family and i am still here with him and i keep asking my self why but when it comes time to walk out the door i cant i just freeze and think about my kids some serious an decent advice would be greatly appreciated
2006-10-04 02:59:58 · 37 answers · asked by penelope 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That qualifies as statutory rape in 49 of the 50 states, so lets see what happened here...He broke the law, he broke his vows, he dishonored your bed, your family, your home and your trust. Matters of the heart are hard at best and when you have children involved it is even harder. When you think about the kids, just think what they will have to go through when the police show up at the house to arrest daddy because he is having sex with a minor?
2006-10-04 03:09:58 · answer #1 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off why the hell are you out there making the living. Is your hubby a deadbeat ? You need to tell him he has a choice, either get out and get a GOOD job or move on. You can always work things out about the 2 affairs. Ask him what he would have done if he would have came home from work and found out that you had 2 affairs with the 17 yr. old boy that mowed your yard.
2006-10-04 03:12:32 · answer #2 · answered by rookie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey yes you alway's think about your kid's but you also have to think about yourself, and if you aren't alright and happy how can you possibly take care of your kid's. Don't put it on the kid's you're still there cause you love that man enough to accept the B.S. he's giving you. YOU deserve better and don't ever love a man more then you love yourself!!!! Believe it or not that's what's happening and that's the only reason you are still there because if that man is a real man then he'll take care of his kid's no matter what you two don't have to be together for him to do that. Please don't wait around and learn the hard way that A MAN WILL USE YOUR LOVE FOR HIM AGAINST YOU EVERY TIME!!!!!! AND IF HE'S CHEATED ONCE SWEETHEART DO I HAVE TO SAY THE REST???!!!!!!!!! GIRL KICK THAT DIRT OFF YOUR SHOE AND KEEP STEPPING WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH.
2006-10-04 03:13:17 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. Bossy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your "husband" has broken the law. He has committed statuatory rape with this 17 year old. Not only that, why is he not at work? Why are you paying for a babysitter when he is at home? I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. He will do this again. If you are worried about supporting the kids and yourself then don't. If you are the only one working now, you'll have one less person to support. It's hard to believe that he had the nerve to do this WITH YOUR CHILDREN THERE!!!!! He has no respect for you or them. LEAVE!!!! By staying, you are teaching your children especially if they are boys that it is okay to treat your wife like this and that this is normal behavior. If they are girls, you are teaching them that it is okay for someone to cheat, lie and be disrespectful to them. If you stay, your children will live what they have seen happen in the home. I would be worried that this would affect them for the rest of their lives. Get out while you can. There is plenty of help out there.
Treat yourself and the kids with respect and kick this criminal to the curve!!!!!
2006-10-04 03:12:26 · answer #4 · answered by country girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walking out is the hardest part. If this is really something you can't get over & you know you have to leave then prepare for it. It doesn't have to be a dramatic scene where you scream & yell & walk out the door. Make arrangements on where you're gonna live, what you're going to do about the kids, money, etc. If you have a plan you will feel stronger & the transition will be easier.
Best of luck
2006-10-04 03:08:33 · answer #5 · answered by Annabelle418 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old your kids are, but the inevitable will happen. I stayed with my cheating spouse for 7 years for the kids sake. I could have found the love of my life 7 years ago instead of last year. You need to do whats best for you. I had daughters and I didn't want then growing up thinking what I had was the best they could do. Now in this relationship I can show them what love is and how they should be treated.
And isn't that stautory rape what your hubby did?
2006-10-04 03:03:55 · answer #6 · answered by Liz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your kids and leave. Why is he not working? It aint your place to suport him. And for the cheeting with the babysitter, He will do it again. If you have any respect for yourself then you would not put up with this.How long has this took place? Time doesent stand still, Get out while you still have a chance. Things like this could leed to something more serious. Such asa abuce. You deserve better for you and the kids.
2006-10-04 03:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by mswildman2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your staying in an unhappy marriage because of the kids? Don't you think the kids can sense that you and their dad are not getting along? Kids are smarter than we think.
You cant raise happy children if you and your husband is not happy, so the best thing to do is leave for THEIR sake. You can leave and still have a decent relationship with him. Your husband has no respect for you or his kids really, if he could sleep with a 17 year.
Don't compromise your happiness or the sanity of your kids. Leave.
2006-10-04 03:04:03 · answer #8 · answered by Melia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, men are dogs and just the worse, but it really boils down to SEX!! That is a man's weakness, dunno why, but it is. He is very immature for doing this and the betrayal is just devistating. With him, sit down and talk, tell him how you feel; ask him all the questions you need to know about the affair. Far as the babysitter, it's done. Cut her out of your life totally, She is a little tramp and know better. Yes she is young, but she is old enough to know right from wrong.
wanting to leave but can't: prepare yourself to be independent. Don't make any serious decisions right now because you are TOO emotional. I know this hurts like hell; you feel like the thought of them will never leave your mind. From experience of a married womans club, don't let 2 minutes of pleasure for them ruin the lifetime devotion to God. He will be punished in the worse way possible....by God; Do your part forgive and work on your marriage. Make this affair bring out the best in your husband. Don't let him off easy either, hang in there and start doing for you!! Get some couseling for you....then go with him. When you have kids involved, that makes it even harder because you feel like kicking him out, is the easy way out for him and you will still be unhappy. If you still love him, which I'm sure you do, then pray and God will continue to give you the strength you need to get through this. email me if you need a shoulder to cry on. We wives must stick together!! Like snowflakes as one we just melt away, but as a team we can stop traffic or close a city/state down. God Bless
2006-10-04 03:12:26 · answer #9 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have forgiven him he may do it again. At 17 year old the girl is underage and he could be imprisoned for statutory rape. As for the kids if this problem has the two of you yelling or not setting a good example for the kids they may be better off with you too seperate. Your kids will see how the two of you interact and then emulate that interaction in their own relationship/
2006-10-04 03:04:24 · answer #10 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋