She does not call but just shows up and has been asked over and over but this does not work. She is not welcome but ignores her boundaries. We are not allowed on her property but she comes up and even in when the opportunity has happened ( I didn't get to the door fast enough and the kids opened). Can't leave teens in house alone because of her invasion. What's a new wife to do?
2006-10-04 02:18:07 · 31 answers · asked by MotherNature 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is something hubby should deal with, telling her in no uncertain terms that she is not to come over uninvited and never to just walk in, he should tell her he will get a restraining order if he has to. You should let hubby know that you are not gonna put up with it.
2006-10-04 02:21:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't have an X but, I did have a situation with an unwanted woman coming to my home. She had been told repeatedly not to call or come to our home.
We began contacting the local police dept. to let them know of the problem.
By the 3rd week she decided to come over and pound on our door. Then the idiot took it in her head to contact the sheriff's dept because we wouldn't open "OUR" door.
In the meantime, we called the city police. They dispatched officers and we pressed charges against her for trespassing.
They gave her an official warning not to return or she would be placed in handcuffs and charged with criminal tresspass.
We made sure that the police were aware that we perceived her unwanted presence as a threat.
Our next step was to get a restraining order however she never returned.
What motivated all of this is she was an abusive mother of a 17 year old girl who we are sheltering and providing a safe home.
We were apprehensive given the fact that she had a child here but we wanted to protect the girl first and foremost. In the end, this young lady is blossoming and making straight A's in the toughest courses you can think of.
Anyway, you are absolutely correct to feel the way you do. Call the police, make reports about you not feeling safe to leave the children at home because of her unwanted visits etc...
If she is coming to see them then she will have to pre-arrange an area for you or your husband to drop the children off at as a pick up point.
You must take action to stop this or prepare yourself for years of intrusion. Good Luck!
2006-10-04 02:59:01 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in your awkward and difficult position for a few years with my ex. First, I'm wondering why its such a problem for her to arrive unnounced. Aren't you expecting her to arrive that day to pickup the kids? (assuming they live with her) If she picks them up, be happy...... my ex's ex never did that. If we didn't get the kids home at the exact time, we were blasted. The only thing you can do is ask her to call before she comes over. It is common courtesy to do so. Friends and familiy usually do -- right? You don't say why she isn't welcome. If her kids are there, she wants to check on things, however, after she knows the kids are safe with you, she shouldn't need to pop in. A talk is the best way but not a sure thing. This might be a thorn in your side for years to come. Sorry.
2006-10-04 02:28:10 · answer #3 · answered by farahwonderland2005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to explain to her (again) that you do not want nor appreciate her coming unannounced. She can call and see if it is okay for her to come over or she needs to wait until she is invited. Tell her if she continues to ignore your request you will place an order against her and she will not be allowed on your property. I am assuming she is coming over because she has children with her ex. If this is the case have your husband to speak with her about a mutual time/place outside of your home to exchange the children. If she does not agree have him to contact his lawyer who handled the divorce and have the "children exchange" made valid through the courts.
2006-10-04 02:25:25 · answer #4 · answered by mvngs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol welcome to the wonderful world of being the 2nd wife.. lol i too am a 2nd wife.. isnt it fun *sigh* .. My husbands x wife.. i tried so hard to be nice to her, to be beyond civil with her and all she did was walk all over me like a door mat, she not only would come over unannounced but she would walk into my house with out being invited in.. my husband told her, not to come in the house without an invite and she said ok, but the next time he wasnt there and i was alone she just walked right into the house.. so "I" asked her to please step outside for a moment.. (while the kids were inside) and i said " didnt Joe tell you not to walk into the house unless ur invited?" she said no.. I said "i know he did cause i was standing right inside the door when he did it".. of course she studdered alittle when she knew she had be caught.. " i said nonetheless, u have warn out ur welcome in "MY" house by just walking in, and from now on ur not to walk into "MY" house unless your invited.. OK?" she said Ok.. and boy is she mad.. but she's never done it since.. So maybe if u stand up to her.. doesnt mean raising ur voice just be firm with her that this is your house and your rules.. if she keeps doing it.. even after dont answer the door when she comes over..and call the police.. get her for trespassing and harrassment.. ..
2006-10-04 02:36:09 · answer #5 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a sticky situation. If you pay attention to her, as in getting angry with her, you are sure to arouse her attention seeking even further.
What is she doing when she comes to your house? Or what is she capable of doing? Violence can be dealt with legally but if she is just a general nuisance I would say "Oh, my, you caught us on our way out the door, we'll visit later." If she refuses to leave, again this is a police matter. But I would be very firm in whatever I said to her as in "You are not welcome to "drop" by unannounced, you NEED to call first. If you don't you will not be invited in." And then do it, don't make any "threat" you are not willing to carry out.
And is this the mother of the teens you mentioned? I would choose my words very carefully in front of them, or any children for that matter. How you handle this situation will be "teaching" them.
So center yourself, take a deep breath and stand your ground. This is your house, not hers and he is your husband.
I wish you luck.
Peace.
2006-10-04 02:55:39 · answer #6 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she's trespassing and that repeated uninvited appearances on your property constitute stalking and then inform her you'll call the cops.
Now if she has children with your husband and the kids who opened the door for her are HER kids. Then you're just out of luck girl! Sorry.
2006-10-04 02:22:45 · answer #7 · answered by jhvnmt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-01 22:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a talk with your children about who answers the door, install a lock to where they can't reach. Consider a serious discussion with the X and your husband and explain the boundaries. (yet again)
2006-10-04 02:20:20 · answer #9 · answered by shae 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get everything in writing thru the courts if its not already done. She only has rights on her visitation hours and days. other than that you can call the police for her harrassment. just have the court papers in hand, and the children in the other room. protect their feelings at all cost! I went thru the no boundary problem for 18 years, now my daughter is grown, Thank God!!
2006-10-04 02:41:22 · answer #10 · answered by curleyQ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋