I think my wife may have cheated on me while I was in Iraq?

Question

While working over seas to provide for my family, I noticed a change in my wife's tone or manner over the phone. Upon return for R&R, I caught her talking on her cell to a man. I grabbed the phone to and asked who was it and he replied "un chavo", then he hung up. My wife told me she wasn't sure who it was and then she said it might have been her cousin.. It was obvious I caught her in a lie. I got the phone bill and she had communications about 4 or 5 times a week for 6 months with the same #. She said she was scared to tell me and she was just talking to this guy on the phone as a "friend". I could never prove anything different. This was over 1 1/2 years ago and we have another baby (taht makes three). I'm still in Iraq and see no sign of unfaithfullness on her part. She even acts more loving than before at times, as if she's sorry for what she has never admitted. SHOULD I TRUST HER AND MOVE ON OR SHOULD I HIRE A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR (such as "catch a mate") TO FIND OUT THE TRUTH?

Answer 1

Sounds like maybe something did happen there (the silver lining is perhaps it wasn't physical, just emotional), but it also sounds like she's discovered the error of her ways on her own.

You're a soldier, you know "trust, but verify". Trust her now, but you know how to do some low-level confirmation that nothing's going down, so just check that out from time to time. If you find some compelling evidence, tune the old rabbit ears and pay closer attention, perhaps eventually confronting her with what you've learned, if you think she's doing something.

In any event, it sounds like what you described is over and done, and it sounds like she's trying to be a good wife now.

Answer 2

Un Chavo translated is like a boy. Could mean a few things it is relevent to the manner in which it was said. Trust is a hard issue and if you love her and trust her then give it a chance. Don't waste your time being a detective or hiring one. If she is hiding something then leave her. As her husband she should have no secrects from you and no cell phone calls you shouldn't know about. I went through something like that only in the context of a surprising phone bill. I called this number I seen often. Asked my husband who it was he told me a "friend" I called this friend and asked her who she was and he never got mad. We were having problems but he changed his number and never talked to her again. He knew her from work. She don't work there anymore either. It actually brought us closer because of it. If your wife is hiding calls and stuff she is up to no good

Answer 3

Watch out playa! I just caught my wife in what turns out to be a LONG relationship on the phone with a couple of dudes. Watch her like a hawk.

The lying part is was pissed me off. She did it so smooth until I knew the actual facts and caught her in the middle of them, I would have never known. Watch the hell out dude. Go into stealth mode and get her phone records. If you know the right info, you can get all the phone information from her cell phone providers internet site.

Hire the investigator, at this point she's guilty until proven inocent.

Answer 4

Well if it was me cheating the phone number probably would have been called about 15 times in a week.. I would be talking to them all the time, or just leaving a sweet message for them. It's possible that it was just a friend, but its also possible it was more. Just go with the flow and if you notice any more strange behavior or talking on the phone whispering then I would be a little worried. Use your own judgement.

Answer 5

Its been a while now since this happened. Let it go. But be on guard. Check phone bills and things like that. But really dont think she is doing anything. I think that maybe she did in the past. Now is feeling guilty. If you are happy with her now and I mean now. Just go on with your life with her. Dont dwell on something that you cant change. Enjoy the future with her and your children. Good Luck

Answer 6

i'm sorry which you're in Iraq and having to fret approximately such issues. i think of that the conflict in Iraq has been tough on too many protection stress marriages. i could be disappointed if I have been on your footwear. i does not like my significant different having those conversations together with his ex's. jointly as you're over in Iraq she could be respecting the vows you made. With that being suggested, you have basically been married 6 years and you're on your 2nd 12 month excursion. it is amazingly some time spent removed from one yet another. which may be complicated on even the superb marriage. Your spouse is possibly very lonely and worried approximately your protection. This possibly explains her habit. it may be super if she could carry out with different different halves whose husbands are in Iraq. it may be super for her, for you and to your marriage. this could supply her somebody to communicate to approximately her fears, loneliness and different concerns. Civilian different halves can not attainable understand the sacrifices a protection stress spouse makes. does not the protection stress have supplies for spouses of deployed squaddies? I recommend you steer her of their course. Getting indignant won't help the two certainly one of you. tell her you recognize the way she could be feeling. tell her you experience a similar way and which you're feeling undesirable for leaving her back. shop your communication going stable. deliver her many letters, emails, etc. so which you're continually in her ideas and she or he's familiar with she is often on your ideas. i wish this could help the two certainly one of you. superb needs and thank you for protecting our freedom.

Answer 7

Thanks for doing such a hard job w/many sacrifices in Iraq for us!!Marraige is a sacrifice too sometimes...try to reestablish trust,and further the connection in anyway you can until you are local and can go from there.goodluck

Answer 8

Personally, I feel that if you want to go digging around to find the truth, you will find it. Just ask yourself if you are ready to accept what ever the truth may be. Once you answer that question, then your decision will be made.

Answer 9

If she's cheated on you, but she's changed her ways for the better, why push it further? Leave things the way they are for now until something happens again.

Answer 10

since you are no longer seeing any signs of it, you should just drop it and forgive her if you think she did anything and move on. no use crying over spilt milk. and no reason to waste all that money on a PI. the truth is WAY overrated.