My husband have left us for the third time and i have gotten tired of it. My 10 yr.old son doesnt want him back. However, after hearing the comments and advise of some close friends, i got confused.
2006-10-03 19:30:45 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He left you three times? He is probably considering you as doormat where he can come back anytime he messes up outside. Dont let him treat you like that. You & your son dont deserve this, that too over and over again. Its ok to give ONE chance but three chances are too many. Whats the guarantee he wont cheat you again for another woman? Can you afford the pain again? I dont think so unless you are used to it! (Sorry for the harsh words but thats the reality dear)
2006-10-03 19:35:04 · answer #1 · answered by TulipGirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normally I would say you have to figure that out for yourself no one walks in your shoes and knows your feelings towards him and what were the reasons he left in the first place. But 3 times my dear he sounds like he's only coming back when things don't work out in his favour with these other women.and your the old comfortable shoe. He too is confused and is use to security and routin with you. but not so fullfilled with you that he leaves the chance he gets something better coming along.
To give him credit maybe he really wants to try he knows you both have history together and you have a child but unfortunatly its just not working out down the road i c him leaving for good. and this must be hard on you and your son back and forth like a bean bag.
You will have to answer this question yourself. But perhaps you could both go to councling and get to the bottom of why he keeps leaving he's obviously not getting what he needs from the marriage and im not saying thats your fault people change there desires change etc... nothing is for ever.
good luck and hope you make a decision that works for you and your family.
2006-10-04 02:51:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Third times a charm if you ask me. Once a cheater---always a cheater? I'm not sure if that's really correct, but why take a chance of heartbreak AGAIN since he's already been such a louse? Your 10 year old son needs to learn how to be a gentleman and a gentle man. He won't learn it from this guy. Don't be afraid to fly on your own. You can do it.
2006-10-04 02:38:10 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki Jo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three times?!?! Let him go and stay gone. If you continue to let him come in and out of your life then you are teaching your son that Men can walk all over women in their lives. You deserve better and being alone is better than being wrapped around this loser's finger. Wait for someone better to come into your life and make the space for someone better back putting an end to letting this man treat you like a doormat.
2006-10-04 02:35:39 · answer #4 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation just recently. I will tell you why, because the husband will do it no matter what because he knows that you will ALWAYS take him back. You got to act like you dont care that he is gone, because that will piss him off. Thats what i did, i didnt care, and he seen that, and he knew that he made the mistake again, and came home, The next time he doesnt i told him to forget where i live, and who I am, because were done.
2006-10-04 02:33:46 · answer #5 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you should be taking advice from your 10 year old.
If a child doesn't want his own father around that would carry more weight in my decision than friends. Think about this? Your friends won't be suffering if you make the wrong decision but your son will.
2006-10-04 02:44:11 · answer #6 · answered by Kainoa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has already left you 3 times before,if you decided to take him back you can probably expect a 4 and 5 and 6 time.Most children long to have their parents living together,but your son does not wish for this to happen,doesn't that tell you something.Why would you want to be some ones door mat.you are better than that.I truly hope that ever thing works out for you.take care.
2006-10-04 02:51:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 strikes, he is OUT ... leave him out. people never change unless they really want change, he obviously does not. ... what incentive does he have to change? (and you are not an incentive) ... the incentive i am talking about has to come from within him, obviously, these other women recognize him for the loser he is and dump him, so he keeps coming back to you with apologies and promises to never do it again. he may be sincere ... at that moment, but obviously, there is not enough there at home to hold him on the long haul .... he will always be looking for a greener pasture. ... cut him loose and heal from him, maybe a better man will come along.
2006-10-04 02:34:37 · answer #8 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Have you read Dr. Laura's book Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives?
Not to be rude but was that written after you...?
WAKE UP LADY!
This isn't about you, you are hurting your son EVERYTIME you allow this loser to come back into your home! Enough is enough. Get a backbone (or get the book, its really good).
DON'T DO IT!
You deserve more and if not for you ...
do it for your kids...
Okay?
2006-10-04 02:33:43 · answer #9 · answered by Ponderpink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
these are the things you need to consider
!. will it make you happy and fulfilled?
2. will it make your son happy?
not both answer will be yes, its difficult but if you really love him you can explain it to your son. he might not be the best husband but tell your son that he wants to be the best dad. he might fall again but assure your son that you are with her all the way, that no matter what you will be beside her. let your son understand that when he mature he will have his own family and the way you are dealing with your husband is the meaning of true love
its hard i know- may our good Lord guide you
2006-10-04 02:37:47 · answer #10 · answered by crystalink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋