weekends too. We went from having a very loving and passionate relationship to him coming home and not even talking. I appreciate him working but it is causeing problems for us. I moan that I cant see him and not too mention we are having issues with my son (his step son). He says Im always complaining and he things my parenting is not good dealing with this rut but I am trying! Is there anyhting I can do? I have tried writing him little love notes, sending him sweet emails. I know I need to stop giving him grief, I just miss him and our relationship we had. I just dont understand how he has changed so much so drastically. I know working will do that but he seems to have no intrest in me right now. Makes me sad. Do I sound selfish? THnaks. I really want to work this out.
2006-10-04 03:10:27 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honestly, as a man... yeah you sound like you've been a bit nagging. I do understand this situation though, and after a long stint of working hours and hours and hours and having countless discussions with my wife about it, we came to an agreement. The bottom line though, is that if he feels like the 12 hour days and weekends are necessary to keep his family going, then you need to give him a little space and maybe talk about having a set time, once a month or so to spend time together. If he can't agree to take you out at least once a month, then the problem may be deeper than just work.
2006-10-04 03:18:39 · answer #1 · answered by jwb674 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being selfish - I know how you feel I've been there and have come to terms with, you could be a bit more supportive and understanding. My husband works 54 hours a week at one job and he has his own business that comes and goes, the job he just started for his business will last at least three weeks, I do know how you feel and I can honestly say you see your husband more then I see mine. I work first shift and he works first and second, sometimes his second shift runs into third so I'm always in bed when he gets home and we see eachother for about 5 minutes in the A.M. if that some days. When he is doing his business and if it is in the area we try to have lunch together but usually he has his emplyees with him and most often we don't get to have lunch anyway b/c te job are generally out of town.
I know that it is temporary and that the money is well worth it. He doesn't have to work this hard but he does and he has to, he has commitments. I spend my time doing crafts, cleaning and wood working I also have taken up walking for exercise. It will get better and all you can do is sit back and wait for the next change and do the best you can in the mean time. At least you have a child I do not, just my cat and I would be lost without her. I have step children ans grandchildren but we have very little contact. Sorry you miss him and you are loanly but you will get used to it and the time when we do finally get to spend together are a lot of fun and very meaningful, it's true quality time... In your spare time learn parenting skills and/or how to do things different that might help you, put the extra time on your hands to good use...Good luck just remember and know that it is temporary.
2006-10-04 03:58:18 · answer #2 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably ask yourself if you have changed. Furthermore is there a good reason for him to be working so much. Are you having money problems? Another question is do you work. If not he might be growing resentful of working all the time and you are at home. He has disconnected from you but the real issue is why. If it's money issues maybe you could help out with that. Make a budget or get a job. However if that's not it there is something else that is making him not want to be at home. Do some research and objectively look at yourself and the situation. Good Luck!
2006-10-04 03:23:14 · answer #3 · answered by amy d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, You sound a bit selfish, but I understand that you miss what you used to have. Give your man a break, he is probably so tired he can barely function. Hopefully this is only a short term problem and will change when (if) he quits working so much. Clearly if this a long term thing, there is going to have to some adjustments - llike you easing off him, and him not working so much. You both have much to lose. BTW do you work...if not get a job, maybe you will be a bit more sympathetic.
2006-10-04 05:52:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is working because he is tired of dealing with you. Love notes isn't going to do it, you need to change what you are doing that keeps him from coming home. Straighten out your son for one thing. You are going to be alone if you don't change things. When you do he will notice and start being the way he used to be. It won't be easy but it's all up to you...
2006-10-04 03:21:50 · answer #5 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MINE WORKS SAME LONG HOURS-but i like alone time or time with friends-so rather be with him-but it is fun to have both. Plus i shop alot-always helps. as for emails and notes-alot of guys don't like that-i don't call him-only distracts him or makes him mad at times-plus let him chase me-right-same with you-let him find time for you-they will in end, and not just for the sex-but thats better too
2006-10-04 03:31:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should work less ; like 8 hrs a day. By working so many hrs he is actually avoiding you. Do you need so much money to get by that he needs to work so many hrs? Go for counselling.
2006-10-04 05:46:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋