Should My girlfriend be like this ?

Question

My Girlfriend is 5 months pregnant, and she is always checking my phone,emails and what ive downloaded on the internet, she gets really angry if i have been looking at naked women ( and she claims they are all thin ones) or even talking to other females,please give me some advice as to weather she should be acting in this way, Do i need to be more understanding and supportive ?

Answer 1

I'm not a woman or married to a pregnant woman. If that will cause you not to listen to me, read this paragraph. If not, skip to the next paragraph. I have been married to an extremely sweet woman for 6 years who has never been jealous or pregnant. This gives me a unique perspective. How can my wife never being jealous cause me to know anything about this? Here's how. I don't look at porn or even look at other women sexually. I think they are beautiful but, bro, you know there's a difference between observing beauty and checking a woman out. You can observe your sister's beauty, but you check out those women in that porn you look at. So if you are looking at a woman in a way that you wouldn't look at your sister, then it's checking her out. No joke, I really only look at my wife. That's why she's not jealous. I'm also 100% honest with her about every feeling, action, and thought. I don't recommend that, it's not for most couples. Sorry that took long but I had to give you a little of my background because many people aren't wise enough to listen to advice, consider it open-mindedly, and then come to a decision of their own. Most people would rather figure out who has the most experience and then follow whatever that person says blindly. I've read everyone’s answers to you and, as you can see, even though all of these people are very qualified to answer your question, they have given you many different answers and some contradict others. So experience doesn't mean that the person is completely right. It just means they have a different prespective. It's up to you to decide what pieces of advice you will take from each of us and together I hope we can all help you.

Ladies, if you would, please vote yes or no on my answer to tell him a female perspective of this comment that I am about to make because, really, (besides his and her perspectives) that is the perspective that matters most. I am guessing that her feeling unattractive, her hormones, and everything that women commonly feel even when they allow their men to look at pornography might not be the main thing that is upsetting her right now. The main thing might be that she is afraid for her child that she might lose you. If that's true then she will protect that child at cost to you, herself, and even if it damages your relationship (as it is right now). You are threatening the one thing that she would sacrifice everything for, her child. Even though everyone has expressed different views about pornography's place in a relationship, how you should handle her, and even if she should be like this or not, all of our comments have had one thing in common: you should quiet her fears. There are many ways to do that, listen to these great yahoo answers and decide what will work best with her.

Pornography can be as addictive as drugs, in some cases, sexual addictions can be stronger than drug addictions and a harder habit to break. I've read a lot about this recently. You know this because you realize that laying off the porno for a while or quitting it entirely would really be agreeable with her and yet you've come to us fighting to keep your porno. You know her, I don't. Maybe letting her know how addictive it is will help. From what I've read and been told by some major porn addicts, it doesn't matter how attracted they are to their girlfriend, or how unattractive the stripper/porn star is, they just are addicted to going to the strip club and the act of searching the web for a picture or video to add to their collection. In many people it's not about the porn, it's the act of acquiring it or going to the strip club with your buddies for it. Maybe you can take an honest look at why you are into it and discuss that with her. At this point, it has become an issue and needs to be discussed.

There are many things to say but I will only go into one more because I feel it is even more important than this whole issue. You asked if she is over-reacting or if you need to be more flexible. That's really cool that you are willing to make changes if you are in the wrong. Your question implies that if she's in the wrong that you would not change even though your actions are upsetting her. It seems that you believe that a person should determine what's a fair amount to give to their partner and vice versa, and if both couples give their fair share, the relationship will work. Technically that's true but as you can see in your situation, when a couple disagrees on what amount of giving is fair, you end up with a problem. In this situation, one or both of you isn't giving enough to your partner so you can't meet in the middle. This 50/50 way of making a relationship fair is the reason why most marriages end in divorce or unhappiness. Many people approach a relationship like a business arrangement instead of a union of two people that love each other. In business you try to get the most you can while giving the least you can. In a marriage you try to give the most you can and take the least. If you are planning to be faithful to her while raising this child, you will end up in a common law marriage. Just because there isn't a ring on her finger doesn't mean that as a man you are obligated to be a good husband and father. Your relationship will determine how your kid's relationships will be. You have to make it a success for your baby. She already knows this and is acting on it, and now you should, too. Make it your resolve to give to her as much as you can instead of giving to her only as much as she gives to you, and tell her about your new resolve. Giving can be very contagious, but so can being selfish in a relationship. You two can create an upward spiral of giving to each other and consideration. Isn't that the example you want to set for your baby?

Although you are both entitled to your private thoughts, perhaps a little more open communication would be a good way to enhance your closeness. Let her read these yahoo answers and your question. Discuss it with her, tell her how you feel, tell her you want to do right by her and that's why you asked this question on yahoo. Tell her you care about your relationship, the baby, and her feelings. During that conversation, remember, it takes 2 to fight, but it only takes 1 person to defuse a bomb. A kind word can stop rage dead in it's tracks.

Many people want to get the most out of their relationship without putting much effort into it. Always seek ways to make your relationship better and you will get ten times more than you give, both of you will.

Answer 2

If you were in a wheelchair (and i dont wish that its an example) would you like it if she was perving on other men? Maybe even the fact that she is pregnant with your child would you like it if she was looking at others?I know i would feel insecure at a time when i should be feeling glowing and proud an spending time with my partner and my partner should be absolutely wrapped at my growing bump and how sexy it is that 2 ppl can make another life and watch it grow. Why do you need to look at others? Ask yourself that because you are in a commitment that is ment to be for life and consideration and communication is a big part of that.Put yourself in her shoes is all im saying , because if there is no trust respect and communication her shoes just might be one day walking out the door before or after the birth.Good luck ...when you have your precious baby arrive i think it will make you look at things in a whole diff way.

Answer 3

I am 7 months pregnant myself and I think that maybe you should consider paying your girlfriend more attention and tell her she is beautiful and sexy as I guarantee she doesn't feel it. Her knowing you look at naked women on the internet or wherever else just makes her feel more like a fat, vomiting, windy, hormonal mess! Pregnant women are very quick to feel insecure about every tiny little body change we go through and one of your jobs as her partner is to make sure she feels as though you only have eyes for her and that she is in fact a blooming and blossoming woman who is carrying your child. Do yourself a favour and put the nudey women on hold for now - if you can't do this then maybe a litttle more discretion may be in order? Also, my husband has discovered the phrase "yes dear" helps immensely - even if he's really thinking "of course not you stupid woman!"

Answer 4

Relax, your girl is just worried that she's gonna have to deal with this whole baby thing alone. She feels fat, unattractive and emotional, which makes her think you see her in the same way. When you look at other naked women or even talk to other women, she feels replaced because she has such a low opinion of herself. This, while a little crazy, is normal. Relax and support her fully, she needs to know how sexy you think her baby body is, she needs to know when she looks nice, and most of all she needs to be reassured that even if she never looks like she used to you will find her sexy anyway. Assure her that you will be there for her and baby. If it doesnt get better, keep in mind, theres only 4 months left, hang in there.

Answer 5

Yes, you should be more understanding because you would know about it if you were pregnant. Due to the fact when you’re pregnant your hormones are all over the place, so she is obviously going to be more upset and emotional, for crying out loud she's got a baby growing inside of her. This will press down on her bladder making her want to go to the toilet more often and feel extremely tried and frustrated. Just try to be more understanding and tell her you love her and you’ll be fine.

Hope this helps

Answer 6

Shes going through a massive change right now and she may be scared that you may flit when the baby comes cos lots of blokes do-Treat her take her for a meal-do something for her that makes her feel like a queen-she deserves it-Shes bringing your perfect precious baby into the world-What are you doing looking at other women ??? you should only have eyes for her-She has every right to be angry cos if you were my bloke I would cut the internet service off.BE NICE TO HER.

Answer 7

The question isn't "SHould my girlfriend be like this?" It's "should YOU be like this?". Looking at naked women while your girlfriend is pregnant with your kid. And you wonder why she might feel insecure... maybe it has something to do with the absence of a ring around her finger. If you leave her, that is the end, and she is stuck with your baby. I'd probably feel a little nervous too.

Answer 8

Sounds like she feels a bit insecure being pregnant and fat right now youc an understand. Make sure you pay attention to her and keep telling her how beautiful she is . And re assure her your completely satisfied with her. Probably didnt' help her finding your skinny girl pictures. that gave her cause to worry about her own body and how big she is becomming over the pregnancy.

Just be really supportive. If you can make her feel and know she's the only one. your life will go easier and less headaches for you. So really its in your best interest to win her over with your charms and making her feel secure. You will breath easier your self.

So you both win on this one

Answer 9

Try to grow a pumpkin under your belt, sleepless night, worry about whether everything will be ok, worry that you've done something that will harm the baby, and feel horrible about the way you look.... that's partly how she must feel!
She is probably more insecure than she would like to admit, more scared than she claims. She needs your attention and unconditional love. Jealousy might kick in and although she needs to get a grip on it, you should also understand that she is probably scared out of her wits.
Can you stop looking at other women? that should be a given! treat her nicely, reassure her that you love her (and not just in words but in deed too! flowers, footrub, decorate the babyroom and prepare for the birth... be nice to her! she needs it

Answer 10

If your girlfriend wasn't like this prior to pregnancy, then relax and be understanding because her hormones are all out of whack.. She isn't feeling attractive, and is very paranoid. I felt very much the same way although I didn't take to accusing or being suspicious of my husband's activities.
Make an extra effort to be attentive to her.. Let her know you still find her just as attractive and maybe even more so because she is having your child. This is an exciting time, but can also be very trying on her emotions. Be understanding and it won't last forever.

Answer 11

I feel so sorry for you. Pregnant women are crazy. Turst me I was one twice. Its very normal for her to feel insecure and jealous. The poor girl is going though so many changes. She feels fat and ugly, your looking at naked chicks, and you cant feel what shes feeling or going through because your not pregnant. What I would do is ditch the naked chicks, constantly tell her that she is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen, (and just when you think you told her enough that day tell her 10 more times) not because you are trying to make her feel good. Because she was beautiful when you met her and she is even more beautiful now because she is going to be the mother of the beautiful baby both of you created. (Did I tell you I was good) Im telling you this all from experience.
Good Luck!