I had a child when I was 19, forced to give her up for adoption. I have now located her and she does not want to meet me. Why?
2006-10-04 03:12:02 · 10 answers · asked by troopergirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She probably can't understand why you gave her up for adoption. She may not understand that you love her. Give her time. She may change her mind and decide to see you...best of wishes...
2006-10-04 03:14:15 · answer #1 · answered by ♥honey♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to meet your child and talk with her and hopefully grow a connection there, then I wouldn't take it so to heart and be more understanding. Your child is an adult now, and someone else has adopted and raisedher for you through the toughest times of her teenage years, and that is how she sees it. You are a wound in her that has never healed. The adopted parents were the ones there for every birthday, for every scraped knee, and for every broken heart and to answer questions as they came. Your child doesn't understand how you could just give her up like that. At 19 you were forced to give her up? You were a legal adult and able to make choices of your own......... no one could force you to do anything, although I think you know and see that now..........but your child is not willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. You are trying to enter your childs life after 19 yrs of just letting your child get use to the fact that she was adopted and that you were nowhere to be found. Its going to take time..... but your child will come around when she is ready and she feels she is prepared to ask you questions and ready for the answers you will provide. Keep in touch................. don't be over baring, give her space..... but let her know that you are here now. You can not make up for lost time, but you can be apart of your childs future if you are patient and loving, and allow your child the time she needs to come around and get use to the idea of you. Be gental with your childs feelings and be respectful of your childs feelings.... no matter how hard that may be. YOU let her go as an infant, she has a right to be angry. Blessed be.........
2006-10-04 04:50:48 · answer #2 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might not wish to go down that road and possibly dredge up resentment over why you gave her up for adoption.
She's an adult now and you have to live by her choice; if you can, keep in touch with her adoptive parents and let her know that she can contact you if she wishes. All you can do otherwise is hope that she reconsiders in time.
2006-10-04 03:15:04 · answer #3 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am an adopted child and I dont ever want to meet my biological mother.A "mother"is one that raises the child from birth till adulthood...My mother today is the only one I know and the only one I EVER want to know.Why the heartache of meeting the one who brought me to life?What will she ever have to say that will make a difference?She had a choice,and she made it......end of story!!
2006-10-04 03:18:44 · answer #4 · answered by firefly 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
same thing happened my sister, its a very traumaric and scary thing for any person to face. its a fear of the unknown, fear of hurting her adoptive parents, fear of unleashing unknown emotions. dont pressure her, put yourself in her situation and give her space.
2006-10-04 03:17:31 · answer #5 · answered by butterflykisses.ie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because she has HER family. She probly feels like she was given up cuz she wasnt wanted. You have to feel HER side of it. I would leave her alone.
2006-10-04 03:19:41 · answer #6 · answered by ~~ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may be bitter towards you. I would give her your name/number and when she matures and has time to think more about it she may look you up.
2006-10-04 03:16:33 · answer #7 · answered by MCS 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it depends on her age now, if she is still young maybe she just doesnt understand, but with age she might come around, best of luck with this
2006-10-04 03:18:01 · answer #8 · answered by garimcnabb 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Duh! coz u gave her for adoption... that's like selling ur kid... like saying the kid's not important to u.. only money is all u care about....
That would b the stuff ur kid would b thinking of u..
2006-10-04 03:17:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i wouldn't either why should she leave her alone.
2006-10-04 03:15:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋