Im lost , i dont know wheter im coming or going. I am the end of my rope.?

Question

I have been going through alot lately. I lost my father ( last year), my grandfather on my mom's side and my granpa little bother as well past 2 weeks later.I havent worked in 2 years.been by mom's side throughout the ordeal, helped her out.Mom got 2 discal injuries and at one point had pneumonia.Her mom ( granny) cant walk nor see. I take care of her too. I wish to start my life again, but nothing seems to work. Been looking for a job, no one calls,its like all the hard work i did in the past was worth nothing. Im totally discouraged. I had plans to get my MBA and go to harvard now i dont even know if that is possible... Heck im not sure that i can get a job. I dont know what to do anymore.Im fighting the urge of just letting go and stopping everything. A part of me dreams of getting married , having a family but yet it seems like nothing is possible anymore.Its hard to wake up cause everyone around me is negative, mom is never happy always complaining about everything. HELP

-i am christian

-Mom is never happy and always grumpy and i always have to do a million things for her. Things that i know she can do on her own. I dread waking up in the morning, I dread doing things cause of all the drama around me.

- I wish i could see at least some light at the end of the tunnel or have 1 positive thing going on, but there is nothing and has been nothing for quite a while. Its not to think suicide

Answer 1

It is honorable that you have been around to help others...but it is time to get yourself out of the situation and go and build your life. You are not here to cure everyone else. Get out and be happy.

Answer 2

I learned, you cannot stop your life for a sick family member. I took care of my dad and worked a full time job and was a single parent to 2 little kids. It was emotionally and physically exhausting
I had to put dad into a nursing home, so I could go on with life. I was not being fair to myself or my 2 kids. He was falling all of the time and got to where he could not urinate. He was confused and would not eat or drink. He was incontinent.
I finally put myself 1st and told him he would be better off staying somewhere where someone could be with him 24/7. I was not able to provide for his needs. I was , looking after his bills and trying to keep him fed and my whole family just let me do it all by myself, now they are all mad because he left me his home in his will.
When I get discouraged because my sisters and brothers are complaining about the home that wasnt sold for their financial gain, I remember standing in the bathroom with my dad in the shower soaking wet with no one to help me get him out of the bath except my 10 yr old son. He had messed all over.
Pick yourself up by your boot straps and put yourself 1st for once. Make sure you are taking care of you 1st.
Your mom is probably depressed because she has been sick. She sounds like she may be emotionally dependent on you which is not fair to you. You need to consider putting her into a home or into some serious counseling so you can go on.
Be happy kiddo, You only live once. Dont let the past rule your future.

Answer 3

Hi Gina. First of all Let me say how very sorry I am for your families loss. Death and sickness does take its toll on relationships. I know your burned out but girl, if your a christian, you need to pray about all of this. I'm sure you have hundreds of times but do it hundreds more. Life is a presious gift from God, he made the ultimate sacrfice for us and the least we can do is sacrfice for others. I know you have and that's great. If it's becomming a chore to keep your head above water and your burden is to heavy turn it over to God. I know from my own experiences that god wants us to ask him for help, not only in the bad times but in the good. I would like to extend to you an invitation to email me in the future if you want to vent. That is it's self can ease a burden. God loves you even if you sometimes wonder if anyone else does. Oh to comment on you not being married and having a family I feel you sister, I'm not either and I want it to. But, that's not the plan for my life, right now. [e-mail] Good Luck:)

Answer 4

through the eyes of someone elseput you trust in God, all this will pass and you will be rewarded in life for being the kind person you are, if possible in the meantime get some counseling, you are so overwhelmed now, it is hard for you, you have so much to handle at one time, a therapist will help you see different prospectives, also cannot others help? why should you carry all this burdon on your shoulders, it is to much for one person, it is not fair for others to expect all this of you. Do a kind thing for yourself, get a professional to talk all this over with, for your sanity, and hang in there, God never seems to be there when you need Him but He is always on time!

Answer 5

Hi! you have been through enough to exhaust anyone. Maybe just a few parttime hours first? Your life could do a 180 at anytime and you want to be around for the party. Tie a knot on the end of your rope and hang on!!!

Answer 6

U need to get away.Even if it is for just a day...U need time to relax and enjoy YOUR life.I have gone through the losses too. It's hard mentally and physically.U need to focus on getting someone else to watch the ppl u normally watch and get away or u r gonna break down like i did. Life is too short and there has got to be someone that can watch them for a day. Just do it and Good Luck. Me

Answer 7

Sometime life is hard.. More you try to harder...I been there ..You only going thought a test..God will bring you thought it...Just don't give up...Pray for your mom...She's deal with the same things.. Have a mom and daughter day... Let your mom know the day..Is only for you and her...Nothing about home life..

Answer 8

GOOD greef woman, you are a saint.. but even saints needed time alone. its time to tell mom that if she needs help to hire a nurse, at least part time. re-apply to school and look forward. i know the loss' you have are a downer(my brother, inlaw and 2 g-parents) but none of them would want me to sit on the pot for the rest of my life. theres too much out there.(and i never,ever cared what people think of me, i'm having fun) and i'm 39, and crazy as a loon. get out and live...whooooohooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

ya sound like a hellava woman... just try and hang in there and maybe start doing little things for yerself.. g'luck

Answer 10

wanna be frends?? if u want, email me at [e-mail]. oh and pls tell who u r cause i get lots of junks evryday and i hate em. too many....ty