Whats the best way to bring this up?

Question

I am leaving my ridiculous excuse of an alcoholic husband and I am going to need my mother's help. My husband doesn't come home half the time and if he does I'm always worried that he'll be drunk. I have a 4 month old daughter now and I refuse to raise her around that nonsense so I NEED to get out of here. I just feel like I would be imposing if I ask to move in with her. She knows my situation and sh and her husband have offered to help me before, but I have too much pride. I want to get out of here as soon as possible but I just don't know how to bring it up to her and her husband. Like I said, I know they'll help but I want to ask without sounding like a moocher. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I would just say something like this:

Mom, I am ready to leave Bubba, his drinking is too much for me and I don't think it's healthy for Tiffany to be raised around a hardcore alcoholic. I need your help while I get on my feet. I know you've offered in the past, but I don't want to be a leech. If I come to stay with you, would you be okay with me helping out around the house while I sort out my life, find a job and day care, and eventually get out on my own with my baby girl? It's important to me that I be as independent as possible, even though I need some help right now.

Answer 2

Tell her you are leaving your husband and want out as soon as possible. Ask her if there is any way you can stay with her until you can get a place of your own or if she would be willing to help you with deposit and first months rent on a reasonable place. I would only stay with her no more than a few months so you don't impose in her life. I'm sure she will be more than willing to help in any way possible. Just talk to her. I wish you all the luck and best wishes. You are brave and smart to do this for you and your daughter. Good luck!

Answer 3

Very humbly, go to your Mother and just say something like "Mom
I know you have tried and asked me before in the past about helpping me move out and I have not taken it because I've let my pride get in the way but if the offer is still there I could really use the help." And then I'm sure she will tell you that she and her husband will be there for you and your baby. Good Luck

Answer 4

You are right by leaving that is the best thing for your daughter. I would swallow your pride before your alcoholic husband harms you or the baby, and just stay with your mom until you can get on your feet. I am sure the pride you feel you will lose by asking to move in would be less devastating then your daughter getting harmed by her father. Good luck and I wish you the best.

Answer 5

Go over to your mothers one day and sit her down and say mom remember the time you said you and dad would help me is that door still open to me? let her respond.. and say well things have gotten worse at home and you know I wouldnt' ask you this is tough for me as well. You know i've always been independent but I sure could use your help..

Then for you as you hate being a moocher or burden get out and get a job asap so you can move out and give yorur parents back there space and you can feel better about doing it on your own.

in the meantime help yourmother out in anything that would make her life easier while your there. and still give everyone there privacy.

You'll be back on your feet in no time.

GOod luck

Answer 6

Believe me, family helping family is not mooching unless you allow it to turn into mooching. I will bet your mom and stepdad will be more than happy to help you out until you can get on your feet and will be sad for the marriage breakup but happy that you decided to get out of a bad situation. Just ask her if the offer of help is still good and that you have decided to leave. Just make sure of your decision before you do it. If you do the whole back and forth thing then sooner or later your family will give up on you leaving the mess in a decisive manner and getting on with your life in a more productive way.
Good luck

Answer 7

You won't seem like a "moocher". She offered the help and you hadn't reached your limit at that time. Go to her explain what you just told us and ask her if the offer is still open. When your there help out the best you can, if you help out your mot a moocher.Also if your husband hasn't admitted his problem something drastic like this might help his realize. My husband is now 4 yrs sober and we are back together and doing 100% better. When your out of the house try and bring up the problem with him maybe he will listen!

Hope everything goes the way you want it to. My prayers are with you.

Answer 8

Don't worry about what you look like. The most important thing is getting you and your baby daughter out of a bad situration. I left my alcoholic husband 12 years ago and my kids were 8 years old and 11 years old. I didn't care what anyone thought, I knew I had to get out. You deserve better and it's time you do it. Call your mom and tell her you are leaving him and need a place to stay until you get on your feet. Trust me, she will be there for you . Good Luck and God Bless!!!

Answer 9

Remove yourself and the baby from the situation...
Call your parents and ask them to come and have a meeting with you. It might be better to discuss this on your turf. Let them know you have decided to leave the drunkard and need their help.
Soon, you can stand alone, get a job and make some preparations to move out on your own. There are millions of women doing it and you can, too. Good luck.

Answer 10

You don't sound like a moocher. Trust me, they probably WANT you to move in with them so they can help you; espcecially considering the circumstances.
Just be straight up. Ask if you can stay with them until you get situated somewhere. Tell them, it won't be very long. Let her know that you're not fishing for any handouts and you will help them with whatever you can.
Good luck!