Just entering a houseshare with three people who have lived with each other for the past 6 months so i'm the 'newbie'! I'm as shy as hell when I first meet people and don't wanna freeze up anyone got any advice or suggestions of how how to relax and be myself???
2006-10-04 01:43:56 · 28 answers · asked by 0000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Ok so far so good thank you for your answers... Think I should be upfront and honest from the start and just explain i've not done this before... better than trying to be buddy i think..
2006-10-04 01:59:29 · update #1
"peaceful coexistence" sounds like something out of star trek but your right! ... Your answers have really helped thankyou very much...
2006-10-04 02:26:45 · update #2
Be honest, be yourself. Tell them just what you have said here. Lay low, don't take sides. I suspect since there are three of them, they sometimes wind up in a two/one dispute over something. Don't take sides with anyone. Find neutral ways of acknowledging you have heard someone's complaint about someone else, without indication of what side you are taking.
Don't take anyone else's food, play fair, pick up your things from common areas. Do something nice for each one, at least once a week, preferably without them knowing it, or who did it. Take phone messages and transmit them promptly.
General courtesy is the rule.
2006-10-04 01:50:30 · answer #1 · answered by finaldx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have lived in a few share accomodations - the most being 9 people in one house - in the 6 or so months I lived there a number of people left and new people moved in it was the owners way of making his house repayments... anyway the best thing to do is move in - sit back a little and get a feel for how these people go about their daily lives - do they tend to do things together or seperately etc try to be considerate of the others eg keep the music down, clean up after yourself in the kitchen and bathroom etc always remember that you can always retreat into your room and close the door when ever you want and in fact this room will probably be your haven when you dont feel like mixing with others but try to also remain social - one of the couples that lived in this house I was in were a Chinese couple - they were students who had come to Australia to study - they didnt speak much English so when ever they were home they pretty much lived in their bedroom only - we still liked them but didnt really know them. Get yourself a TV to put in your room if you dont have one (important for when you really want to watch something but the others dont) as for your shyness - dont worry about it - they will be aware that it will take you a little time to adjust to everything and lets face it you probably werent the only person they saw when looking for a new flatmate and you obviously made a good impression and they feel you will fit into the dinamics of the household :)
2006-10-04 01:52:40 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Kazz♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The others in the house were in the same position once themselves and so should be quite accommodating to you. I would start by offering to make a coffee for whoever is in the lounge and then come and sit there, making some banal comment about the tv programme on or the music or something and take it from there.
Always do your own washing up, clean the bath out after you, empty your own ashtray, buy your own food and never use their stuff without asking first, that's so annoying!
You'll be fine, I'm sure. Then remember what it was like for you when someone else moves in!
2006-10-04 01:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have been together for a while, so they would understand each other a little better, which does not necessarily mean that they all get on. Just get in there and try and be yourself; don't pretend or try and impress and don't try and get clicky with anyone. Allow things to happen naturally. As long as you are tolarant, tidy, don't gossip, don't talk about yourself and what you do all the time, you will be well recieved. As for being shy, it's expected, you will get over it after a while.
2006-10-04 01:53:36 · answer #4 · answered by joechuksy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you cannot change who you are. Everyone in a househould has a function and too many loud people certainly would suck. I think you should be you. You should be generous but maintain your own indedpendance including your space. Any boundries you don't set up in the beginning will be impossible to place later with your property and your space......but don't be unkind or greedy.....it is necessary to treat others you live with as they are family I think. You should smile more than you normally would and that will welcome others toward you even if you don't say much. You can put out a good vibe with just a smile. Sounds corny but it works.
2006-10-04 01:48:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
Just do your best to stay chilled and friendly. When you move in maybe bring some wine/beers etc or cook a nice meal for everyone so you can get to know them. Be interested in them all, ask about fave music, do they go out together much.. all that sort of thing.
I moved into uni halls with five people I didnt know. Seemed a bit awkward at first but doesnt take long to get to know everyone.
2006-10-04 01:48:51 · answer #6 · answered by DemonicaB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the effort to be friendly. Remember, they don't know you, they don't know you're shy so this is your chance to break the mould of being shy. The best advice I can give you is ALWAYS say what's on your mind when it comes to your house. If you've a problem with someone not cleaning, taking out the rubbish, playing their music too loud...Don't bottle it up and certainly don't talk to one housemate about another behind their back. You don't know if that person will end up snitching on you. Be friendly but not best mates...Good luck!
2006-10-04 01:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by yes darling 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not bring a few cans of beer or a bottle of wine and invite them to have a drink with you! It'll create a relaxed atmosphere and they'll appreciate the fact that you made an effort to get to know them.
you'll feel like youve lived all your life there in no time! Hope it works out for you! xx
2006-10-04 01:59:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a place to go outside of your house sometimes, library, cinema, other friends etc. Sharing house is great but you need your own space, and hanging in the house the whole time can put everyone on edge. I have a friend who shares a house with someone and the other person NEVER leaves for a minute. If you live on your own, who cares if you never leave, but if you are sharing it is nice to mix it up a bit...for everybody.
2006-10-04 01:49:39 · answer #9 · answered by Mister Curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself, dont try and be too nice and try to please people all the time cause theyll see through it and think you are a false person.
If you dont like the personality of any of them just be polite but dont get involved in there life. You are only sharing a house and as long as you pay your share and do some cleaning you should be free to live as you want. Good luck.
2006-10-04 01:54:23 · answer #10 · answered by jean m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋