I work in a completely different dept to another lady don't even know each other. I'd left my latte mug in the kitchen & went to collect it. When I picked it up, this lady was in the kitchen too and said, "That's a big mug for a small person". I didn't say anything, but just laughed it off. Yesterday, I had just got to the photocopier and realised it had run out of paper. I got some paper from my office and bent down to put some into the tray when this lady came up and said, "Broken the photocopier have you?" in a jokey way (which is not my sense of humour), and gave me a light pat on my upper buttocks (as a jokey rebuke). Again, I took it with a pinch of salt.
I really don't liked to be touched and wonder whether I should say anything about her or leave it, until she does it again. She has a very loud voice aswell. Am I making a moutain out of a mole hill or how should I handle this situation from now on? Any sensible suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
2006-10-03 20:33:33 · 24 answers · asked by The way I are 1 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
ahh, a bully! i love bullies, they crumble so easily when you stand up to them. she probably loved thinking that she got one over on you which makes her feel better about herself.
Ask around, find out what she is normally like, then when anything like that happens again, turn round and tell her what you think of her actions, u could even make it sounds semi jokey but make sure she knows you are serious.
2006-10-03 20:43:03 · answer #1 · answered by Mr Gravy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Everybody is different, some would take your situation as a bit of a laugh and joking around and some may feel that it is pushing the boundaries. We should all respect people's differences. This woman obviously doesn't kow how to judge people and their reactions, but at the same time, if something makes you feel uncomfortable then you should say so. It doesn't have to be done in a confrontational way as I know that this can sometimes make matters worse. But next time she touches you inappropiately, take her to one side and tell her that you know that her intentions are good and she may be goofing around but it makes you feel uncomfortable. And make sure you say that you'd rather tell her outright than let things get out of hand. If she turns catty about it, well thats just her, you would have approached it the most tactful way you could. And someone mentioned sexual harassment and they are right! You have the right to work in an environment where you feel comfortable and safe so be firm but polite. GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-04 04:08:06 · answer #2 · answered by Mizzy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she may like the look of you and want some sort of friendship. People have different ways to break the ice. Touching you is a bit off, but yeah take it with a pinch of salt for now and try and get into a conversation with her. Once your chatting you might actually like her, give her a chance. A friend of mine is very touchy, some people are.
2006-10-04 03:56:36 · answer #3 · answered by Gary 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You aren't making a mountain out of molehill, if you feel this is important, it is important.
I think the lady is trying to be friendly and making a mess of it. I would have freaked to get touched like you were, my personal space is very important to me! She may be a loud mouth in more than one sense so you may find yourself bad mouthed if you upset her - even without meaning to. Say hi if you see her around in a neutral sort-a-way so you can't be accused of being mean but if she does anything else you don't like, time for the Paddington-Bear-Hard-Stare
2006-10-04 03:47:42 · answer #4 · answered by Andy M Thompson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably shouldn't have patted you, but I don't think she is trying to be nasty! She sounds as if she is just trying to be chatty and friendly, and her jokes are just ways of breaking the ice. If I were you I'd just try to lighten up and chat to her. You'll probably find that you have been worrying over nothing!
When my job gets too stressful it's a relief to have a laugh and joke in the kitchen. Try to stop analysing it, and just joke back!
2006-10-04 04:02:17 · answer #5 · answered by Copper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, does she treat other people the same way? Try to find out if she does. It may just be her 'way' and she could be well known for it. If you are uncomfortable with it you shouldn't have to put up with it anyway. Give it a chance and if it continues talk to your dept head about it and see if they will have a quiet word without mentioning your name. Good luck you.
2006-10-04 03:48:03 · answer #6 · answered by Julian P Wildebeest 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be all a bit of fun and although she may be going over the top you must speak to her. A joke or funny comment is not usually something to worry about but slapping your butt can be deemed as offencive. If you don't like it advise her not to do it politely. Remember she may be just a bubbly loud person but don't let it get our of hand
2006-10-04 03:41:11 · answer #7 · answered by alismudge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Difficult one this as I assume that you do not want any kind of confrontation.
If she does it again say to her,jokingly, that you might fancy women but I don't like being touched by in that way. My boyfriend would be quite upset if he heard about it.
In this way you establish your sexuality, you show displeasure and you question her sexuality. If she isn't gay then she will be more careful in the future as she might think that is how others see her. If she is gay then you have put up the barrier. As a last resort tell one or two of your office friends about it and then her reputation, right or wrong, will be ruined.
I would hate to be touched in that way by a gay man.
Best of luck
2006-10-04 03:47:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if i was you i would consult your line manager and let them know the situation. the usual policy for this is called "fair treatment" and it protects people from these situations. its usually easilly resolved with a discusion with the two parties and a manager. if this doesnt resolve it, it can be taken to a grievence level which then becomes formal. your manager would be in the wrong if they refused to deal with this. if you need any further support, acas offer a support line that you can call, bupa also offer one.
2006-10-04 20:03:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and ask her if she has a problem with you, she sounds like a funny person though and maybe you are coming across as being moody, think about it. good luck and hope it is the latter as maybe she is trying to make you smile, im so moody sometimes and some staff at my work make me laugh by joking around!
2006-10-04 04:01:57 · answer #10 · answered by womam12 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋