ok me and man are soooo happy together the only problem we have with eachother always stems back to this girl , that he used to hook up with but is good friends with now, and i try to accept it but every now and then,it causes issues . now he is looking for a job that pays more cause he wants to be able to move out and get an apartment with me. this girl works as a receptionist for a company that is hiring in their accounting dept , which just so happens is what my boyfriend does. is it selfish of me that i dont want him to go for the job cause the thought of them working together every day is disturbing for me, and should i tell him how i feel about this .
2006-10-04 04:05:28 · 17 answers · asked by LISA M 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't think it's so much selfish as it is just making you VERY UNCOMFORTABLE and my lord who WOULDN'T in that situation???? I'd tell him there are TONS more opportunities besides THAT company and please go apply to those for the sake of our relationship! (with a sweet li'l smile, of course)
2006-10-04 04:09:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First the negative: I would be way too insecure to let my boyfriend work with his ex. The thoughts would drive me crazy like does he want to be with her are they shaggin at lunch will he have second thougts.
Now the positive: It's great she helped him find a job. With the money he makes he will be able to get an apartment with you. Sounds like he is excited about moving forward with you.
Accountants are not able to get out of the office much. Anyways if he so happened to mess with her then so be it. It's better to find out now than later.
2006-10-04 04:15:50 · answer #2 · answered by :o) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all boils down to trust. And also where you are headed to with this relationship. If you trust him, tell him about your feelings and concerns then let him apply for the job. Encourage his career growth and let him realise that if he gets the job, he really doesn't owe the girl anything other than verbal thanks. Keeping him from doing what may work out for him and you because of a concern that may never materialise is selfish.
2006-10-04 04:14:59 · answer #3 · answered by oluseyi a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he should respect you enough to decline the job and end his friendship with this girl. He knows it bothers you and yet he continues to talk to her. If they had always been just friends and nothing more, no problem - but once you have a sexual history with someone, it's really easy to fall back into it again. He needs to step up and admit this isn't right - hope all works out!!
2006-10-04 04:15:28 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him how he really feels about this....and let him know how you feel about it as well. I DO know that working with one's mate is cause for divorce. So perhaps it will have that kind of effect on them.
Seriously........ working together is really NOT a good thing for a relationship. With that said, cross that bridge when you get to it.
Maybe she needs to be resolved from your relationship once and for all. Which possibly may be more of an issue for you, then he.
2006-10-04 04:14:07 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to him and let him know. I myself wouldn't want him working with an old flame. I'd tell him that he needs to choose me or her. It's not fair to feel as though you are always competing with this other women. And if he ends up working with her - it will only make them closer. He will end up seeing her more during the day/week than you. You'll start getting resentful and not trust him, and that will drive him into her arms, again. Don't let him do it!
2006-10-04 04:12:55 · answer #6 · answered by jt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is sort of selfish however he should not put himself in a position where he could be tempted by her. It is always hard to get over physical attraction to your ex and working in the same building is asking for trouble. If you trust him... it should be fine though... Do you hang out with her at all? Do you think she still wants him?
2006-10-04 04:10:10 · answer #7 · answered by Mike Hunt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to be open with him or the relationship wont work. Tell him "im uncomfortable with you and her working so closely together and i accept that you are friends however it would make me really uneasy if you were to work there. I hope you can understand where im coming from." It sounds like he loves u or he wouldnt want to live with you!
2006-10-04 04:10:39 · answer #8 · answered by nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, it's selfish and immature.
let him take the job and then he can start looking for a new position that pays more somewhere else. He will be working with a friend but he will be living with and loving you.
2006-10-04 04:08:16 · answer #9 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would bug me too. Talk it over with him, explain how you feel but don't make it an argument. You have to make your feelings known or you'll end up resenting him for stepping on them. I don't think you're being selfish.
2006-10-04 04:13:25 · answer #10 · answered by Chocoholic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋