Does this make me a " swinger," or is this considered adultery? I have not taken him up on it, but am thisclose to doing so. I met a man in the store the other day,and the attraction was mutual,more than physical,and is emotional,and we both love each other's minds. hubby met the man I want to make love to,and he says he doesn't care if i have sex with another man. ( i'm str8). i have not given him permission to do the same. What kind of man gives his wife permission to sleep with someone else?!? Isn't that adultery? Cheating? It is confusing to me,as my teenage daughter says that the marriage is beyond salvaging. We have had our problems b4,and when hubby met the man ( i introduced them) he didn't seem mad at all. He informed me that he was shocked at the carefree,light,and fun way I was acting,not at all the grumpy,worried and complaining way i have been acting lately. ( hubby is out of work,and is looking for another job,since he hurt his hand). I have never cheated b4.
2006-10-03 17:33:33 · 13 answers · asked by Dragonflygirl 7 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
I didn't ask him if i could have sex with someone else. He told me if I saw someone I wanted,to " go for it" , just so you all know i didn't ask for this. It was offered to me, for the taking.
2006-10-03 17:47:12 · update #1
he also says he is " an open-minded man and he sees nothing wrong with it,if I want to do so. He also has told me that it would be better for me to have permission,rather than me do so behind his back,and call it " cheating."
2006-10-03 18:21:30 · update #2
This is a disaster waiting to happen.
Men might say yeah go on - but their reaction afterwards may be totally different.
2006-10-03 17:40:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's adultery, even with consent of the other partner in the relationship. Neither he nor you has the authority to absolve from an indiscretion such as this, and I'm not even talking from a religious standpoint. Adultery, I believe, is still illegal in many states in the country.
That said, you are two consenting adults and you can navigate your marriage as you see fit. However, even taking that into account I really don't see how it can benefit either of you in the long term.
You may be attracted to this other man and even though hubby has met him and given the o.k. you're obviously still debating seeing this through. Is it your conscience? Is it your daughther?
Let's say you do go through with and sleep with the guy and it's wonderful and all that. Will you leave your husband for him? Does the other guy WANT you to leave your husband for him? Or is he just in it for the sex? Will you be happy with yourself if the other guy is just in it for the sex.
My advice, for what it's worth: leave it alone.
2006-10-03 17:47:36 · answer #2 · answered by cboni2000 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I certainly hope that you have come to the realization that having sex outside of your marriage is a BAD IDEA! You need to put an end to your marriage before you start sleeping with someone else.
If you don't want to divorce your husband, you better get your priorities straight; Show your husband some love and leave the foolishness behind you.
If you want to be with someone else, do it. But do it right.
No good can come out of the situation you are proposing...
you will only end up hurting your family as well as yourself.
2006-10-03 18:18:09 · answer #3 · answered by h_a_l_e_y 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well jsut cos ure husband shows ro reaction doesnt mean he isnt against the idea. If u wanna have sex with someone other than ure husband, how come u cant give him the rights to do the same?? marriage is two pple being joined as one. So if u want to do something he shud be given the same right. I personally do not think what u want to do is right.. its ure call...
2006-10-03 17:38:21 · answer #4 · answered by makeuplover. 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its still adultery even if you have permission. Best thing to do is end your relationship now before you jump onto another one. Obviously this new guy makes you feel happy so give him and your husband the respect they deserve. They will respect you for it in the end. They will have nothing to ever throw in your face later on. Think about it
2006-10-03 17:45:45 · answer #5 · answered by Esme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your marriage is in big trouble, you guys should get help or get divorced. In no way is it normal for a man to not care if his wife sleeps with another man. My husband would beat the crap out of any man that tried to get down my pants.
2006-10-03 17:45:38 · answer #6 · answered by Robin W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what he's handing you is a big fat test.
be careful how you answer.
actually, I think you killed the marraige by even asking him. How would you have felt if he'd said the same to you? And then had the absolute cheek of introducing you to the girl he wanted to bang?
sorry but if this marraige was dying you just put it out of its misery, with a couple thoughtless questions to your husband.
I don't mean to come down on you, but it sounds pretty heartless to me.
Hmmm you're right that does make it different if he gave 'advance permission'. I still say it's a test, but honestly it might be time for you two to go your separate ways. I would never tell my signifigant 'go ahead' unless love had left me.
2006-10-03 17:36:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
He could be trying to trick you or maybe trying to set you up. You say your man is out of work. I wonder if you work and if you make a lot of money. He could have a private investigator snap some shots of you with another man. He could then file for divorce with the evidence he has & possibly be awarded alimony from you & if your daughter is a minor, he could get custody of her because of your indiscretions, and then you will probably have to pay child support. Watch yourself.
2006-10-04 06:46:42 · answer #8 · answered by cola 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your husband seems to be a very carefree man or someone that needs a real talking to about what is logical in these sort of situations but i assume you've done so already. i think it is adultery and cheating to sleep with another man outside marriage. you are bonded to one person in marriage.
2006-10-03 19:18:59 · answer #9 · answered by YeYeehYo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you do not both appear to be "swingers", I would not take the
bait unless you are prepared for divorce, even then, it is better to have the upper hand when divorce is filed and not let him accuse you of adultry....
You are treading on very thin ice..
Be careful...
2006-10-03 19:52:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋