Dating someone with a child...discipline?
I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. His son is 5 (was 3 when we began dating). My question is this: His son and I get along great and have alot of fun together. On the rare occasions he doesn't listen to me or does something he knows not to do, Dad immediately steps in an says "jane" asked you to ......). When I'm alone with his son (when the BF is working etc) if he misbehaves, we always work it out with a conversation. I would like to handle those situations myself when dad is around also, but also feel as if it's not really my place since Dad is there and I'm not his mother. I'm torn on the discipline / time out angle. Is this something I should avoid all together since I'm not his biological parent? Do I just let Dad step in and handle those situations? I don't want him to learn that he doesn't need to respect and/or listen to what I say either. Anyone that has dealt w/ this issue please help !!
2006-10-03 15:05:11 · 12 answers · asked by earthlove32 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you and the dad need to discuss what is aprropiate and what isnt some times a child bonds better with a stepparent than the biological parent and if you are in his life and plan to stay there then you need to talk with the dad without the child present then he needs to talk with the child that way the child knows what is to be expected instead of guessing
2006-10-03 15:09:11 · answer #1 · answered by kitkat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to your boyfriend about the situation, and let him know that you want to be able to handle the situation with the little tyke when he is and isnt around. Since he introduced you to the little guy, hes obviously an important part of your life and theirs. The little guy also needs to listen to other people and respect everyone. So you wanting to discipline him is a good idea, as long as you and your boyfriend talk and agree on punishments (or consequences). Remember, its his ACTIONS and his CONSEQUENCES... you arent doing anything to upset him or make his life horrible...hope this helped!
2006-10-03 15:12:17 · answer #2 · answered by pinkpolkadots34 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to discuss this with the bf. When he's around, he should definitely be the one doling out the discipline. But, when you are left alone to babysit, you have to be able to set rules, so there has to be an agreement on what will be done- time-outs etc.
2006-10-03 15:08:07 · answer #3 · answered by from HJ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a nanny and I understand how hard it is to discipline someone else's children, but i suggest that you talk to your BF about the situation. When it comes to his son I think that you should definitely pull him in to line, he is always testing you.... Children are so smart he is just testing you!! :)
2006-10-03 15:10:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kids need disipline where ever and who ever they are with as it will make them grow and learn to respect others talk to your partner and just say that you would like to help discipline the child, my partner has been helping me with it now for a year and it has help because he was getting really bad not listening to me and all and now he does and if he doesnt well my partner steps in and is strong about it not nice but strong has never and will never smack but he just uses his voice. good luck.
2006-10-03 15:10:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to straighten it up with your boyfriend. If he's planning to be your husband someday, then, it should also be your concern. Ask him directly if it's fine with him if you can inculcate discipline on his child, only upto the extent that he agree. Sometimes, you just can't deny the fact that they will have different world, in some ways, because the child has her mother. ..... And if you choose to enter their world, you must COMPROMISE.
2006-10-03 15:11:46 · answer #6 · answered by ivy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm a parent who married with 2 outside children and i wanted my husband to get use to discipline my children because kids will take a inch and make it a mile
2006-10-03 15:13:06 · answer #7 · answered by jumiboo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no longer inevitably, lol this is talked approximately as a date, i think of through fact they set a date mutually on which they're gonna bypass out. i think of distinctive human beings do dissimilar issues on their dates.
2016-12-08 08:00:50 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His Dad should tell him to respect your decisions.
To be good friends with the boy can help too.
2006-10-03 15:09:02 · answer #9 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no discussions what so ever discipine is the domain of the parent.do not interfere.it is different if you are married.keep out of bf's way
2006-10-03 15:16:32 · answer #10 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋