for "newer" mommies?

Question

Do you guys ever feel like you've "lost" yourselves? Don't get me worng I LOVE my son and i'm so greatful for him but i feel like i'm going crazy... i feel like ive lost myself and sometimes i feel like i want to do something terrible (not hurt him physically) but like just "runaway". I would never do it but it just pops in my head... Please don't judge me I just want to know if it's normal or if I should ask my doctor about post partem depression... I feel guilty about these things but I do love my son so much that I just don't understand this...

Answer 1

You are normal. I had a hard time getting emotionally connected with reality as well. I went from a fulltime student/worker with friends, parties, shopping, 2 am coffee shops, extra sleep when I felt like it, to a full time mommy and wife. It's an overwhelming change and it took me awhile to reconnect with myself. My son is 9 months and it's only been the last few months that I have relaxed and incorporated myself with my life. I want you to relax, talk to a counselor if you think it will help, discover some activities you would like that you can tag along your little one(he/she doesn't care what you guys do during the day as long as they have thier mommies) an know that things will get better and you do not have to be ashamed of how you feel. I felt it and when I finally relaxed my emotions my whole perspective changed for the better. You are welcome to email me at anytime(I am only 24 yrs old...so I'm young and new at mommyhood). Good luck and I commend you on admitting your feelings to get some feedback-that's the first step in coming to terms with motherhood, good job.

Answer 2

It is normal, you are probably just feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Having a new baby is very stressful, especially if you are not used taking care of kids. I was an only child and never did any babysitting when I was younger, and had no idea about how to take care of this child. It was scary for a while. I loved my daughter but some days I wondered if I made a terrible mistake. The feelings went away after a month or so after I got used to taking care of her. My daughter is now 2 and occasionally I still think about running away (most days she is so good, but some days she is a real stinker). Well maybe not litterally, but some days I am very happy to see dad walk in the door so he can deal with it for a while. You did not say how old your baby is, but if you are seriously having strange feelings that you cant seem to get over or talk yourself out of, maybe you are one of the many who need to be treated for post partum depression. Talk about what you are going through with your husband or family members. Maybe you just need a little extra support. If no one knows how you feel then they probalby think everything is ok.

Answer 3

You have what I call "cabin fever". You are doing all day long for baby. I too had that feeling with my first son and here is what I did. When the baby is sleeping, try to get sleep yourself. I also would take a soothing bath with candles. Another idea is to find a baby sitter for just 2 to 3 hours and go out to the mall and "get away" and see how the world is running without you. It is a normal feeling honey and in fact could very well be post partum depression. Please do NOT feel guilty about how you are feeling, this is all new to you and it is understandable. You MUST make time for YOU hun, read a good book, sit out in the sun, get away from the house and you will find that you will feel much, much better. Good Luck hun :)

Answer 4

I have a 10 month old, and I love her very much and shes a GREAT baby. I got lucky with her, and I admit it. But even to this day, evry once in a while I still kind of get that. I take it as a sign that I do need to go. Go out for a couple drinks, go out and buy myself something pretty, go out and do anything WITHOUT the baby. Its hard, I know that, especially when they are still really little, but start with a half hour and work your way up.
Actually what really works for me, is actually going shopping and buying my baby something cute, just being able to take my time to compare and decide on just ONE outfit works wonders for me. And doing that, you can actually think about your baby and not feel bad, where if you go out somewhere with some friends or something and it turns into a big drag because all you can do is think about baby. So try it, whats the worst it can do. But I did go through that and I still kind of am, but I love my baby and would NEVER ever hurt her or leave her or anything like that, but this is what worked for me and I think it is kind of a normal thing.

Answer 5

I am a brand new mom to a 5 week old. While these types of thoughts can be a sign of Post partum Depression (PPD), it is most likely that you are still dealing with LOTS of hormones, and this can have a huge affect on your mood and emotions. I think that it is normal, and I also think that it would be a good idea to talk about it with your doctor. If your thoughts get worse, then he/she may be able to help. You should also talk with your support group: partner/family/friends so that they know where you stand with your emotions & feelings. Chances are, they can help as well. And you could be feeling this way due to being over whelmed with all of the responsibilities of being a new mom. Wish you the best of luck & congrats on your new baby.

Answer 6

I just had my second child 6 weeks ago. I do feel like I am in chaos frequently. I am constantly cleaning (I have an in-home daycare with 4 kids in addition to my own two) and feeding and it can be overwhelming at times. I don't however, feel like running away or anything of the sort. I think if you are feeling these things you should probably talk to your Dr. It's OK to feel sad sometimes but if it is consuming your thoughts there is a problem and it is best to get help before anything happens. I hope you start feeling better soon!!!

Answer 7

I have two small children (3 and 1). I never felt that way, but I hear it is common. I think it would be good for you to speak with your doctor about it if it continues because it may be post partum, however it could also just be a new mother being overwhelmed and needing a break. A lot of people shrug being a stay at home mom off as not really being hard work, but it really is and it might be this that is causing your feelings. Again, speak with your doctor about it and see if it is something he/she thinks should be evaluated.

Answer 8

I felt that way a little. Usually after a couple days without sleep in the first couple months. If you think you have post partum depression you need to talk to a doctor as soon as possible because if he/she gives you an antidepressant it will take a few weeks for it to get in your system & start working properly.
Because of my history with depression they started me back on my antidepressant the morning after my son was born.
But, the way you're feeling could also be from just being tired. Are you getting much sleep?
Good luck.

Answer 9

If you feel like that all the time then you should talk to your doctor about post-partum depression if it's only some of the time it could be that you just aren't getting enough sleep. If it's the lack of sleep try to get someone to watch the baby for a few hours every once in a while so you can get a nap or sleep in.

Answer 10

Sounds like PPD to me. You could talk to your doctor if you think it's serious or you want help. I went through a mild case without ever talking to my doc. My advice: Find someone you can talk to, a friend, better yet another mom. Also try a hobby, I like scrapbooking. And take time for yourself, at least once a week leave the baby with hubby/boyfriend, family(grandma/aunt), or babysitter and go out and do something for you. If you don't you go nuts. Good luck my prayers are with you.