I've offered all kinds of advice but he rejects them. I feel like im living alone, what should i do? we've been married for 15 years but im so emotionally needy all the time. Help!!
2006-10-04 02:35:51 · 11 answers · asked by curleyQ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's on meds for depression, but he also has some medical problems with his lungs, He wont quit smoking, he's 100 lbs. over weight, he has been at the same job for 18 years, hes been to counseling, etc.. I ve tried to encourage him, talk to him, love him, hold him. Im drained!!
2006-10-04 02:46:26 · update #1
If he's been feeling this way for 6 months or more he needs professional help. A good phycologist is paramount. Having battled depression myself I know how hard it is for the spouse in all this. try and speak with him. Don't pressure him though just open the door for him and if he's upto it he'll start telling you what wrong.
I would recommend staying away from anti-depressants as a first defense. I have been taking an amino acid called dl-phenylalanine and it's been way more effective than any anti-depressant I ever took.
Heck if he wasn't he can email me and I give him help in whatever way I can.
If he's really depressed you'll have to be patient with him. I know it's hard but pressuring him will only make him retreat even further away.
Best of luck to you.
Elio
2006-10-04 02:42:59 · answer #1 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
13 years for me. Recently I have been to the doctor and got some meds for this. Being a guy I felt that my wife, kids and everyone around me were closing me out. I felt useless around the house and at work. I pushed my wife away from me, she did not know how I felt and she became distant herself. WOW what a mess, it was a vicious cycle. I went on Welbutrin and things got much better. My wife and I reconnected and I love it. I have not seen anyone about this so I am not sure why I became depressed but it went on for a long time. I think maybe one of the reasons was the "dead" relationship I had with my wife, that will suck the wind out of any ones sails. Try to get him to see a doctor, I know it is not easy for a guy to admit depression but my wife made the appointment for me and that was so much essayer. Just stay confident things will get better, show him that you love him and how this makes you feel and how much better thing would be if he is not depressed and you will be just fine.
If you want more details just email me.
2006-10-04 09:53:51 · answer #2 · answered by Andy S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was he in the war?
Did he loose someone recently?
Has he lost his job...or did not get a promotion but someone else did?
I need more info before I can even try and help.
Ok, thanks for the additional info. Miss this has been going on too long. Smoking...100lbs overweight, and has already been to counseling!
Time to think and care about yourself, it is clear with the info you provided he doesn't care about himself.
2006-10-04 09:38:32 · answer #3 · answered by Fitforlife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
congrats on the 15 years, maybe you should try to do some of the things that brought the 2 of you together, recreate a memorable date or something.
2006-10-04 09:39:54 · answer #4 · answered by blondie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop giving him advice he doesn't want. Leave him alone and focus on yourself. Stop using the internet for emotional stability and get out of the house. He could be depressed because of who you are. Help yourself and you will help him.
2006-10-04 09:47:37 · answer #5 · answered by Robin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there,, he NEEDS to get to the Doctor for some antidepressants,, I Promise a month or so he will feel so much better if he goes,
2006-10-04 09:39:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him to a doctor and get medication so he can have his life back. Depression is bad, and it needs to be treated.
2006-10-04 09:38:24 · answer #7 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe you can start talking to him and not get him any help. Maybe he feels that he not getting enough from you. Take time and ask questions.
2006-10-04 09:42:16 · answer #8 · answered by Shalla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered counseling? If you don't get him to talk, you'll never be free of it. Do whatever it takes.
2006-10-04 09:39:32 · answer #9 · answered by Brad Beerdrinker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww that's justt sad. Pehaps you could start dating again.
Make him jealous.
Yeah. It works all the time.
You came to the right place honey.
2006-10-04 09:38:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋