2006-10-03 18:19:10 · 6 answers · asked by NightTrainWooWoo 4 in Education & Reference ➔ Trivia
A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up
ahead of him and went to her and said, "Can you please help me, I don't know what hole I'm on".
She told him "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 7; you're on 6."
He thanked her & continued playing golf. Later he got lost again.
He saw the same lady and went to her again kind of embarrassed.
"I'm sorry to bother you again but I'm lost again, can you please
tell me what hole I'm on."
Lady : You are one hole behind me. I'm on 14; you are on 13.
Again he thanked her and continued playing golf. When he finished he saw her in the clubhouse. He went up to her
and asked if he could buy her a drink for helping him out. She accepted.
As they were drinking & talking he asked her what she did for a
living.
"I'm in sales."
He replied, "no kidding so am I. What do you sell?"
Lady : It's too embarrassing to tell.
But after he kept pleading to know what she sold she said she'd tell him if
he promised not to laugh. He promised.
Lady : I sell WHISPER (Sanitary Napkins).
He immediately fell to the floor laughing hysterically.
Lady : You promised you wouldn't laugh.
He replied, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. I sell toilet paper... I'm still one hole behind you."
2006-10-04 06:05:55 · answer #1 · answered by giko 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A guy goes into a restaurant, accompanied by this big ostrich.
The waiter is a bit perturbed, but business has been slack and he thinks his boss will be mad at him for throwing away custom.
"What will you have sir?" he asks the man.
"I'll have the fish, chips and mushy peas please, my favourite. It's the best thing for a Monday night." he replies, The ostrich says, "I think so too. The same please."
So they eat their dinner and the waiter brings the bill, it comes to £12.68
The guy puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a number of notes and coins. Amazingly it is the correct amount.
The next night the man and the ostrich come in again, much the same happens.
"Let's see, Tuesday night, I always think some steak pie goes down well on a Tuesay." he says and the ostrich nods its head, "I'd say! The same for me please."
When the waiter brings the bill at the end of the night, he astonished when the guy puts his hand in his pocket and brings out the £14.60 exactly.
This happens every night, always a dish of the night, the ostrich always has the same, and the guy always has the right money.
It gets to the stage where the waiter can't hold himself in.
"Excuse me sir," after the guy puts his hands in his pocket on the Sunday night and pulls out exactly the £24.50 for the steaks they have just eaten. "How can you do that? Do you check the prices before coming in and only have the amount you want in that pocket?"
The guy looks at him, then at the ostrich. "Should I tell him?" "Do you want to?" asks the ostrich, "Well yes." says the man, "Well, yes, do tell him then!" says the ostrich.
"It happened the other week there that I was clearing out a house for an old sea-going fellah I knew when I found this old-fashioned lamp in the attic. Wondering what metal it was made out of, I gave it a rub and out popped this genie. He granted me two wishes. My first wish was clever, I wished that whenever I needed money for anything, all I had to do was put my hand in my pocket and bring out exactly what I wanted."
"Ah, so that's why it is always the exact amount," says the waiter, "And of course, the wish was for when you needed money for anything, so it will always work."
"Yes," said the man with a nod, "No matter what it's for - cigars, meals, a Jaguar XJ, anything, the exact money is there each time."
"Wow!" says the waiter. "And the ostrich?"
The guy gives a baleful stare at the creature, "Not so clever with the second one." he sighs, "I asked for a tall, leggy chick who always agreed with everything I said."
2006-10-04 09:54:35 · answer #2 · answered by Eden* 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are indeed serious: go to : www.beliefnet.com and then scroll down to Jokes - they have several categories - and I particularly like their religious jokes!
2006-10-04 02:50:20 · answer #3 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No - all my jokes are stupid.
2006-10-04 10:16:30 · answer #4 · answered by Jayna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good joke...
2006-10-04 01:34:02 · answer #5 · answered by Toaster o' Death 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
how do you make a lemon drop?
you hold it and you drop it!!!!!!!
yeah i know...
2006-10-04 05:12:55 · answer #6 · answered by miles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋