As you may know from my previous questions that my husband messed up I found a porn magazine in his car and I am against porn I can not except this and I won't,He has slept in the garage since Saturday and I was about to file for divorce but he seems really disgusted with himself and he seems sorry.Today he brought me a nice tanzanite necklace and just keeps saying it was a mistake and he will never do it again.So what do you think?PLEASE I don't need people telling me I should not be mad about porn because I am and I do not want any part of it's evil filth in my life at all I just want to know if you think it is worth forgiveing him.
2006-10-03 19:04:31 · 25 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He sounds pretty repentant. You've drawn the line, you've made it EXTREMELY clear it is not acceptable...yes forgive him but make sure he is absolutley 100% w/o a doubt sure that if he screws up again you're done. Perhaps get it in writing because if he is like my husband he will be like, "I never said that," ...whatever putz!
He needs to know it will take you awhile to feel like you can trust him again and he is going to have to be absolutely transparent. He can't hide anything and can't object when you probe him for answers or search his car.
If he is wanting to work it out I honestly think you owe it to your marriage to give it a try.
Good luck sweetie :)
PP
2006-10-03 19:13:02 · answer #1 · answered by Ponderpink 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's not about the fact it's porn, its the face he lied and did what he knew would hurt you behind your back. Don't put the focus on "porn" because that's nothing next week it can be flick's or exoctic clothings, etc. Base your focus on why he betrayed your trust you trusted that he would not do anything to hurt you NO MATTER WHAT; far as for you, really think about it. with thime, maybe allow him to look at porn when he is away from home. I mean what would you do if he went to a strip club. Marriage is about compromise, give a little take a little. As long as he respect your views you all will be okay. So in sum, yes forgive but talk it out. Keep the trust issue your key factor.
good luck
2006-10-04 02:13:08 · answer #2 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If this is a religious thing then I can respect that, but that isn't usually the case. I believe that you are very insecure and don't want your man looking at ANY women period. Do you really think for one second that your husband has a shot at banging one of those women?
Years ago my ex got super pissed at me for watching Wonder Woman on TV for God's sake!
Are you angry about women in porn being exploited? Got news for you, they CHOSE to do what they're doing. Nobody is holding a gun to their head. At least they get paid for what they're doing, unlike those 'Girls Gone Wild' females. All they get is a free t-shirt. Talk about being stupid.
Do you read those Romance novels? How about Cosmo or any of those others that give you sexual advice? This crap is all fantasy. Porn = fantasy. Romance novels (and such) = women's porn. Are you being hypocritical?
Oh, good job on cutting his balls off. Congrats, your husband has now been vaginized!
If my wife pulled the sh!t on me that you're pulling on your husband - she or me would be out the door. This homey don't play dat! If you were MY wife, you'd have my hand print on your @ss.
If you weren't so goddamned anal he wouldn't NEED to look at magazines. A man wants a lady in the house and a whore in the bedroom. I'll wager that you're not fun in bed one bit. Give the man some spice damn it! I think you'd be better off living with the Amish.
2006-10-04 02:39:12 · answer #3 · answered by Larry F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
more importantly here you need to ligthen up and find out why your so discusted by this. You also made your man feel like complete **** and that he's worthless crap. You should be ashamed of yourself. and its a wonder he doesn't sleep around with an atitude like that. your treating him like a kid.
And then he comes back and give you a necklace cause he feels bad he hurt you. Many women out there would like a loving man who does such things but without haveing to flip out at him just so he can beg like a dog for forgiveness how can you feel proud of yourself. he's probably looking at porn jerking off when he can cause you probably don't feed the guy right in that department. and make him feel like **** all the time.
I say the problem lies with you. yeah okay its porn. but i can just see you if he leaves a shirt sompleace you don't like it to be or he didnt' mow the lawn on time.
2006-10-04 03:05:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely forgive him. Hey, even God gives us sinning humans second chances...so why can't you give your husband another chance?! If he's sorry and he's promised not to do it again, don't file for divorce but instead give your marriage another chance. Porn is filth but don't get divorced over it because its also a human weakness and you should be willing to give your marriage communication, talking to each other and compromising skills rather than run for your lawyer when you find something that you don't like in your husband! So give him another chance and don't always head for divorce...you did get married for better or for worse didn't you?!
2006-10-04 02:11:59 · answer #5 · answered by DrSH 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think looking at one magazine is grounds for divorce, but you really need to talk with him and ask him why he is into it sooo much. If it's really a issue with you then give him an ultimatum. The porn or you. I don't think you will have a problem finding someone else, so he needs to realize how important you are to him.
2006-10-04 11:32:15 · answer #6 · answered by low1sk8er 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not saying porn is anything I approve of but I would rather my hubby look at that then go to the strip club and have it put in his face. Give him another chance and I never tell my hubby no you can't do this or that because I know when someone tells me not to do something I do it (sometimes LOL) Hope that helps!
2006-10-04 03:15:28 · answer #7 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, u seem to be one of the most naive females Ive been exposed to in a while. Do you have any idea how many secrets most guys have in relationships and the SHHIT they do to or behind most of their wifes/gf's backs. YEA YEA let urself think most men when they swear on their mothers lives are really telling the truth. REMINDER: that is NOTHING compared the shiit you COULD be going through and what most women go through. Let it go, if you love the guy, forgive AND forget and move on. MOVE ON and stop being a child..please for the sake of this damn society we live in today(taking everything too personally and becoming way to prissy...just relax).
2006-10-04 02:13:30 · answer #8 · answered by James 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How distgusting for a man to look at beautiful women(half naked at that!)Gosh,that is so abnormal (I wonder what he was thinking)?Don't let that (disgusted with himself,I will never do it again fool you).That evil filth should be banned so you and I can feel better about our fat miserable selfs.Keep being mad at yourself for marrying a man who enjoys looking at beautiful woman.Then forgive yourself and forgive your husband for being a red blooded male.
2006-10-04 02:34:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is sorry and evn gifted u to apologise then i think u shud do it.look dear its just a magazine he slept with i admit ur mad wen he got u in his bed wat is he doing with a magzin seems the book is better than u,but dear these are ups and downs be happy dat he has been with any woman in the garage!! u need to talk to him and make him feel at ease, a person nevr does anythg without reason.find out wats his problm,acting with anger or rudeness wont remedy things.
2006-10-04 02:33:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋