A friend of mine left her husband (3rd marriage). He is mean and verbally abuses her. She came to me a month ago, and said things were getting out of hand.. He hates her children and she found out he was sending naked pics of himself to women online.. Also, she found out that he had been engaged to a woman in Mexico while they were split up for a few months before they got married... She asked if her and her children could move in with me and my children.. Which of course, I could use the help financially. So it's been three weeks..... She is going to see her husband every night when the kids go to bed, spending weekends with him while her kids are at their dads... She doesn't help with any cleaning or cooking and hasen't helped pay bills (which she agreed to).. She's not a good mom to her kids and is moody and lazy. Her plan right now is that she is going to give him 6 months to get help he needs and see if they can work it out. I need advice on what I should do.
2006-10-04 03:19:37 · 7 answers · asked by t 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Tell her if she doesnt clean up her act in 2 months then you want her out. Thats the only way she'll take responbility for her kids. Don't give her forever to get her 5hit straight, tell her she needs to straight pulling her weight or get the hell out. Don't compromise yourself for NO ONE! cause I bet she wouldnt tolerate it if the shoe was on the other foot.
2006-10-04 03:23:40 · answer #1 · answered by Melia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you cannot go back and change the past. Because, personally, I do not think you should have gotten involved at all. However, you need to give her a time limit. Sit her down and tell her that she needs to help out, at least with household chores, or she can go live with the busband that she obviously still has a thing for. I know it is hard. but maybe if you issue an ultimatum it wi.ll get her butt in gear.
2006-10-04 10:23:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her polietly tat you wil help her find a place for herself so tat she feels more comfortable , if she continues to stay tell her tat ur findit it inconvinient and if she chooses to get angry then u hav nothign to lose cos she is not a very nice friend!
she totally is using ur generosity !
stand up and b poliet and tell ehr tat you wud prefer is she moved out as she was anyway resolving things with her husband , so she shud find a place for herself !
2006-10-04 10:53:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick her out before sh*t really hits the fan and her husband starts to come after you because if she is just going to stay with him then she is just as loony as he is but that is just my apining. I really don't know them but it sounds crazy to me and I would not be getting in the middle of that crazy sh*t.So good luck because you are going to be needing it bye.
2006-10-04 10:43:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell her what you just said here...maybe a little more tact-full but tell her...but it sounds like it will not matter anyway...if you are helping her she needs to start helping herself also which does not sound like what she is doing...if she is seeing him so much she needs to go back...i had a family member do the same thing with me and she did not do anything to improve her situation or life so i sent her back...
just remember you can only do so much
2006-10-04 10:26:55 · answer #5 · answered by turner32542 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to get out and find her own babysitter
you didnt offer to be her caretaker just provide her a healthy environment to be safe in and she pays you back by going back to that enviorment it wasnt so bad to begin with then
Good Luck and God Bless!!
2006-10-04 10:53:59 · answer #6 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is trustworthy, continue helping with shelter and explain you don't mind helping...and you need her to also help you
2006-10-04 10:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by phyllis_neel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋