My ex-husband won visitation rights 10 years ago. Has not used them in 7 yrs. Does he have the right to show?

Question

He has had no phone contact either and we have had no idea where he has been living.the child this affect is 10 now. He was only 3 at the time so he doesn't even remember him. He knows he's out there. That's it.

Answer 1

you can re-petition the courts to remove his rights. easy to do given the circumstances. if you are married, I suggest having your hubby file to adopt your son. you can run a legal notice in your hometown newspaper and the newspaper for the last known town of residence for your ex for a period of 60-90 days. That suffices as ample notice for your ex if you cannot locate him. If he does not appeal the notice of intent to adopt within that time frame, he forfeits his voice and representation and then will have no legal rights to so much as call your kid "son".

Answer 2

Unfortunately YES.. unless u can get a court to agree with u other wise, crappy thing about the non-custodial parent, is they can walk away if they choose to do so and come back when ever its convient for them.. although i agree its totally wrong.. but with out a judgement saying he cant, he has the right to see his children.. now something u can do.. and i doubt any judge in the world would hold it against u .. after so long... i would tell ur x that he can see the kids, but that they cant go over night with him atleast at first because of the length in years since he last saw them they are surely going to feel uncomfortable around him at first.. so u should ease the children back into his life.. by meeting at a neutral location and letting him visit with the kids while ur present, atleast for the first few times untill the kids are comfortable with him and if ur x has any kind of brain in his head he would realize thats the best for the kids rather then trying to just jump in where HE left off..

Answer 3

If you wish to suspend his rights to visitation you can go to family court and file a custody modification, on the grounds that he has not abided by the custody arrangement.

If he appears out of no where and claims he wants to see his child, even though he has a court order a police officer can not force you to give your child away unless he has a recent court order directing law enforcement to intervene (he would get this from a family court judge).

Emergency visitation is almost never granted ex-parte (meaning you aren't in court)...so probably don't have to worry about him appearing on your doorstep. However, if he does show for visitation and you do not grant it, he can file in family court for a custody enforcement, claiming that you are denying him access. Either way, if it ends up in the court system it will be a sticky and long dragged out process.

If you decide to modify the custody order, you can pick up the petition at your local family court. It is usually simple to complete on your own with just basic information on you and the children and a synopsis of why it would be in the best interest of the children to change the custody order. You can file for a court appointed attorney, hire your own, or represent yourself. I would not recommend representing yourself if he has an attorney.

Answer 4

Am I understanding you clearly? He is showing up and wanting to resume the parental role after 7 years of absence? Where has he been? Have the children NOT been in contact with him in 7 years? I would really question this dead beat dad's motives for wanting to crawl out of his hole after 7 years and his intent for visitation. You're children should be old enough now to see thru lies. Kids can only be fooled so long and then they get angry!!!!!

I would suggest 3rd party intervention on this visitation issue. Petition the courts to have the visitation modified with a temporary order for supervised visits for at least 6 months to a year!. If he disappeared for 7 yrs he'll do it again!

Answer 5

I would call an attorney. In the mean time you have no idea if this guy is a drug addict or an alcoholic, so I would decline visits and tell him to take you to court. Contact your sons school and let them know that no one is to pick your child up except you and maybe a friend. At this point he could go get your child out of school and run off and it could be very long battle to get him back.
If worse comes to worse get a restraining order to protect you and your child until you can take it to court and prove abandonment.
Good luck

Answer 6

Your ex- husband should begin slowly with the child since he is a stranger. Start with speaking with him and educating him about your son. Then allow regular phone calls and gifts. Also, make sure he discusses his reasons for why he hasn't contacted his son with him as he will wonder if he did something wrong. Be prepared for hostility. A boy that young often feels unwanted and as if there was something wrong with him prior to the dad not having a relationship with him. Allow the Visits with him to be on the child's turf don't immediately allow plans to take him for weekends away from his familiar surroundings. If your son is involved with little league or flag football or soccer ; have the father show up at practices and or games if he lives in the area. Work on establishing trust. The child will suspect that the father will decide to not be around again and may not be open to being hurt. It is very sad that he has missed out on the first 7 years of this young man's life as that is the most crucial of his development. Whatever your ex-husband does it is better for him to have some input now before your son becomes a teen.

As for you I understand your apprehension and even your anger towards a man who was absent for so long in a beautiful child's life. My gut instinct would be to bar him for life from having the privilidge of knowing this child. That however, would be serving only my needs and it is the NEEDS of the CHild that must always come first even when it is difficult.

I have 3 boys myself and one is 10 years old. I can't imagine not having their father helping groom them. That is a monumental task and I applaud you for it.

However, we recently located to an area in which my sons have befriended many young boys from ages 10-17 who don't have fathers in their lives full-time or visitation. It makes a huge difference.

Currently, I have taken in a young teenage girl who came from an abusive home. She has a father who lives only 10 minutes from our location. On several occasions she has reached out to him just to make contact and he was non-responsive. It is heartbreaking. I wish that he would show some interest in his daughter. Just a weekly phone call ; no money or anything. We work very hard with her to help her have confidence in herself and to know that she is worthy and doesn't need to look for attention from boys and men but, we may be too late. For I find that the attention she is seeking is the approval of her father.

Good Luck to you in your decision; I wish you and your son well.

Answer 7

To protect yourself, you should take this matter back to court before he shows up out of nowhere trying to take your child from you. He might not appear, obviously, because you don't know where he is, but as long as you get the judge to reverse that decision, you should be fine. You can also go to your library if they have law books in it, and look up what would happen in this situation. There are tons of books and some are specificly for visitation and child support.

Answer 8

Depends on the laws in your state. However, I would certainly do a free consultation with a family lawyer and see what he says. Or, just call the courthouse. I don't believe he should have a right to show up if he has not used them in that long of a time.

Answer 9

Check with your state laws on that...I know here in Indiana..If a parent has zero contact and doesn't pay child support, they lose their rights after 2 years. My sister went through this and this is what her lawyer told her. The father hasn't seen his son in 8 yrs!

Answer 10

I am not sur eo fthe laws in your state, but you may want to check with your County Attorney and see about having his legal rights terminated.