How do you raise a kid?

Question

This is a topic i have debated about in my head for a long time, and I don't even have kids yet. But, I always think about what I would do when it came to raising kids in the future.

Like here is an example that is tough for parents to deal with

Drugsand alcohol...

If you take a pretty tough stand on saying No, don't do it. Then kids will feel they can't talk to you, and also they might rebel against you. You all the sudden become the bad guy. Plus, if they are drunk at a party even if you say to call, they don't want to get in trouble so they put theirself in bad situations.

But, at the same time, if you encourage it then you are looked at as a bad parent. But, if you let them do it at home or something, atleast you are there and know they are at home safe. And if you act like its not a big deal then they are more apt to talk to you about things and avoid maybe fatal accidents. But, at the same time, would they might have no done it if you wouldnt have encouraged it?

Answer 1

One of the most difficult things for parents to accept is that they do not control their children's actions, and can never control them. The best any parent can do is offer their children a good upbringing in a stable and loving environment, and trust that their relationship with their children is strong enough so that their opinion will matter to their children. However, most parents start too late. They think that when their children are teens they can suddenly demand respect and obedience when things don't go the way they want. This usually ends up in heated and unproductive arguments and further breaks down an already unstable relationship. Parents have to start early and teach their children BY EXAMPLE how to cope with life's demands.

Answer 2

I've raised two boys and am a grandmother. I don't think there's anything wrong if the kids are being supervised and other parents give permission. In countries all over the world alcohol (for instance) is accepted and legal for younger ages. I would not want my child to be an alcoholic but I also know that kids DO NOT and CAN NOT know their own limitations (hence, alcohol poisoning). If they have supervision of a responsible person, then the chances are -- their keys will be taken away first, the rules -- no one leaves until the next day. I KNOW that kids are going to go out and "party" regardless of whether you say no or not. My kids have always been able to talk to me. As far as drugs go, what kind of drugs are you talking about? No, I would not condone the use of them. Too many are highly addictive from the first time you use them. This I know for a fact (not all but some so you'd need to be more specific).

Answer 3

I have thought about these things also, I'm not a parent either.(yet)

I think parents should be as open as possible with their children, and instead of saying "No", they should explain why is it a "No", and to talk about things, so that children can understand.
I am worried of the effect of friends on my future children, because when they arrive at the age of 13--16 they usually listen to each other and don't listen to their parents.

I think about how to keep them from smoking. I remember my mom smoking when I was at the age of 13-14, and I asked her, if I could try it too. She said "go on, try it", and she gave me a cigarette. I remember I didn't like it at all. And neither do I like it today. I'm not a smoker. But who knows? If she had told me not to try, maybe I would have tried it in secret, just to do the opposit of what she wanted.

So I believe the answer is an open relationship, in which children can feel, that they can ask everything without being ashamed,
and where parents are their friends in some way.

Answer 4

Being a good parent isn't always doing the fun or popular thing. Staying strong in your convictions and being understanding has always worked for me. I have 3 FINE adult children and 1 Still at home. No problems with any of that.

Answer 5

Relax. You have years before you are faced with those questions. If you bring up your children knowing right from wrong, even if they stray away on occasion, they will always come back to doing the right things. There are times in children's life they are going to rebel and do everything their parents told them not to do just to experiment. This too shall pass. If not, track them down and beat them.

Answer 6

Well, the bottom line is that there is no set rules for raising children. Each one is different. Each will require different tactics. Also, they will have genes from mother and father to give you a clue as to their personalities. At the time of motherhood, you seem to be given extra instincts as to the job needed to be done. Also, you need to wait about 13 years before they reach their teen years. Please don't spend much time worrying about it. Things will be fine. Good Luck

Answer 7

Bottom line. Always be honest & consistant with your kids. If you're consistant in love and support... then they'll feel easier in coming to you when things go wrong. Say no to drugs. Be there if they need your support. Kids need disipline & boundaries... but if they break them.... they can still come to you.

The lessons you're teaching go way beyond experitmentation with drugs. Honesty, commitment to right (vs. wrong). Consequences for bad behavior. You can never be faulted by doing the "right thing"... in the long run.

Answer 8

The hardest job in the world.

I think you need to be consistant, loving, honest and firm.

I think I'm so very lucky to have two adult sons who are extremely anti drugs particularly when the area I come from has a huge problem.

Answer 9

I thinks u should see people have experience in this way not ask it on yahoo answers

Answer 10

you know what??give them freedom but let them know their limitations...let them go to parties but w/a friend or set a curfew...but this is the best advice...dont sneak out when your going to office dont leave them w/o saying so bec.when they grow up they will become distrustful...its true...i proved it...