i may have a baby with my affair. pls help me?
2006-10-04 02:26:51 · 37 answers · asked by Natalie G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why a had an affair is because my husband is too childish and my boyfriend is a gentlemen. I love my husband very much and my boyfriend is married too. Help me too know whose the father is not to look down on people.
2006-10-04 02:41:11 · update #1
help you??? Help you what fess up to your spouse??? You got yourself into this mess. Do u even know who the father is?
2006-10-04 02:31:21 · answer #1 · answered by R C 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm sure your already kicking yourself so there is no need for members to kick you also. First and foremost you need to sit down with your husband and tell him the truth, not only are you possibly pregnant but you also put him at risk for disease. Take full responsibility for pain and hurt that you have caused. Don't attempt to justify your actions in any way. Understand that he will be hurt and angry and that it maybe the end of your marriage. Second, if you are unsure that this baby might be your husband's then have a paternity test once the baby is born so that there will never be any doubts in your husband's mind if he is the father, don't allow him to fall in love with a child that may someday be snatched from him. Third, if you haven't end the relationship with your affair and seek counseling, find out why you needed to break the vow of trust and honor in your marriage. Search deep within yourself for the answer. And last but not least forgive yourself. You are human and you made a mistake. Learn from your mistake and make yourself a better person. Be a positive role model to your child. I never had an affair but was married for 16 years to a man who cheated and lied throughout the marriage. Honor and respect are major parts of a marriage and you've broken both, allow this to make you a stronger person and learn from the experience. If it comes down to you raising the child on your own, you can do it. Many women raise children on their own and do a fine job of it, allow the father to be an active part of his child's life. Your child doesn't need to know the reason behind his/her birth, just that she is loved by both her parents.
2006-10-04 02:42:08 · answer #2 · answered by ladyluvsjr8 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Affairs happen for a reason. Your husband deserves to know what made you stray. You need to sit him down and explain to him what your circumstances are. You also need to have a mediator (family member, friend) available in the event he loses control. (which will more than likely happen) People here are assuming that men don't or shouldn't raise other peoples children. It happens all the time. It's going to go 1 of 2 ways for you. Either he forgives you and you both learn from this or he runs. I don't think this makes you a whore in the least bit, and for someone to come on here and degrade you for asking a serious question... well it's disturbing and could quite possibly deter someone else from asking or reaching out for help. Your mind is probably bombarded with "what ifs" right now. Collect your thoughts together, inform both parties that you are pregnant (if indeed you are) and try to come to some conclusion on what your next move is. I wouldn't want to be in your situation but I can assure you that it will work out whichever route is taken. You are blessed with a child. Good luck.
2006-10-04 03:07:53 · answer #3 · answered by sneakyfker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you suggest that we help you now? What are your options?
You made a very grievous error with great consequences. I wish I could help you but I have no idea how. I wish you luck and if you use prayer in your life at all, now might be a good time to do some.
Peace.
To others answering this question, the woman made a mistake, do you really need to abuse her is this manner? She asked for help and you are "kicking" her, ease up. I KNOW no one here is without "sin", so stop with the stone throwing already.
Peace.
2006-10-04 02:37:53 · answer #4 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Help you? Sweetheart you only have three options none of which are what you want to hear. Clearly you don't love your husband so don't make him raise a child you had with another man. Either have the courage to leave him and have the baby or... don't have the baby and get some serious counseling!
2006-10-04 02:34:22 · answer #5 · answered by Robin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you shouldnt have done this!!!!!! Second of all you need to talk with the man that you had an affair with, tell him you might have a baby... See what he thinks...( Incase your husband leaves you.) Then tell you hubby... Lord knows its going to hurt him... But you did it and you have to take responibality if even you dont want to. Tell him you wanna work thru it and your scared and most of all sorry. GOod luck hope I could help you.
2006-10-04 02:32:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off How you you have unprotected sex with someone you had an affair with?
2nd how on earth cna you even think of having an affair?
3rdly you need to be open and honest with your hubby. At this time I would not mention the fact that it might not be his. But I would have a paternity test done after to see whos it is.
Smarten up
2006-10-04 02:31:42 · answer #7 · answered by Mike 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well your better off getting it out now, talk to your husband and stuff will suck for a while but if he loves you which he obviously must because he married you, he'll find it in his heart to forgive you. In the end you will be glad that you got it out because a kid is a physical lie and the longer you wait and the more your husband thinks he is the father before he finds out he is gonna to be hurt worse!! Get a paternity test and find out before it gets out of hand!!
2006-10-04 02:33:44 · answer #8 · answered by Sandra 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a very special thing you knew what you were getting into. You say he is childish, didn't you know that before the Vows..... You need to tell the truth to your husband and your friends wife.....
2006-10-04 03:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy I'd hate to be in your shoes.
I would leave your husband because he has no business raising someone else's kid. Hopefully the putz that that's kid real father will live up to his responsibilities.
Sorry I'm really short on sympathy when it comes to cheaters and wife beaters. the only synpathy I have is for your kid. I hope life will see that he/she is well taken care of.
2006-10-04 02:33:55 · answer #10 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People like you are exactly why there is such a high divorce rate. You should have should have left your husband before you went sleeping around on him. You obviously do not love him. As far the unborn child you need to do what is in the best interest of the child because lord knows it's not he/she's fault they were conceived in such a deceitful way. Good luck!!
2006-10-04 02:45:24 · answer #11 · answered by Right_Stuff66 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋