they are married from 25 years
and every one think the other is crazy (they don't want to see a psychotherapist)
I tried to talk with them but my mom dosen't want to talk
Please help there might be some time, I can help them and keep them together what should I do
2006-10-03 23:38:58 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
when we are young we think our parents marriage is perfect and dream that one day we will live a great love as theirs, so when we get older and start realizing their problems we refuse to accept the truth...it's something like a need of keeping our beliefs and avoiding the fact things aren't always as we'd wish they were...believe me I know how you feel...and if I could I'd support every single effort you'd make to keep them together..but please stop and think for a while...be sure that this is not a selfish action, that you don't want to try just to keep the image of a happy family...sometimes couples can't continue living together and noone understands their reasons but themselves. If you really love them, and I'm sure you do then you'll want them to be happy...and I know it's hard to accept but maybe the only way for each of them to be happy is to take separate ways...put yourself in their place...if you were to take such a difficult decision wouldn't you want your loved ones to be supportive?maybe your parents need to hear that "it's ok"from you...you'll still have both of them anyway....
2006-10-04 01:23:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this is hard, honey. Remember that they aren't divorcing because of something you have done and that they will both always love you. It's beyond your control what is happening and maybe it's best in this situation to step back and let it happen. Your parents are probably very unhappy with one another and you might be surprised how much things change when they're apart. This could be a move for the better for all of you. One thing I would suggest that you DO do is set them both down together and simply say "mom and dad. I love you both and I understand you are having problems. Do what you have to do, but don't drag me into it. I will not badmouth nor will I listen to either one of you badmouth the other. You're both still my parents." Then don't say another word. They'll understand. Good Luck!
2006-10-03 23:42:57 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to find some their memories from the beginning of they're relationship to remind them why they fell in love in the first place. Have your father do something nice for your mother and apologize even if he doesn't feel he did anything wrong. An apology can go along way. It can also help to open up lines of communication. After many years of marriage men tend to forget and not recognize the many contributions that their wife have brought into the relationship. Your mother may feel that over time she has forgotten who she is or that she needs a change your father can encourage her to try new thing and endeavors. Find the memories of their beginning is very important above all.
2006-10-03 23:51:24 · answer #3 · answered by Reflective Acumen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. This must be very hard for you. I am afraid many people experience the pain of having parents who don't get along. The hardest thing is that you care for them both and want them to just be happy. But you can't make that happen. This is not your fault and it is not your problem to solve. As difficult as it may be, you are going to have to let them work it out as adults. All you can do is encourage them to seek marriage counseling and then focus on keeping yourself as safe and at peace as you can. Find some good friends who may have been through this before. They will understand.
2006-10-03 23:43:29 · answer #4 · answered by Isis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That all depends on what the cause is.
This is a difficult situation. You must try to keep them together, but at the same time, also try not to get too involved.
Your parents are very fragile at the moment and they both realize that they have a lot to lose.
Believe me, they are scared shitless too.
2006-10-03 23:47:44 · answer #5 · answered by natasha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, sweetie, but this is just plain none of your business and you need to Butt Out!! It is personal between mom and dad. Stop trying to be their fairy godmother. I am sure there are many aspects to their relationship and marriage (or lack of) that you do not know. The best thing you can do, zip the lip and make no judgements against one parent or the other......you are not going to "keep them together"!
2006-10-03 23:43:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they both think the other is crazy.... and it just gets worse, why should they keep living in, and dying in hell ! They might live another 100 years and make life miserable for everybody that has to listen to it .
2006-10-03 23:42:47 · answer #7 · answered by Scorpius59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them go, they are tired of each other. If they miss each other, they will come back. If they do not, then they might find someone else and be happy again. Back off and don't make them feel guilty, they know what they want, and let them do it. You do not live behind their closed doors, they do, so let loose and find your own life.
2006-10-03 23:44:39 · answer #8 · answered by shardf 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry just try to show how hard to be away from one of them and if you have photos for them ( during their wading ) put them on a wall so that both of your parents can see them
2006-10-03 23:52:51 · answer #9 · answered by Donets'k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should remind them that you need both parents to have a balanced upbringing and that without them, you might not have the best, so if not for any other reason, they should at least for your sake, remain together. you should also try to pray for them because God hears even such prayers.
2006-10-03 23:43:35 · answer #10 · answered by titi n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋