Has anyone had a life threatening birth or placental abruption-what happened ??

Question

I understand if you don't wish to discuss it-
I lost a baby at 39 weeks due to abruption
I can't forget it
Or get over it as people tell me to.
How have you dealt with it.

Answer 1

I lost my baby boy 11 years ago at almost 40 weeks and it was palcental abruption(hidden) The doctors had no idea why his heartbeat was dropping and an emergency c-section was done but he died just before he was delivered and was unable to be revived even though they worked on him for 20 minutes. I have photos of him which I have out on display, I made a beautiful photo album and created as many memories of him as I possibly could. I have done cross-stitch in memory of him and written poetry. I don't care what other peoples opinions are on how I should have dealt with it, I was told that I should be over it too and that was only six months after he died. I cried for 2 years and every day was painful and hard. But very slowly i started to live again and smile and laugh. I'd feel quilty for that, I wanted him back. I joined groups for baby loss and talking to other women who have lost their babies is an enormous help as they know how you feel and you are not alone. Make a web site for your baby. I don't know if you have any photos, but you can make a web site with other things such as angel pictures, join some online groups for baby loss, the women are wonderful. I'm so sorry you lost your baby. of course you can't forget. dont ever feel you have to get over it. I still have tears in my eyes when I think of him and the life we missed out on. Take Care

Answer 2

The same thing happened to a good friend of mine, she was obviously devastated as were the rest of the family, you have to work through your grief in your own time there are no quick solutions or quick fixes in a situation like this, take one day at a time, you can laugh without feeling guilty you may never come to terms with what has happened to you but also you will never forget the baby you so lovingly carried within you for that precious time.

Good luck in the future
Take care.

Answer 3

I lost a baby at 26 weeks, they don't know why. It was a terrible experience, but I realized how many women in my family and surroundings had lost their babies. They started to talk to me about their feelings. It was somehow a supporting feeling that I'm not alone. You know, the baby died and it I wasn't able to give birth to it. The real breakthrough was when I talked to my sister and she said 'Let her go'. That night I dreamed with my two elder daughters blowing beautiful colourful soap bubbles that beame tiny bright coloured parachutes, the sky was full of them, and they were slowly touching ground. Until that day for nearly ten days, I had very disgusting dreams. Then I woke up in the morning, and felt very easy and relieved. Then by 8 pm the dead baby was out. I said goodbye to her and it was over. Of course the process of grief took some time, but I was responsible for two daughters and that made it easier. And a doctor said: 'Don't worry she will return to you'. I didn't believe him, I thought it probably will be another child, just as important and precious.
And after 16 months I gave birth to my youngest daughter. And she looked like the one I lost. Well, I still don't know what to think...

I'm editing now, because let's not forget about the fathers who equally suffer from the loss. You can't expect her to be your comforter until you become his comforter. So take care of him, too. Support each other and let this experience strengthen your relationship so that the next baby arrives in a strong and supporting family. It's not only your children who you are responsible for, but your husband/partner, too. This thought may give you strength to carry on. And don't forget saying goodbye to your child - you don't have to say it aloud, meditating over it helps, too. Saying goodbye to people or things we lose is very important. It is like helping them to become a part of our past. It even helps with my youngest daughter when she doesn't want to stop playing in the nursery/park: 'Say goodbye to your friends/toys and let's go, lunch is waiting'. And she comes, without arguing. This is why rituals are important, even if they are little or seemingly unimportant things.
Good luck!

Answer 4

I have suffered 4 miscarriages before having my 2 kids...who are now 7 & 8.....I still find myself wondering "what if"....& I still find myself "hurting" for the loss.....I have often wondered if I would have the kids I have now....or would they have been completely different.
I have lost them all to medical reasons in different time tables. One was a result of a fall. One pregnancy, I was pregnant with twins....almost to term. I was devestated, but with time was able to move on.
With both of my children now, I had Pre-Eclampsia, & was put to bed early in the pregnancies.....but had relative "good" pregnancies. My Daughter, however, was an emergency C-section birth 2 wks early....due to cord wrapping around her neck & heart rate dropping, after a turning by Manipulation....she was Transverse Lie.....laying hip to hip & would have been breach.
I still ache for the ones lost....but I see the rewards I have now.

I would never tell anyone to get over it....or deal with it....but dont let it over run your life....you have to continue on with everyday life....it the only way. Dont let the depression, pain, or whatifs take over....it doesn't only effect you...it effects everyone involved with you.
If your religious, talk to your pastor, preacher (whatever your religion).....if not...they do have support groups...see if there are any in your area.
Let friends & family embrace your pain & help you through...sometimes we just need a shoulder to cry on....& dont be afraid to cry, but dont let it be the only thing you do.
Whenever the hurt hits, go for a walk, go outside, call a friend....call a store & ask a stupid question....anything to take your mind off whatifs....

These are things I did....they helped....I know some of it sounds kind of cold hearted, but it works.....it did for me....yes, it will take time, but it will happen.

God Bless You.....

Answer 5

My toddler continues to be veryy lively and that i'd desire to circulate into hard paintings every time now, if something you are able to in simple terms sense like toddler circulate extremely much less and it look not as solid because of the lack of ability of room, yet you realize how the well-known practitioner asks you if the toddler continues to be shifting typical and to call in case you sense a shrink in how lots they circulate? Thats whilst there is an probability that somethings incorrect or will circulate incorrect, the extra lively the extra valuable :)

Answer 6

When I gave birth to our son, I remember I held my breath, grabbed my knees and pushed. They almost had to give me air. My son had to be incubaded. He had muscular dystrophy and died a yr later. Time goes, it doesn't heal that, but it just goes on and on. NO more babies for me, only the hairy, four-legged kind.