My friend and her boyfriend have fallen out yet again because he is jealous and is always trying to control her. They fall out every week just about for the same reason and I hate seeing her upset. He won't let her go out and when she does he goes mad and accuses her of sleeping with other people. She told me she's sick of it and wants it to end so she can be free. She told me to help her stay strong. And now, yet again she's going to forgive him and I can guarantee we'll be back to square one in a week from now. All he has to do is say he'll change and she'll forgive him but he never does. I told her she might regret giving him yet another chance and now she says I don't understand. I feel no matter what I do is wrong, I've tried to help her as much as I can and now I feel it's all being flung back in my face. I took her out on Friday to cheer her up and I went to a lot of effort and she ended up leaving me and went off with a bunch of people we don't even know. What should I do?
2006-10-03 22:30:30 · 13 answers · asked by AMY S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
you sound like a great friend amy - but you have to realise that this girls emotions are all over the place and she cant see sense. This man is probably manipulating her into staying with him and she may be frightened to leave him.
She'll eventually snap under the pressure and see sense and have the courage to leave him - until then all I can suggest is you wait for that to happen - stay being friendly with her and be there when her world does come crashing down around her. Good luck xx
2006-10-03 22:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have done about as much as you can for your mate-time to cut her loose,especially in the light of what you said about going out and her ending up sodding off elswhere with some other likeminded planks.Time for you to take a back seat now,you have done your bit for her,she is NOT listening to you,and obviously prefers to be controlled and lead by different people-you appear to be a solid gold Friend,i know it is difficult,but you must now let her do her own thing.What a friend you are:-)
2006-10-04 06:37:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi it seem this friend doesnt deserve you, i would just let her get on with it and find another friend as she is not treating you like one. Just seze to have all contact with her and life will be a much better place for you. You seem to be worrying more about her problems than she is and you dont need to. You need to end this relationship as its dong you no good and its obvious she isnt a good friend if she leaves you and goes off when you have too her out for a good time.No friend does this so its obvious she is showing the signs of a user and isnt your friend.
2006-10-04 13:46:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really very good that u want to help ur friend but I dont think she really want ur help actually she dont want to leave him at all, the more u try to do something to make her understand of this situation more she will get u wrong some day u may be lose ur friendship, thats why it will be better if u let her go on her own way. Just forget abt her & let her do what she wanted to do.
2006-10-04 05:46:45 · answer #4 · answered by Fahim . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that your friend enjoys the attention and the drama of her relationship. You have done more than enough, she is using you a little, I would suggest that you let her make the miss takes and get this out of her system and not make yourself too available for some time, she obviously does not appreciate what a good friend you are.
Take care
2006-10-04 07:19:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wisdom is knowing you may have all the answers to someones problems but that they will never listen to them.
I am always cool about on and off relationships. People do go back and if you agree too strongly with why they left they will be embarrassed and avoid you....
Don't get between your friend and her future husband...
2006-10-04 05:44:09 · answer #6 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In life, people takes two roads, the easy road and the hard road, She is taking the hard road, let her be, let her learn, once she has learned the lesson that she need to learn, she will come around, Just wait, and do not throw it in her face, be her friend,
2006-10-04 07:08:31 · answer #7 · answered by dmncprkr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can do, if she is intant on being hurt, she knows what he is like, she knows what is going to happen, but if its hat she wants then there is absoulutely nothing you can do.
love is blind they say, but i believe love is stupid. not loving someone is stupid, but it makes you do stupid things, it makes you put up with stupid things.
the best thing you can do is tell her you will be there for her , explain that you hate seeing her upset, so you dislike this guy for hurting her every week! tell her there are plenty of guys who are trust worthy and she doesnt have to put up with the heart ache.
just be her friend, if she wants to be with him she will regardless of what you say, its a sad fact, but its true.
good luck
2006-10-04 06:56:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if i was you, i would just let her get on with it, what ever you do or say will not stop her...she needs to work it out all by her self.
just hang in there
2006-10-04 08:33:46 · answer #9 · answered by sam h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be her friend but tell her that your tired of hearing about it BECAUSE she refuses to do ANYTHING about it HERSELF. Tell her when she's ready you'll be there for her 100%. The bigger question?? What kind of friend is she to you
2006-10-04 05:35:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋