There's this guy that goes to my school, but he's majoring in something entirely different. The thing is he is deaf well not completely he uses hearing aid. So at the beginning I felt sorry for him because you know people with problems like those usually have a harder time socializing. But he's getting on my nerves he asked for my e-mail and turns out he's one of those guys who are so damn insecure that they feel the need to sort of prove that other girls are interested in them. It seems like he tries too hard to impress me and to make me believe he's popular. Honestly there is nothing I hate more than insecurity in a man, I don't want ********* either, some tiny insecurities can be cute don't get me wrong. But enough is enough..
He sent me a song and said he dedicated it to me and basically it talks about phone sex. I'm serious its a reggaeton song so you can imagine. And everytime I run into him at school he kisses me on my forehead which I find cheesy.
I don't want 2 be mean!
2006-10-03 17:10:42 · 10 answers · asked by c_mitu89 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Usually when I put up with people too long I end up being a *****, and I don't want that to happen.
What should I do?
2006-10-03 17:11:35 · update #1
Get used to being mean sometimes. It's not really mean, it's just being assertive.
Think of it this way....if everyone in this man's life just let him behave in ways they didn't like, then became so frustrated with him eventually and then left him wondering what he did wrong- is that doing him a favor? An analogy would be like a parent not confronting a child on something they did wrong, the parent is avoiding the issue...which does the child an injustice in the long run when they can't live a decent life because of bad behavior that wasn't addressed. So, being assertive and telling him exactly what you don't like will hurt his feelings, yet, he will recover; and then maybe he will actually learn something. He may discover how he rubs other people and maybe try and change that part of him....and truly, in the long run he may live a happier life.
Now it's not your job to parent him either. I would say you could just tell him to leave you alone and that would be fine too. But if you want to feel like you didn't just leave him abandoned without an explanation I would stop allowing yourself to feel guilty. It's not your fault he acts that way. Becoming an adult means also learning you can't be 'nice' all the time unless you want to compromise yourself for other people. I think happier people are willing to be assertive at times without feeling guilty. When you get into the work force you'll learn this even more. Good luck!
2006-10-03 17:21:44 · answer #1 · answered by DanaZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest, not in a mean way but maybe try saying you just would prefer a more cordial, professional relationship because you need to concentrate on school. Let him know you enjoy his company but that you need to be focused and if he is a friend he would understand. That should buy you some time to get your true feelings straight, if you miss his company maybe you feel more than you know?
2006-10-03 17:18:17 · answer #2 · answered by lackny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usually some people with a handicap have a harder time being social as people want the perfect person. since you gave him kindmess and attention, he has gone overboard as he may not be used to having someone cute nice to him and thinks its more than it is. you need to let him know your only into being friends and are not interested in being with anyone now.
2006-10-03 17:17:03 · answer #3 · answered by hollywood71@verizon.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're being mean by not telling him the truth and being "nice" is really being mean since it is pissing you off. In a way you are leading him on. Sit him down with a fresh battery and make sure you are clear about your relationship or friendship. Write it down if you have to so you are clear about it.
Good luck
2006-10-03 17:20:43 · answer #4 · answered by gbdelta1954 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would write him a letter and try and be nice about it and just tell him the truth...tell him you do not want to hurt him but that you are not interested in him in any sexual way...and that you would like to remain his friend but you do not know if you can if he does not leave you alone for awhile....tell him you think he needs to try and be more secure in things, to work on that, but you are only telling him because you do care about him as a friend...really i do not know how to tell him but to be honest nicely is better than blowing up at him....make sure you get across that you did not think the song he wrote you was appropriate for you and him...you are just a friend...
2006-10-03 17:17:04 · answer #5 · answered by sanangel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WELL YOU SAID YOU FELT SORRY FOR HIM IN THE BEGINNING RIGHT? SO YOU DO HAVE AN HEART. HAVE YOU EVER STOPPED TO THINK THAT MAYBE YOUR THE ONE REASON WHY HE CAN HANDLE THAT DREADFULL DAY OF SCHOOL WITH PEOPLE WHO DON'T CARE IF YOU BREATH TOMORROW?
2006-10-03 17:17:11 · answer #6 · answered by jovi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is into your space.That's not allowed were I come from.
2006-10-03 17:18:27 · answer #7 · answered by Rather be dead than red... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NICELY ask him to leave you alone.
2006-10-03 17:19:02 · answer #8 · answered by L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ignore him
2006-10-03 17:13:21 · answer #9 · answered by LilahFairy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear ,
i dont think the problem lies on him... its on you...
2006-10-03 17:13:46 · answer #10 · answered by think 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋