18 years ago the guy I was dating commited suicide, he was also my neighbor (a bit older then me but when I was of age we started seeing eachother) but now the name on his grave stone is wearing off, if I paint in his name with a fine brush and make it look new again will his family members be offended? Is this wrong and can I get into trouble by doing this? Would they find out it were me that did it, if I do?
2006-10-04 03:22:52 · 16 answers · asked by sophia_of_light 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just do it. The family obviously isn't doing the maintennance. They may even appreciate it. If they approach you just cheerfully say that you realize that they didn't have the time and since you did you didn't think they would mind but if they do then you are sorry and then don't do it again. It's probably a control thing. Or possibly it's too painful of an experience for them so they don't visit the grave often.
2006-10-04 03:41:58 · answer #1 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
track down his family and ask them, and if you're not comfortable doing that then just do it. Its seems as tho u jst want to clean his grave up a bit, wheres the harm in that. If you do get in trouble, just tell them you didnt mean to offend anyone, that you just wanted to help and you didn't think it would be a problem because it was something you thought you could do as a nice gesture to them. Hope it helps
2006-10-04 03:28:16 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might go to jail for defacing a grave...worst case. But don't you think it would be more polite to humbly ask the family if you could "freshen up" or "update" the headstone? After all, he was family to them and you would want the same courtesy, would you not? They will think it's wonderful so go ahead. Very nice of you to do that. Godloveya.
2006-10-04 03:26:24 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-18 11:34:04 · answer #4 · answered by briscoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
speak to the family before you do anything to the grave stone, i know you are trying to be helpful in restoring where it has eroded but just check it out with the family first
2006-10-04 03:26:31 · answer #5 · answered by Alik411 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you'd better ask them first.Tell them what he meant to you and that you just want to do that in his memory. I don't think they will feel offended, I don't see why. Good luck! it's a very nice thing to do!
2006-10-04 03:29:06 · answer #6 · answered by sweetkiss2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should anyone be offended that you cared enough to do the work.
They probably will feel more shamed for not doing it themselves.
2006-10-04 04:51:48 · answer #7 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask the family if they mind if you do it? I think they will be happy that you want to do that.
2006-10-04 03:29:12 · answer #8 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better not do it. It has to be done by the family. If you dare to ask them, probably they will let you do it.
2006-10-04 05:41:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the cememtary what there policy is, then inform the family.
2006-10-04 03:53:04 · answer #10 · answered by damisaunders@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋