My wife wants me to make a Choose that will devastate our 4yr old or she will leave me HELP?

Question

while i was at work my 4 year old Daughter was bit by our(my wife and I)beloved 5yr old St Bernard dog Chris the bite was not severe but required stitches.The question is that my daughter has hit/slapped Chris on several occasions and was told never to ever do that again and I told my wife to NEVER EVER leave our daughter alone with Chris for the protection of Chris.And my wife fail to listen after she agreed it was a good idea
After the biting incident my wife and i agreed that it was a valuable lesson for are daughter to never hit helpless animals .Something we failed to teach where Chris succeeded Now they get along beautifully ....but my wife wants Chris euthanized.And this is one week after the incident.Sorry too late our daughter would be devastated and now she wants a separation what should i do.Will she change her mind? ....HELP

Answer 1

I have a beagle named Max, who is known for biting more like playing, but like your child, my 2 yr old son, hits Max & he sometimes tries to bite. Max has drawn blood on me before. My husband & I went round & round about this issue. He wanted to get rid of him. I refused. Now, I just watch them together, teach my son to respect him, & they are best friends & I am so glad we didn't get rid of him! Your wife would break your daughter's heart if you destroyed her buddy. Your little girl knows it was wrong to hit her doggy, & I bet she doesn't do it anymore. Just keep an eye on them while she's still young. Just like you would if 2 kids are playing, right?

Answer 2

I am sorry to tell you this but there is more to your wife's seperation than the dog. I am not trying to devalue or underestimate what the dog did but the dog I think is an excuse.
You need to sit down with your wife and tell her whilst you understand her feelngs towards the dog and baring in mind all the bad press dogs have had this week you feel there is a lot more to this than meets the eye.After all your wife should know what the dog means to your child just as much as you so why would she try and hurt your child as well that does not make sense to me.
Ask her what else she is unhappy with in your life at the moment what is it you are not saying or doing that is making her want and threaten a seperation. Loosing the dog is not your problem it is loosing your wife which will have a much more harmfull effect on your child way and above the dog i am afraid.
If you are able to sit down an pre see what is happening and talk open, honest and truthfull everything will get sorted for the better not the worst. Good luck

Answer 3

Your wife wants a separation over that? I very much doubt it must go deeper she is using this incident as a scapegoat. The question could be asked why the wife decided to wait a full week before wanting the dog put down; after it was clear the daughter was treating the dog much better.

You shouldn’t put the dog down it doesn’t deserve to die; it clearly bit your daughter because she hit it, which she had been told not to do. It’s also your wives fault for leaving the child alone with the dog, knowing your child had already slapped and hit the dog in the past. Lets face anyone here who had someone come up and slap or poke at them would eventually hit or poke back, that’s all the dog was doing. He’d had enough of this child hitting and poking him so he decided to teach her a lesson. From what you say she has learned it.

Don’t put Chris down if you must get rid of him find another good home for him possible with older children. The dog should not have to die because it did no wrong it was telling the girl in its own way not to be poking and slapping him.It be no different if your daughter was hitting children at preschool and they eventually after putting up with her, hit her back.

Answer 4

Try explaining to your wife that this was no fault of your dogs after all your daughter kept hitting the dog and im sure the dog had enough and just nipped her he could have been much more rought

I can see your wife worrying naturally thats your baby. But by the same token the dog should not have to pay with his life for this little girl smacking him around. If you were a dog you do the same thing

Why not comprimise and have the dog in a large crate either in doors or you can have him in a larger fenced in unit when the baby around. Also i would check with a veternairan or one of those sites that can help you with animals like a dog lover site. I'm sure your not the only one.

Answer 5

While I agree with your wife in principle, I think she goes a bit overboard with wanting the dog euthanized. Perhaps it would be possible to find a new home for the dog? If a dog shows a propensity for biting, especially such a large one, I would not want my small children around it anymore. While your daughter may be upset when the dog is placed into a different home, it would be far more devastating to lose her to an attack, no matter how far fetched you may think the possibility is right now. Her safety should always come first. It is virtually impossible to watch over the dog and child 24/7. Especially at your daughter's age when she is exploring and playing. The dog should go, not your wife.
Best of luck

Answer 6

I feel for you. I would HATE to get the dog put down, and it does sound like your little daughter asked for it. You can't blame the dog for defending itself.

However, you have to understand how a mother feels about her child. I know you love your daughter, but your wife would walk through fire for her. It's a natural reaction for her to want to remove any risk - and it's impossible to keep an eye on a four year old, every second of the day, so the dog IS still a risk. Your child may have learned a lesson, but kids of that age often need to learn a lesson more than once - so there's a chance she will mistreat the dog again, with the same consequences.

Is there any chance you could find a new home for Chris? I know it will be a dreadful wrench to lose him, but I don't think you're going to win this fight.

Answer 7

Come on dude, what is wrong with you???? Seems you love your dog more than your daughter........you cannot expect a 4 year old to behave like an adult with an animal - a 5 year old St. bernard for god's sake!!!!! That animal could have killed your daughter. See if you can get Chris neutered and see how that goes - it usually works wonders. But honestly, for the sake of family, have Chris euthanised, buy another dog (puppy), and involve your daughter in it's upbringing. Give her the responsibility she needs, and this will teach her to respect other living animals. I know coz I speak from experience of being a 4 year old that was bitten by a dog I slapped.

Answer 8

Wow! Sounds like you have a tough situation to deal with here. I think that if your wife was truly going to leave you over the dog then there are other issues there that she needs to deal with. Sounds like an excuse to me. I also think that the dog should be locked up if it cannot be watched while your daughter is present. I mean if the dog just attacked the child for no reason I could see her point, but the child was hitting the dog and probably has on more than one occasion. Seems like there should be some teaching going on here instead of killing or leaving. Just my humble opinion. Hope it all works out for you.

Answer 9

There really is no need to kill the dog for it's actions, it was simply protecting itsself. I went through this many times with my kids and cats, if they got bit or scratched it was their own fault. My sister is the BIGGEST ANIMAL LOVER on the planet, but she puts her kids first. She has a bird, a parrot, that she let out of the cage to associate with the family, when her baby daughter was born in March, this bird got jelous and beaked the baby in the head, almost by the soft spot, she made a tough choice, but she had to keep the bird locked up never to associate out of the cage again. If your daughter LOVES the dog, maybe you can compromise and let it stay out in the yard in a dog house, where a dog belongs, or else you'll be in the dog house with it. Your wife is serious, but I think that if you explain that you really want to keep the dog and are willing to let it outside, build a little fenced area for it to play in, maybe she will be okay with it. If not, then give the dog to another loving home, maybe afamily member with no kids? Or a friend! Good luck either way!

Answer 10

"now she wants a separation", your wife wants a seperation?
ok there are serious issues in what you said above, if my dog ever bit my child for whatever reason then he would have to go, wouldnt necessarily have him put down but what comes first safety of child or your dog? Above you said dont leave your child alone with your dog for your dogs protection? I think a 5 year old dog and especially a big one like you have can handle a five your old and plainly did. Am sure you didnt mean it but sounded like you were more interested in dogs safety than childs. Next time the bite could be severe, think about it...........Also if your wife wants a seperation over fact she wants dog killed and you dont though i may be wrong are you sure there arent other issues in your marriage? This could be a excuse to seperate for her, just a thought.

Answer 11

Difficult one, we had a dog, and she went for a friend of my daughters (aged 6years) we were not in the room we were outside and gave the dog the benefit of doubt, and thought she had maybe just jumped up at the girl because she was such a lovely dog that we thought she just would not do anything like that, my children would play rough with her and she never ever once turned on them. However I brought another girl home from School one day, our dog, just went up to her, I said don't worry she will just sniff you then all of a sudden she jumped up and bit her face, I managed to pull her off, but broke free and bit her arm. I was quite frightened, the children were and I just let go of her in the garden, ran in the house. We are all quite shaken up, the girl had blood dripping from her nose. Anyway, we phoned the Vet straight away, who came within the hour, and we had her put to sleep, it was awful and even now we don't know whether we had done the right thing, but at the time, we just could not risk it, luckily the girl had just a cut on her face, but her arm is scared for life, not nice when you have to go and tell the parents, that my dog has done that. We had to tell the children that we gave the dog to someone else, rather than telling them that we had her put to sleep. We were all walking around in a daze for weeks after, it was like losing a member of our family. Tough decision, but one only you can make together.