i used to know this woman who i never really liked. just recently she moved into my area temporaly. not long after i got a phone call at 3am from my local police station asking me if i could look after her kids as she had been arrested. i could not as i dont have the space for three children. since then she keeps sending her kids round to ask me to lend her money, which i do not.yesterday she phoned to say she will be living in my area permamently as she been given a council house then last night there was a knock on the door at 11pm it was her son asking if they could all four sleep on living room floor.I said no as i knew i would never get rid of her. i dont want to move as my son is very settled in school. i am worried that her son who smokes will target my child as the only boy he knows in the area. I dont want to be to blunt with her as i feel she will cause alot of trouble for me and my kids. what can i do i have a good reputation at the moment in the area i live.
2006-10-04 00:52:35 · 17 answers · asked by ms sensible 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
to amber.
i di indeed feel very guilty about turning her kids away but not for long as i realised that i am not to blame for her neglect. i feel if i keep helping her it will end in a very messy situation. i have 2 children of my own and i really dont want them exposed to this kind of thing.
2006-10-04 01:06:05 · update #1
when she got arrested she phoned me the next day and she was very upset that she nearly lost her kids (they were given straight back after her release) and she swore to stop drinking. i did try to help by telling her what i would which was stop drinking full stop and concentrate on her kids i also told her that my polocies for staying out of trouble is to not have much to do with any one else. i wish i had the energy to help her more but everytime im near her she swears and screams and i find it totally unbearable. i find that the nicer i try to be the more she trys to take the ****
2006-10-04 01:29:58 · update #2
Get in touch with A.A and they can give you some good sugestions, its an illness and she needs help
2006-10-04 06:51:39 · answer #1 · answered by kildarababe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to stop sending her kids to your house and tell her not to contact you or your family again or you will either call the law on her or sue for harrasment. I understand some peoples thoughts about you turning away her kids but THEY probably don't know that you can be opening up a can of worms you can't get rid of and like you said you have your own to worry about. Hopefully she has family she contact to help her out.
2006-10-04 08:11:40 · answer #2 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cant you try to help? Helping her will help you to get her off your back? Surely sit down and listen to her situation then give her advice on what she could do- then she can go and do it? I feel quite sorry for her, I know she is a pest but Im sure she cant be happy or enjoy sending her kids round to you. She needs help, and it seems no one wants to help her, Im not saying put her and her kids up etc, but maybe you could point her in the right direction for getting help?
2006-10-04 08:19:05 · answer #3 · answered by Georgie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lived with a person who couldn't stop drinking although she wanted to. I feel sorry for these people but for others to say help her!! no, you could try but in the end it will make your life harder. do all of the people who answer you help others, and if in your situation would they turn them away or would they say 'yeah come on in and make yourself at home - drink anyone' The best thing you can do is step back, yes help if you can but try not to get involved. the only person who can help her is herself. all the best Andy
2006-10-04 09:46:51 · answer #4 · answered by Andrew D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've got the idea from the get-go. Just keep saying "No." If you know her kids are being neglected, report her. Do not get involved with this, it's not your mess and you will get entangled in it. But you know that, as I see from your question. "Just don't do it," to paraphrase NIKE. You have your self and son to worry about, nobody forced her to drink, neglect her kids etc.
2006-10-04 08:04:25 · answer #5 · answered by anna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get social services involved as she is neglecting her children then at least she will have to get her act together before she can get them back, n who knows she may turn out an even better person n u could get on fine...
But if it persitits you can get her done for harrasment
2006-10-04 08:03:30 · answer #6 · answered by fernleaof 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not so easy.
But try to minimize time between your son and hers and make it as minute and most sudden as possible.
Take care not to be in more trouble than that. Stay away and close yourself indoors to avoid meeting her.
You'd better be worse than a monster but save your family.
Good luck.
2006-10-04 08:10:44 · answer #7 · answered by Storm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well- you can turn her over to children - youth and families- if ur in usa- or child protective services-maybe they would court order rehab- and get her straightened out- does she have family?/ or are they tired of her stunts?? I'd turn her in- suspect child neglect- ect- being drunk and arrested with children would be considered child endangerment here- they would be taken away- D
2006-10-04 07:59:28 · answer #8 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her no. hire a lawyer to put a restraining order on her and her kids. and call children welfare on her for abandonment of her kids, since that there are always trying to sleep at your house. change your telephone number, make sure that it is unlisted.
2006-10-04 08:05:30 · answer #9 · answered by dmncprkr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah do what Liz says...Get her arrested so it can become everyones problem...And then call childs services on her...If I knew who you were Liz I'd call them on you...Taking Someones children away from them..get real..you callous idiot...mind your own bisiness...Thats whats wrong with ppl today...you see someone is having a hard time and what do u pppl want to do ...make it tougher..refer her to a church or shelter....call child services ...i cant get over that...how would you feel if someone took ur kids away cuz u were going through hard time...think ppl
2006-10-04 08:03:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋