I looked around to see if anybody was as shocked as I was, and I started hearing comments that suggested that he was on the right road or that many of the had already been anorexic (one is bulimic) for a while now. I'm scared to look at my friends two years from now and see a group of friends with bones jutting out awkwardly and without enough energy to laugh...
#1- Is it normal for guy to worry so much about his weight?
#2- Any suggestions about what I can do about this?
2006-10-03 15:38:18 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Beauty & Style ➔ Skin & Body
1. no its not normal for a guy to worry so much about his weight
2. you can share your concerns. however, realize that you cant change another person. but please, share your concerns.
2006-10-03 15:40:10 · answer #1 · answered by Skorpian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...
I'm not sure i understand the whole culture nowadays of people actually being "proud" of having an eating problem- it seems that there is a growing trend for people to take on such a label or role with a badge of honor or a status symbol, almost as if it's been ingrained into our culture as "normal".
#1- No, it's not normal per se just as it's not for women/girls to excessively obsess about it either. But as one of the other posters mentioned, normalcy is not the issue- good health is.
#2- I don't know how close you and he are, or your ages, or your histories, but i would suggest talking to him (seriously, no joking, as it's not a joking matter) and let him know that you're open to him telling you anything that he needs to.
I'm 28 now, i had a problem with eating when i was about 14-16 that i didn't feel like i had any help with or outlet. for the longest time i didn't even realize i had a problem, then one day suddenly i looked in the mirror and realized what was going on. it took a lot of encouragement and actual confrontation with me from my parents before i realized that i wasn't exactly being the healthiest.
of course, if he's not just "doing this" to be silly or show off, but if it's really a problem, he might actually be flaunting it and treating it as a joke because he may realize that as a guy, there are next to no options for him when it comes to dealing with it. And so treating it as a joke may be the only way that he can process having the problem and not knowing what to do about it.
most guys that develop an eating disorder have to deal with it totally alone.
The best thing that you can do is treat him just as you always would try to treat anyone- as nicely and decently as possible.
Just be a friend to him- and maybe, if you can, talk with his parents or other friends to see if you can think of ideas on how to help him. But ultimately, what happens with him is up to him.
Good luck.
2006-10-06 07:59:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. It's not a matter of whether or not it's normal for a guy to worry about his weight. In comparison to women, very few men have eating disorders but normalcy is not something you should be worried about here, getting help is.
2. Suggestions:
-- Make sure he knows you care and that you don't approve. It depends on how serious he is...get him help if necessary.
-- From what I read I'd guess you're still in high school. If so, don't be afraid to tell school officials or even his parents. He might get mad at you for a bit, but in the long run it could save his life.
-- Read up on eating disorders. There is a lot of info on the internet. Search .edu's. I'd recommend reading Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia by Marya Hornbacher. It gives some insight into how twisted views of food can be when you're living with an eating disorder.
-- Back to number one, give him as much emotional support as you can.
2006-10-05 07:17:50 · answer #3 · answered by b e t h a n y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok...most guys do not worry about their weight...and that is why there are more fat men thatn fat women, FACT! I am a guy and I was anorexic a long time ago. Tell your friend that it is fun at the moment but he will suffer in the end. I got soo skinny my liver started to fail and I had to start eating or I would have died. I got over it finally (after lots of hard work) but my liver is still messed up...now my weight fluxuates every month...one ill be fat...the other ill be skinny...i should have just went on a nutritional diet and worked out regularly instead of trying to get out of it by going the easy way....
2006-10-05 09:50:10 · answer #4 · answered by Father Martin Louis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is so tough because it;s bad enough when a girl has anorexia but its so weird when a guy does, it bothers me even more, doesn't seem normal. We think my brother has it. he never eats and he is skeletal. I tell him all the time that girls don't want scronny boys, but i think it's more than that to him, and i dont understand it even though i have had eating issues myself, i cant relate to a guy with the same problem.usually guys want to be big and buff, not skeletal and small
it's very scaary that you're group of friends is pro-ana, the fact that they encourage it is very bad, and the fact that they have eachother and are open about it is really scary! i think it's so good that you don't follow though.
they may lose weight at first but that can do a lot of damage to them in time!
try talking to a guidance conclelor at school and voicing your concerns. They can help you more with what you can do. I'd suggest trying to talk to your friends, and telling them that it is bad for them and there is a healthier way to lose weight, and not to encourage other people with their problems. it isnt fair to promote unhealthiness to anyone. However, i don't think they will listen much. they have their minds set. all you can do is voice your concerns, and tell them you dont want them talking about it around you b/c it make s u uncomfy. tell you you care about them and worry and if they need to talk you are there but you don't agree with their lifestyle and they shouldn't push it on others.
i think people that gloat about having anorexia just want people to think they have a lot of control...and that they are skinny...it's become some sort of fad. but the real dangers lie in the poeple who hide it, are ashamed yet can't stop, where is controls them. maybe this phase will pass with them because it seems that they are just trying it out because it seems like the new thing to do. (it seriously is a fad, just look at the pro-ana websites). some people try and be anorexic because they want that control, they want to be small,they want attention, but it won't last.Others, yes it is a serious health concern. I guess it just all depends on the individual situation
good luck
2006-10-03 15:46:01 · answer #5 · answered by 47skittles 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People think I'm anorexic but I don't have the will power to not eat. I have thought about trying to make myself thiner for a lot of reasons: gaining weight would be a drastic change and I fear change, I used to compare my self to celebs which is uncommon, and once I wanted to be thinner after seeing The Masicist(I thought if I made a monster of myself I would know what people thought of me and wouldn't have to worry, I was also going to get swastika tats). So the mind of a man can be strange just let it be though.
2006-10-05 16:55:52 · answer #6 · answered by veritas8463 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1- It would amaze, shock and baffle if he wasn't concerned about his appearance. Whether guys want to admit it or not, they are just as self concious about their weight as women are, if not more so.
#2- Tell your friends how you feel, but be careful that when you do tell them, you don't sound like you're disgusted or accusing them of doing something wrong. As some one who has recovered from an eating disorder (bulimia, which didn't suit me, then anorexia), I can tell you that unless you explain your feelings in a gentle and caring yet firm you're-hurting-yourself way, they won't listen or even stop talking to you. If they won't listen, show them before and after (if you can find them) or just plain after pictures of people with Anorexia Nervosa. Most of the time, that will shock them into realizing they are sick. My wake up call was when I found myself lying on the bathroom floor unable to move for an hour because I was so physically drained after I went a full week without even the tiniest of snacks and then forced myself to throw up after binging on half the food at my grandparents place. Luckily though, I got really bad really fast and was able to hit bottom before I did permanent damage. Your friends though seem to know what they are doing and will hurt themselves before figuring it out on their own.
If one decides to come around and face the music, a good start would be to teach them portions to eat. I found a good descriptions of these portions on a website for those who are Anna. Over time, these portions can be made bigger and healthier.
Ultimately, hun, all you can do is stick by them and help them. You can't really force them to do something they don't want to, but there is one way to do so. Because of how sneaky it is, and potentially considered back stabbing regardless of effectiveness, I would only advise it in dire circumstances and you will have to e-mail me to get it.
Hope I've helped!
2006-10-07 00:32:58 · answer #7 · answered by Shel K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not normal for ANYONE (guy or girl) to worry so much about his/her weight. Depending on how much you care about these people who claim to have eating disorders, if they are minors (living with their parents/ in high school/ etc.), TELL THEIR PARENTS. Many parents do not know this is going on and would appreciate it if they knew this about their children. People CAN DIE from eating disorders.
If these friends are adults, either ditch them as friends or get their families involved because this is NO LAUGHING MATTER.
2006-10-04 14:39:54 · answer #8 · answered by aliatenate 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anorexia is a serious health problem. Our bodies and our organs need proper nutrition to thrive, it can cause a great deal more than just weight loss. It can cause death! I'm sorry for anyone who has to love someone with such a serious health problem. Education I guess is the key. Try to research for books and information that you can use to help him. In the mean time take good care of yourself, thrive and flaunt it. Check out this site with a lot of healthy living and nutrition tips, they also have a listing of books.
http://www.recipes-for-a-healthy-home.com/nutrition.html
2006-10-03 15:45:55 · answer #9 · answered by Mom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Eww, creepy. Does he look anorexic? Maybe he's just making it up. I used to be bulemic for awhile, but a guy friend chewed me out for it, and scared me to death with all these stories about how you can get cancer and stuff and die from it. Tell him being anorexic isn't something to be proud of, and tell your bulemic friend that it's not good to be purging unless you want to get very sick. But you know they probably won't listen. I know I hated it when people told me to stop, so he might just get had at you for it. I always told people it was my choice, not theirs. I had to realize that it's not a healthy thing to do.
2006-10-06 15:28:39 · answer #10 · answered by glimlach 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there is a percentage of men out there who are anorexic. Many people think that this is only a female's problem, but they are WRONG.
That is odd that he talked about it... many people with eating disorders are very secretive about it. It is very hard to convince people to change. Try talking to a professional counsellor and see what they suggest.
Good luck, and kudos to you for being a caring friend.
2006-10-03 15:47:32 · answer #11 · answered by willow oak 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋