Well i'm 14 yrs old and 5mnths pregnant. When i found out that i was pregnant i didn't know what the hell to do but my family, friends and b/f were really supportive ....my b/f is 17 and lives with his parents and when he comes round to my house he always tells my parents how excited he is for the baby but when i'm round at his house he tells me that we shouldn't have the baby and that the sex meant nothing. I've tried breaking up with him before but it's way 2 hard he tells me that he loves me and that he's sorry....we've been together for 8 months and i want to break up with him just don't know how to have some pride and stick to it!! please help....any suggestions?????
2006-10-03 16:43:42 · 34 answers · asked by emma s 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You poor thing, you are very young. At the moment, don't worry about whether you want to break up with the father or not, he will be a part of your life forever as you will share a child together. You probably need some space from him, tell him this so you get some peace and quiet to collect your thoughts and feelings. You have a very long and hard future coming up if you keep the baby (instead of having it adopted) so please don't stress about trying to dump the boyfriend at the mo'. You will need his support in the first few weeks (sleepless nights, nappy changes etc) and once you have got into a routine you can again talk with him. I wish you all the luck in the world and a very healthy beautiful baby!.
2006-10-03 16:49:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
If you do not love him, tell him. He will always be the father of your child but you do not have to be married to him. Just make sure the baby is a part of his life too. It is only fair.
Since you are 14 get pre-natal care right away. You need special vitamins and care for you and your baby. You are so lucky your family is supportive. Being a mother is the best thing that will ever happen to you. Of course at 20 would have been a better age. A baby too young makes you give up your childhood. You grow up too soon.
But that is too late now. This is a tiny child depending on you. You must love it first, take parenting classes next and get any help you can with the necessities.
Your b/f is just trying to cut any attachment to the baby such as his feelings. That is why he is saying this. He thinks that you are too young to have it and he is just trying to prepare himself for the loss. And he may not want to support the baby till it is 18 yrs old.
If you are 5 months, please have the baby. It is quite big now and it will stay with you forever if you get rid of it. Most women mourn the loss for 20 30 40 years or more. Some never get rid of the guilt. Even though you are young you can be very happy as long as you read and learn all you can about raising a baby and you have some support from family or friends. You can still get your education. And remember the world is not over for you, it is just starting. If you no longer stay with b/f you will find the love of your life someday and get married. Having a baby makes things harder but they are still in your reach. Believe in yourself. This small bundle can survive only if you allow it. How powerful is that?
If you won't keep the baby please put her/him up for adoption. There are many choices nowadays such as adoption when you can still be a part of the babies life just not raise it.
Good Luck and Keep Your Chin Up You are Gods Child
2006-10-03 16:59:10 · answer #2 · answered by Nevada Pokerqueen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I want to said I'm sorry for the rudeness of some of the other people who wrote to you on here. I got pregnant when I was 17 and it's not easy to raise a baby alone but in the end it's all worth it. Right now is a time that you need to think of yourself and your baby, you need to stay in school, I dropped out and had to get my G.E.D but I wish I would have stayed in school. You say your family is supportive of you, then you can depend on that. You have all the time in the world for a relationship, I'm not with my childs father anymore and I'm doing great, I am married at 27 years old, and have a great husband who loves me and my 8 year old son. I know it's hard to be a pregnant teen I was there not that long ago. Don't worrie about your babies father, guys come and go but that baby will love you forever. Tell your babies father that it is your decision and if he doesn't like it to hit the road, that your baby comes first. Let me know how things turn out, my e-mail is butterfly79girl@yahoo.com. If you ever need to talk, or need any parenting advice give me a shout.
2006-10-03 17:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by Robin W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't think you need another lecture from a person who knows very little about you so I will save you that hassle. The deed is done and I am sure you understand now, so anyway. I think that maybe you should break up with your b/f. It sounds like he is causing you more stress than you need and that is not good for you or your baby. I am curious though on whether or not you want this baby. I just hope you know that there are so many choices in the world for you and that it is your choice and whether or not you keep your baby or give it up for adoption you should be surrounded by people who love you and are there to help you. Your boyfriend does not sound like he fits in this category. So all I can say is be healthy and happy and do not let anyone change that for you. Good luck sweetheart, my prayers are with you.
2006-10-03 18:43:46 · answer #4 · answered by dragonfly6758 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're very young to be having a baby.
But really its up to you.
If your boyfriend is too immature to accept the fact that he's going to be a father thats' his issue.
Your main concern now has to be your baby and if your family are supportive then you should be fine.
If you do break up with him try to ensure that he and his family do have some contact with the baby after its born - its not fair on the baby to be deprived of a father and one set of grandparents, he is their blood after all.
Next time he starts saying its a mistake and the sex meant nothing then just say "OK lets call it a day then". And leave it at that. Walk away.
Explain you want him to be a part of his baby's life when its born but you don't want to be his girlfriend anymore.
2006-10-05 09:47:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I'm so sorry your going through this. I would say that you are to young but whats done is done and nothing can change the fact that you will be having this baby. If you dont love him tell him and that you want to have a break for a while. Tell him your getting too stressed and its not good for you or the baby, it can bring on early labour (it happened to me) He is the father of your child and he wont be going anywhere if he cares for you and this baby. Your feelings may change in the future but dont stay with him if you dont want to now. You cant change that fact that he is the father, but you can bring up this baby on your own, its hard at the start but you will get through it, its taken me a while but i'm getting my life about on track, my daughter is now 21 months old and i love her with all my heart, i wouln't change anything, her father lives in London and I live in Perth. He hardley sees her. But it does get easier. Now as for him saying those things, dont take the ****, walk away from him (that is something i should of done from the start) he has no right saying it to you, he should of thought about using protection if he didn't want a baby. Dont invite him over to your house and dont go to his. He will get the message, that ur not going to put up with him. U say, he said the sex meant nothing, I honestly would kick him out tell him not to call and that u will call him. But you need to be strong for you and the baby, think about yourselves, dont worry about him. Sorry doesn't cut it honey, if he's acting like this now whats he going to be like once the baby is born? Life is too short to get stuck in a relationship that you don't wanna be in, you are young and you will find the perfect man for you. I feel that i need to give you a hug cause you are going through so much and you don't need to. Be strong and keep you chin up. If you would like to chat some more plz dont hesitate my email is angelfire_millenium@hotmail.com let me know how you go
Nicole
2006-10-03 17:12:45 · answer #6 · answered by worried06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop, sit back and listen to your heart and you will find the answer. I think you are young but your about to have a baby that you will have to love and care for, and if he's not playing the part of a man now, then he won't when the baby comes. I think you should be focused on your future and having a healthy baby. You are so lucky to have people that are supportive of you and thats all you need for now. If you feel like you don't want to be with hi, then don't. Don't listen to no one but YOURSELF. I hope by the end of everyone giving you their suggestions you will find out what it is you want to do. Good luck and god bless
S.
2006-10-03 16:51:58 · answer #7 · answered by S 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mother got pregnant with me at 14.I will not tell you it's going to be easy.Right now the boyfriend should be the least of your worries.If he's supportive around your family,only stay around your family if possible.
I just want to tell you that you CAN do this.Your very lucky to have a supportive family.I truly hope the best for you and the new little one.♥
2006-10-03 16:58:12 · answer #8 · answered by bamahotT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously not ready to have a child if you can't make up your mind about an as*hole who tells you he is happy at your house and then tells you how he really feels at his house. If the sex meant nothing and you should not have this baby....really think about this!! No parent should ever say that about their baby. Ever. Have you told your parents about this? Do his parents know? You either break up with him or just get used to the abuse he is putting on you already. He is already telling you not to count on him to be there for this baby so just be prepared for the day he tells you he has someone else.
I know this is hard to hear but he is already telling you this is not working for him.
2006-10-03 16:53:10 · answer #9 · answered by saucylatina 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You have to believe in yourself and know that you deserve better. You also have to think about your baby. Will this boy be a good father if he treats you this way? No one can tell you what to do. You are very young and are having to grow up very quickly. Don't allow anyone to knock you down and put their foot on you. As a woman, you have to be smarter and work harder than anyone else to get the same degree of respect. Respect yourself now and do what is in your best interest. I must say that when you love someone, you don't treat them in a way that hurts them....you don't behave toward them in one way at a place and at another place behave toward them in another way. I hope that everything works out for you and your baby. You will have to be strong.
2006-10-03 16:51:10 · answer #10 · answered by Nancy N 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋