in self-esteem and confidence; I feel as if I have lost my energy to go out on the prowl.
What really scares me now is that I really did trust that girl, and the ironic thing was that she was more into me than I was into her if that makes sense. She was so petrified that she was going to lose me one day and did everything to keep a hold on me.
With all that security I was given, and then the whole thing turning boomerang on me, how can I now look at the next girl, when she speaks such words of emotion, and genuinely believe her

Answer 1

build a bridge and get over it.

Answer 2

come on your a man heartbreak!it's the say of the past i'd say.you were realy very lucky and that guy from her office has done you a favour and you sould buy him a drink the next time you see him.
you deserve better.stop feeling helpless your the man with the ball's and your the one that has to find the right lady.
don't treat no one the way you would'nt want to be treated.come on.pull yourself up and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
don't look for the negative in a lady.all 5 finger's are not the same you never know you would be lucky and find some one realy nice.don't stand there like there is a big wall between you and life out there.good luck it's a pitty you were not my man.be stong you are a nice person and don't let anyone tell you any different.good luck.

Answer 3

I feel sorry for you bro. The fact that you can not still approach another girl or you don't feel them is evident enough that you have not yet healed from the past. Let time take it's course in healing you.In doing so please do not visit places that you used to visit with her, if possible you can change even your place of residence and work more on your self esteem by reading books that would help you on that part. The other thing consider seeing a psychologist or a social worker for them to advice you.

The reason why you have not been yourself is because when ever you sleep with a woman you leave your spirit with her because men do project and women recieve. Tough stuff neh.

Try looking at it from this perspective, anyone who was not meant to be your wife would always leave, that is she was never meant to stay. So arise and shine and tommorrow when you wake up look in the mirror and say to yourself I AM A NEW MAN, I AM STRONG AND UNSHAKEABLE, you know most times we should encourage ourselves.

The same thing happened to me recently with this guy who used to swear his love,devotion and all that you can think only to realise that he was engaged. I had to move on and on i have moved.

Good luck and focus on your self esteem.

Answer 4

Hummm..im very sorry this happened.
Take a step back and really examine the relationship. What did you really lose? Was this person someone that is really worth what you are feeling right now?
When she left, if you really think about it, all she TOOK was her physical presence. You chose to let her take your self esteem and confidence. Take authority over your emotions and take control over the situation. Choose to be okay. Acceptance is a really big step. Accept the fact that she is no longer in your life, accept that you are hurt. But do not let it overtake you.
you are bigger than your situation. I have been there and I now how you feel. I also know that she did you a big favor and got out of the way for the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Take Care and Be encouraged

Answer 5

Wow. That really sucks. All you can do for yourself is move on. I am sure many people have said that, but that is only because it is the truth. But some people don't know how to do that. I really don't think going out on the town and trying to pick someone else up is the real solution to your problem. Leave women alone for a while. Go and chill/hang out with your guy friends, see a concert or a game with them. The best thing to do is to just not think about it/her. Occupy your mind with things that make you happy, unrelated to your past lover. If you don't have a job, get one. It will take up your time and you will feel better because working gives you a sense of purpose. It really does, unless you have a sh*tty job. Maybe start going to school, or just going to places where people your age hang out. Take comfort in friends, that is why they are there. And just be yourself and enjoy it. Even though you can't forget about her, you can think about something else. Good luck.

Answer 6

Oh my God, I am so sorry, The same thing happened to me and I was sick, I couldn't even kiss someone after 4 dates,- 6 months later. The most important thing is that you can not let is change your outlook on love. For now, I remember that it was the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last thing I thought about when I went to sleep.
I was heart broken. The biggest problem was the fact that the person said they wanted to be with me and loved me. I really believed it and that moment is what hurt the most. I think we have a hard time loving ourselves so when that moment comes when we believe someone else loves us, it is devistating and embarassing and hurtful that we could have believed that.
The point is to love yourself.
You will be better equipped to handle this in the future and more than likely to avoid insincere people all together.
Love yourself sounds corney but it is not about finding yourself, It is about creating yourself. (If you believe in God pray or meditate. If you do not believe in God.then I wish you good luck)
Any way,you could get fresh air, focus on a younger person that you can help with the things that you already know about , big brother or sister, programs. Keep your mind off of her and off of filling the void with someone else, do not drink too much and be sure to feel the pain. Do not 'stuff' it or you will take it out on someone that is worth your love in the future.

Spell check is not on so sorry about that part

Answer 7

You ask a question we all have to answer at sometime in our lives. We all have our own way of dealing with the break-up of a friendship, but to get over heartbreak is the more difficult thing in a life to deal with.

I know that I am in line for a trip to Heartbreak hotel also and can be sympathetic towards you. Trouble is with my current situation both of us know that this is going to hurt, but there is little we can do to stop what must happen.

All I can suggest is that time does heal the wounds of a break-up (this advice I have to take for myself very soon) and your confidence will grow again. How soon you get over this is down to you, but do not rush it or you may have to deal with another heartbreak. The fact that you got very close to this person in such a short space of time is in my opinion irrelevent. The fact that you got that close is the important thing. Trust as you say is the one thing that you gave, but did you give it too quickly, I think so. Your next friendship/relationship will come along and you will learn that to give trust is something not to be rushed. When you trust her will be up to you but at some point you will. There are no set rules, no guidelines, no laws that say at what speed you build up a friendship into a relationship. Don't think that you have to get things done by a certain time or date, this would only lead into more trouble for your heart too.

Each of us have our own way of handling love and the problems it can bring, no two people are the same and you should not compare yourself to anyone else.

I wish that I could be of more help but I can't as my own life is about to be shattered by a brokenheart that got in too deep. (It happens to those with lots of life experiences (like me) as well as people like you).

Maybe I can offer you some support email me using Y Answers email service.

You will be wondering from where I get my experience. This will be my second serious friendship to break - the first one was a friendship that was on for 10 years - It took me 20 years to get over that one because I was in so deep and so young. Now older I got into this one much more deeply than the first but this one has been going for nearly 11 months. I have helped many young people get over their heartbreak by sharing what I know and have learnt.

Good luck and I hope that you will find the way round to dealing with your severe heartbreak my friend.

Mark Witham.

Answer 8

Right now I think you need to focus your attention on something else. Picking at that scab will never make the wound heal.

I got over a huge heart -break once by discovering photography. I joined a photo club and when people started compliment my photos my confidence rose and after 6 months in the club I started dating a girl there and without me know my confidence was back.

Best of luck to you dude. It ain't easy. For now don't dewel on the trust thing. You'll cross that bridge when you get there. Be good to yourself for a while.

Answer 9

As a person these are the things that your going to have to go through until you reach the right person.....

Always remember: You live to learn...And learn to live.....

Don't let her take away your joy... She seen that you were a person who could have anybody that's why she acted as if she wanted and needed you so bad.....

She knew she wouldn't be able to keep you that's why she broke up with you... And why be mad over a female like that.. Just be glad that she's not your problem..And please believe the person that she's with.. She is going to do the same thing to him..

Have you ever heard of an apple tree.... Well picture women as being apples.... You wouldn't pick one up off the ground cause you know it has no flavor... Some times you have to reach really high to get the good ones... Or shift through to find the one that is right for you....

It's the same thing with the fruits of life.. Don't let one bad apple spoil it for you....

One person trash is the next persons treasure... You will be OK....

Keep your head up and keep it moving....

Good luck.. Next time you know to take your time in getting to know someone...

Answer 10

Well time has to do with it and the fact that you will need to accept she has moved on. You need to think why you two broke up. Trust is a hard thing to do, especially when you lost trust in someone. The best thing to do is to date and start off slow.Get a feel for the person then take it from there. You need to move on and forget that girl. If she loved you enough she would not have moved on like she did.

Answer 11

u need 2 pay attention 2 women around u , watch out for the ones that r giving u the eye and watch out for the ones "giving u the i" i feel u should go out get drunk and get laid because u dont need a relationship now u need 2 get over the fear of women as creatures and realize that they can also be preadetors use the knowledge that u have gained from this experience and go out there used that sob story 2 get sympathy sex its ut there and from there u should be able 2 gather up confidence ohhhh and please do not fall 4 the girl that gives u sympathy sex its called sympathy sex 4 a reason. good luck and go well u know the 4 letter word that ryhmes.