This is not me but a friend. She has been married for 18yrs. She recently caught her husband having an affair that had been going on for several months. When he left he told her about more than 10 one night stands with professional while he was in the navy. He had stopped for about 10yrs. but before he started with the girlfriend he had been planning to hook up with a wiman he met over the internet. She begged him to come back and he did. She now found out he continued to see the same girl and when she moved hooked up with a woman he worked with for what he deemed a "f*ck". She wants to stay. They are going to counseling. I don't think he will stay faithful but can't convince her. Any advice? I am also friends with him and can't seem to get him to figure out why he seeks out other women. He says he loves his wife and he loves the woman he had the affair with and would be happy to be with either one. What do i tell him about his marriage?
2006-10-03 18:18:59 · 21 answers · asked by Stephani 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would have dumped him after the first one, and that would have been the end of it.
I hope she isn't still having sex with him!
If nothing else, she needs to get rid of him because he is a health risk. Anyone having multiple partners, especially professionals, is a prime target for HIV, AIDS, and any other lesser STD that's making the rounds.
She needs to talk with a shrink and get over this "thing" she has about this guy.
2006-10-03 18:21:05 · answer #1 · answered by Nosy Parker 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your female friend if she's happy to receive his crumbs because that's all he's giving her. She's not even getting ALL of her husband, not just physically but spiritually either. Who wants to stay with someone who doesn't want to give you the time of day and would prefer to look outside the relationship for satisfaction. Her choice to stay is based upon fear, not a real choice. She just fears what her life will be like alone or what people will say etc. That fear is ruling her life right now, but she will never move on unless she gets the strength to leave him. I think you need to tell your male friend that if he truly loves his wife he wouldn't be treating her like this and maybe he needs to be the one to walk away if he isn't in it for the long haul. They have some hard decisions to be made and I fear counselling won't cut it. Good luck! Oh, in answer to your question, NO, I wouldn't say with a man that cheated on me many, many times!
2006-10-03 18:29:50 · answer #2 · answered by MrsTee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the cat is out of the bag. Things will always be different and he's not the guy she thought he was and who she loved. He is a inconsiderate, disrespectful pig.
Ask her what she will think everytime he comes home late from work or has to go on a busy trip and what will she now think when he doesn't answer his cell phone. Things are different now and she's gonna be miserable. Why prolong it.
2006-10-03 19:15:04 · answer #3 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a leapord won't change it spot. my ex husband used to be like this guy. i have given him a lot of chance but still no result. rather then stuck/hanging to this type of men it better tat your friend just let him go and start being independent. start a new life, open a new book you may find someone tat can make you much more happy. sometime life as a single is much more happier, it just that you have to be strong and independent. show to the mens out there that we can survive even without them. i did that and i'm feeling great and happy wif my son now even without a men. NO STRESS at all.....
2006-10-03 18:35:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The saddest thing to say about being married to a cheating, lying spouse for 18 years is saying you've been married to a cheating. lying spouse for 19 years. Be supportive of your friend and listen to her problems for as long as you can without it affecting you, but the decision to leave her jerk husband is totally hers. I hope your friend realizes that one day her husband may bring her home something she can't clean up with Clorox.
2006-10-03 18:33:39 · answer #5 · answered by Rita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I could not stay with him, especially since he doesnt see the wrong in what he is doing. She should leave him and be done with it. Find someone who will love her and stay faithful to her. If he doesnt see what he is doing as wrong then he will continue doing it and nothing you or she says will change that.
2006-10-03 18:36:28 · answer #6 · answered by Ash 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he has an addiction to sex. He should seek help and it would be best if both couples (husband and wife) attend together if she wants to remain in the relationship. Best luck!
2006-10-03 18:50:35 · answer #7 · answered by davidsmith2060 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this man loves only himself.....I suggest for you not to interfere, if you want to help your friend you can just be a good listener. You don't have to say anything
2006-10-03 19:48:24 · answer #8 · answered by Petra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should tell him to come to his sences and that ur friend is obviously better and that she loves him and that she is still willing to give him another chance.
2006-10-03 18:22:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave it in God's hands and stay out of it. This is a problem for him and his wife
Good luck
2006-10-03 19:29:36 · answer #10 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋