Why does my wife of four years seem so uninterested in sex?

Question

For some reason my wife hides herself when she is naked and I am in the room. She was getting ready for bed and took her top off. I asked her to turn around so I could see and she said ," no thank you. It is not the right time." This has been going on for sometime. When we make love she won't let me touch her for very long and rarely ever touches me. When we do make love it is in the same position with me on top and seems to want it over as soon as possible. She says she enjoys sex with me and tells me I am hot. Is she just telling me what I want to hear? Is she giving me sex once every two weeks just out of simpathy? I really want to bring her pleasure but she just won't let me. What should I do?

Answer 1

follow her, she what shes up yo. no offence but i bet theres someone on the side.

Answer 2

Sex is more important to men than most women...When you first hook up its exciting and passionate...We get stuck in routines, and things become mundane and predictable...Think also with women it could be a low selfesteam issue...gain a little weight, if there are kids, you get tired... If its the same ol' same ol', why even bother...she may be depressed for some reason...anything not so good occur in the last 5 yrs?...any in law problems?...do you work different shifts?...Is she stuck home all day?..there could be so many reasons other than she is having an affair...That I am sorry, is a man's thinking..If I ain't getting it someone else must be...that is a crock...that is because men have a penis, and women don't...sex can hurt sometimes, but a man wouldn't know what that feels like cause he's got the outie, not the innie....maybe she isn't feeling so good about herself...could be anything....

Answer 3

Maybe a change in your behavior . Don't grab or put your hand on her personal parts until you romanced her a while . Most women look at it as a turn off if all you do is go for the Gold seconds after in bed. Next maybe try some thing different . Oral sex is always a winner and after she has her thrill you are able to have yours knowing she is satisfied . I find that most women like to be noticed first , then worked into the mood. Talking about what you would like to do is called communication. Without it your loss . You both can't read minds . Last .....there might be something on her mind that has been there for a while . Maybe she is upset with you and finds you not as attractive as when you first met. People change and you must change together or you will lose her for good ....Something to think about .

Answer 4

I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Marriage in itself can be treacherous ground. I'm saying this out of personal experience so please take heed. After I had children, there was quite a while afterwards where I had not lost the "baby weight" and therefore felt self-conscious of my body. I constantly wore t-shirts and big baggy clothes, and pajama pants with a night shirt, just for good measure. I constantly would turn around when I was changing in front of my husband and then soon, starting going into the bathroom to do it! It was all self-esteem issues. My husband and I talked about it (finally) and he helped me resolve these issues. He and I returned to our 3-4 times per week with all the clothes off and all the lights on! It was wonderful to feel that way again. My husband started to travel a lot, started missing dinners, etc with our children and was rarely home before 10 or 11 PM, but he still turned to me 1/week in our bed. However.... about 5 years later, I was very, very lonely. Somehow I ended up meeting another man, and well, you know how that story goes. The point I'm making is this: As soon as I met this man (didn't even have sex with him yet), I started to pull away from my husband. I'd turn around when we'd be in the bedroom changing, I'd make sure I was already in bed, sleeping before he'd come to bed. Our sex slowly bottomed out to once every 3-4 weeks (this took a while). I definitely felt a certain type of betrayal toward my newer lover if I did have to sleep with my husband. When I did, it was short as possible, lame as possible, and I would have told him anything just to get it over with. I'm very sorry. I'm not sure that you bargained for this ANSWER, but unfortunately, your wife is having an affair. She won't let you near her, because she is not yours anymore.
Talk to her. Follow her, if you must. Figure this out. Do the therapy, do whatever it takes, but do not let her treat you like this anymore. You don't deserve it.
Good Luck, to you both, sincerely.

Answer 5

Has she always been this way towards you or is this something just sudden thats happen.

2ndly have you mis treated her in anyway that perhaps she fallen out of love and doestn' see you the same man you were. but feels that she should still give you some action.

I mean if you verbally abusing her time after time eventually she will feel less love for you and won't look at you the same way she did.

Or could it be she just had a baby and has gained weight and feels she's not attractive as much anymore.

What ever it is you need to find out . She's lost interest.

Answer 6

was she like this when you were dating? Do you have children? was the change all of a sudden or gradual? Is she naturally shy? You didn't give a lot of details, It could be hormones. Maybe her testosterone levels are down. Which will lessen her libido. This is definately something you need to have an open conversation about. Can you truley tell if she is having an orgasm? You know there are physical signs that you should look for, not just moans and groans which can so easily be faked. If she wants the two of you to have a satisfying sex life maybe she needs counseling, or a visit to her ob/gyn. Maybe something happened to her in her childhood that makes her fearful. Or maybe you just don't do it for her, but she tries not to hurt your feelings

Answer 7

i recently read an article dealing with this topic so you are in luck.it said that after the first first and second year of marriage the sexual drive decreases in al women, and their advice was to spice things up: give her a masage, compliment on the way she looks since it is my opinion that she is insecure about the way she looks and her weight-women do that through out their marriage. also, try new positions and talk with her as well to see what is going on. maybe she likes the same position but maybe you two need to spice it up once again...she is making excuses not to show herself to you naked since she does not feel good about her body or how she looks or otherwise she wouldnt act like this. as for being distant, well make her loosen up with a nice surprise bath before you two do it or a glass or wine and a nice dinner and a movie-you take care of all that stuff. the more -not the more drunk-loosened up she is the more she will enjoy sex, new positions, and playing with you.

Answer 8

Have you tried other things? A new sex technique? Trying it with the lights off even. Ask her what she would like during sex. Or maybe it's her job? A woman's sex drive tends to go down if there's a lot of stress on her mind. Maybe something happened at work. Set up a romantic dinner or think back to the times to when she wanted to have sex. What was her turn ons, what led to the sex. Or reinact a really good date that you both enjoyed.

Answer 9

there are countless possibilities of her behaving in that manner..
for one, she may have been upset of something you did or did not do and just cant talk about it, or she's interested into someone else, or you dont show enough sex appeal to turn her on or she's simply not attracted to you anymore, or you lack the so called "magic"... if this is the case, you should cuddle her more or simply tease her, touch her on some parts before going straight to bed, give her the look that you really want her... if this doesnt work then refer to the former possibilities... and mind you, women likes the feeling that they are being wanted because they are attractive and not something to be used for self satisfaction... you should examine all the angles because she might want to keep silent with it, go and do your moves now, Good Luck!!!

Answer 10

have you ever really sat do and asked her if you are satisfying her. Not saying that you are not good in bed but it has been said that when you see some one every day you tend to forget to tell them hoe beautiful they are?

Does she really know what having sex is meant to be. She could have been taught come thing totally opposite to your expectations of sex.. For instance that you are just meant to climb on top of her
and do your thing.

Try having it at different times and different ways. Spontaneously

Maybe your too biog or the opposite.. If all this does not help sex therapy is great

Answer 11

You don't say if she's been this way all along or not. If so, then I'd have to say that she might be what they refer to as "frigid". If it's something that's a little more recent than that, then I'd say something has turned her off as far as having sex with you. You need to go back and reexamine things and see if you can figure out the origins of the problem. Good luck.