He said if we have children, he would like to name them after the 2 children his mom miscarried, so i guess i feel bad, but i still do not want to name my kids tony and sandra, ahhhhhh help please?
2006-10-03 21:58:25 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
One suggestion is to compromise.
Why not choose whichever name you dislike the least and allow it to be the first name of one child and then make the second name the middle name of another child.
Also, you can vary the names depending on what you have.
So, Tony for a boy, Toni (Antonia) for a girl,
Sandra for a girl, Sandy / Xander (Alexander) for aboy.
And as said, you could call a boy Tony Matthew (your surname) and a boy Rachael Sandra (your surname)...
But that aside, do you think it's a little early to be talking about having kids? In saying that though, I don't know you or your boyfriend so I've no idea whether you're yet at that stage.
Given that you're not pregnant yet though, can you talk to him about how he's feeling and maybe tell him that given his mom's experience that perhaps you'd rather wait till you have kids to name them - Also, some names just don't suit certain kids.
If you want to play hard ball, just tell him he can use only one of those names or make them suitable to one gender (as I've demonstrated above) and that you'll name the second child.
I guess you might want to think about what he's going through. In a way, he's trying to re-do his experience of his mom's miscarriage but with a better ending to the experience. I'm sorry if that came out as being tactless - I don't mean to sound harsh or to create fear within you that what happened to your boyfriend's mom would happen to you.
Good luck!
2006-10-03 22:22:56 · answer #1 · answered by ausbabe29_megan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe use them as a middle name.
Or, change the spelling around a bit to make it another name that is similar---but NOT the same.
Actually--Toni would be cute for a girl instead of a boy.
Maybe turn, Sandra into Sade. Turn Tony into Tonya.
Or, use whatever the initials would have been and come up with names with them.
2006-10-04 09:10:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Naming a child is the job of both parents. You should both agree. My mother did that to my father and told him that he could agree to any name for thier daughter as long as it was the one that she liked since she was 12. So, I'm stuck all my life with a name that caused me annoyance for many years. The good news it that she left my sister's name up to him.
Are you in a position at the moment that you are seriously considering having kids soon? If not, then you have plenty of time to work out the differences. I would suggest a compromise - agree to one of the names or to use them as middle names.
2006-10-04 08:38:32 · answer #3 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my husband and I first started dating he told me he had two names picked out, Natalie Heart and Madaline Hope. I thought it was very cute and wonderful that he had names picked out, but I wasn't crazy about them.
Last year I became pregnant with our daughter, and even though he had these picked out, we both liked the name Sophia Isabelle best, especially since Isabelle is my grandmother's middle name, and shortly after finding out I was pregnant she was diagnosed with melanoma. She made it, and we realized Sophia was coming now to bring even more joy into her life.
Point: you'll go through a gazillion names, if you do become pregnant, don't shut him down, just explain that there are a few other options to explore but that ultimately the name will be chosen by both of you. Best of luck!
2006-10-04 05:04:53 · answer #4 · answered by APRDTH 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When that day comes, you can use those names as second names or hyphenate the first name with one of the names he's chosen. I can't think of any names that really go well with those for hyphenating but I think choosing them as a second name is a fair choice for both of you.
2006-10-04 05:01:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh I am kind of going though the same thing, but with my mother-in-law. I am pregnant and she keeps asking me what names I like and every name I like, she hates. So I told her that I am the one that will be giving birth so it's up to me and my husband. Maybe explain to him that you are not comfortable on naming your child after a baby who has passed on. Good luck with everything.
2006-10-04 05:03:38 · answer #6 · answered by Hanky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you don't like those names...
and if ever he won't agree with you and still persist on his choice, then don't marry him...
i don't see a bright future for you....
it shows that he would not work matters out with you in the future,,
but if you really love him, then... i don't know, it's up to you...
maybe you can just add something colorful to those names he wanted to name your children.... example: Sandra dianne and Tony Lance..
how's that?
:)
2006-10-04 05:10:11 · answer #7 · answered by PogSzzz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't want to use these names - then don't - wheres the problem? A relationship is about compromise - you need to find names that you both like. Ok, so you feel bad about where he got the names from - suggest them as middle names prehaps?
2006-10-04 05:06:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
try putting it in the name somewhere like as a middle name or a name like Tony Lyn or Kassandra for a girl and Antony or Sandy for a boy or something? or just tell him how you feel!
2006-10-04 05:44:53 · answer #9 · answered by nativeprincess1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why name a child that you dont like the name of . you have to both like it .... maybe have sandra/tony as their middle name .
2006-10-04 07:23:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋