my best friend for many years has basically abandoned me since i got pregnant with my 1sts child. my daughter is almost 1 now and i confronted my friend on why she hasnt been around and why she associate herself with other friends with kids but not me. she confessed that she is jealous and doesnt know how to get over it. i feel she has done things to spite me recently and for her to bring my baby girl into it upsets me... she has lots of friends that have kids, why is she treating me this way, is the friendship worth saving? also she lives around the corner and never visits my daughter and i go out "socially " with her and other friends as often as a new mom can. i dont feel that i have changed and my other friends have all treated me the same as usual. advice please!!!
2006-10-03 15:27:24 · 21 answers · asked by livsmom 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
i have talked to my friend several times and feel like i am beating a dead horse- i dont know if the friendship can be salvaged as now i feel if she makes an effort after all this time it is a phoney one
2006-10-03 15:36:21 · update #1
u say "BACK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
2006-10-03 15:29:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is jealous of what you have. I had a very good friend all through high school, once we graduated and I met my now husband, she was no longer around. Now five years later she runs into my mom and wants to know how everything is going, and for me to call her(I had recently moved to a different state, and my mom didn't know my new number by memory yet). Anyway, a few months later I called her, and you know what happened? She thought she had a better life than me, that is the only reason that she wanted to contact me. Her boyfriend and her had a little girl. But once she found out I had two little girls, and my husband worked while I stayed at home with the girls, But she still had to work, that was it. I haven't heard from her since, and that was about 4 months ago.
There are some people that always feel that they are in competition all the time.
Your friend is jealous because you have a baby, which makes you the winner right now.
Its not worth the hassle. I reached out and tried with my ex-friend, and so did you by confronting her.
If you still want to be friends with her, which I don't know why you would, but explain to her that you decided to have a baby and it had nothing to do with her. You weren't trying to be better than her. Maybe that will help.
2006-10-03 15:42:26 · answer #2 · answered by tnmomof2as 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new friend. My best friend did the same thing to me. So did some other people I knew. As soon as I had my son, they were all googley eyed over him. After about 3 months, nothing. No one called, no one stopped by, nothing. It really sucks, but it's something you just have to deal with. It's hard to think that someone could be like that, but sadly, it's true. I would suggest finding a playgroup to take your daughter to so you can meet some other mommies who aren't jealous over a baby.
2006-10-03 15:45:42 · answer #3 · answered by ★Fetal☆ ★And ☆ ★Weeping☆ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your new daughter has taken the time and emotional energy you used to invest in your friend. New fathers feel the same displacement and jealousy, and it's often very difficult for new moms to understand why their husbands feel left out.
If you want to maintain the friendship with your girlfriend, you can choose to involve her more in your life. Your baby isn't really the issue.
2006-10-03 15:33:53 · answer #4 · answered by Mmerobin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats horrible that she would exclude you like that and it made me sad just reading it. i have a wonderful 3 year old but if my friend where to have a baby that was 10 times cuter and smarter of course id be a lil jelous but id still love her and her baby just as much. i know its hard to tell someone how you feel especially with something like this so id maybe jus tell her you miss her and would like to spend some more time with her. if she doesnt come around or respect your feelings its not worth it she isnt a good friend i know it hurts but sometimes its better to move on and find new friends than to be constintley be hurt by the old ones oh and take it as a compliment that you have a baby she is jelous about you must have one special girl! good luck
2006-10-03 15:32:44 · answer #5 · answered by Emily May 11/10/08 :) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is being ridiculous. There may be a different reason for her actions that she is not telling you because that is the lamest thing I have ever heard! I don't se why you would want to keep such an immature friend but FRIENDS FORGIVE EACH OTHER!! That is what they do. If she refuses to act like an adult about thi hen just over look it. She Will come around sooner or later.
2006-10-03 15:41:35 · answer #6 · answered by charity2882 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Babies change your life and priorities. Your friend may not understand until she has a family of her own. I know this sounds hard and unsympathetic, but it's probably best to make friends with similar interests. Since your baby is probably the biggest part of your life now, you'll probably get more satisfaction and more understanding friends if you befriend other mothers of young children.
2006-10-03 15:41:21 · answer #7 · answered by makingthisup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This does not sound like a very good friend. She should want to share this special moment in your life. The way she is acting is unbelievably juvenile.
I don't see the point in having friends like this. Focus on your daughter, you don't need this extra stress in your life.
2006-10-03 15:31:07 · answer #8 · answered by CC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
their must be something else, but the continuation of the Friend ship depends how much the Friend ship is wort's for you, you are the one who should diced to help your Friend and overcome the difficulty that she has with you at the present time , or live her alone, and let the time diced about that , but that is surly more than your baby girl.
2006-10-03 15:35:28 · answer #9 · answered by santa s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give up the friendship. The most important thing in your life is child that depends on you for everything.
2006-10-03 15:29:54 · answer #10 · answered by mary texas 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you are placing way too much importance on this.
You obviously have other friends. Until she can act like a mature friend, just ignore her. She's playing you for attention, punishing you because she's jealous, and you are playing along with it. Stop it.
It's like a little kid who sits around and whines because he can't have dessert when he wouldn't eat his supper. You can't just sit there wheedling him. No is no and just walk away. That's what is going on here.
If she wants a baby, she should have one... or adopt if she can't. Not your problem. Period.
I♥♫→mia☼☺†
2006-10-03 15:57:49 · answer #11 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋