My husband of 5 yrs. is going out of his way to get in touch with a "friend' from High school (7yrs ago) she denied his friend request so he emailed her, I am extremely upset because not only did he not tell me, but he doesnt see anything wrong with it.....we have an abnormally "perfect" relationship and this is so out of the norm, which is another reason why i'm so surprised, am i in the wrong for being upset....or do i have a right? We havent talked for all day, should he come to me? I tried explaining my side, but he still doesnt see anything wrong with it..........HELP PLEASE!!!
I should add, on his defense, I also have a myspace, with friends from high school.....HOWEVER......he has met these 2 guys, and one was even invited to our wedding! I have never met nor heard of this woman hes trying to get in touch with. My point is ................if they were such good "friends" in high school, why have they not kept in touch for the past 6 year
2006-10-03 14:40:54 · 27 answers · asked by *S* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should add that she did respond and was very excited to hear from him......I dont know why she denied him to begin with..........Also he told me and everybody else, and his family has told me that I was his first girlfriend, so her being an ex wasnt a thought in my mind, i did talk to him, and asked him if he was bored or regreted marrying his first girlfriend, and he once again, said he didnt mean anything by it, he loves me, doesnt regret anything....blah, blah, blah, yet he had all day to respond to her email, and since she emailed him she also sent him a friend request.......which he has yet to deny or approve.
2006-10-03 14:41:53 · update #1
samber,
Get a book ... "The Lift and Times of Loreana Bobbit" and place it on the night stand .... filp through the pages so he can see you reading it ..... If that don't keep him honest ... nothing will....as for the "Old Friend" ... Your the rear deal or he would not have married you ...dont be jealous of a high school memory.
She got the signed year book and you got the man!
Which would you rather have?
Happy endings be yours!
2006-10-03 15:04:02 · answer #1 · answered by John 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there are some trust issues here and no matter how "perfect" you relationship has been, these issues have always been present they're just now coming out into the open. Too much drama over something that should be fun. Sorry to say, maybe you need to start checking into other things and find out what's really going on. THis is from personal experience. Once you start looking you might not like what you find, but you might not find anything. Better safe than divorced and broke.
2006-10-03 21:53:32 · answer #2 · answered by Fritzle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off calm down. Do you trust your husband? If your answer is yes, then you have nothing to be worried about. If your answer is no, then I would reexamine your relationship.
So he contacted a friend from HS--what does that mean? Maybe he remembered a memory and wanted to reconnect. There's nothing to say that he can't find a friend after 7 years. Maybe she WAS one of his best friends. Why would deny him that?
He didn't have to tell you since there doesn't seem to be anything romantic about it.
Really though, it sounds like you two need to really have a discussion. Maybe MySpace isn't the best for two married people to be on. Maybe My Space isn't what you both need right now. Be honest, listen to each other, and keep the tone calm.
Talk through it. Don't explain to us how terrible your husband is; get out of this victim mode. You aren't the victim.
Act like adults and you'll be fine. Don't jump to conclusions--it's never good for anyone.
2006-10-03 21:45:16 · answer #3 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have every right to not be ok w/ it. Some people still look at the internet like it's fake but it is real.
My husband was on my space months ago and he did the same thing. I thought it was wrong because I looked at it like it would be the same as writing a letter to an old friend(girl) or talking to her on the phone. He did not see it that way. I was pretty hurt because he would only send messages to her when he was at work so I could not even tell what they were talking about since they were only friends. I never knew her so I told him I was going to message her and if they were going to have anything to do w/ eachother she had to know who I was too and she was going to add me. He was ok w/ it and so was she.
Eventially he ended my space and had nothing to do w/ her again. I was on my space too but I only excepted female friends and felt that was respecting my husband.
I would talk to him If I were you. If they add eachother as friends do what I did but let him know you have the right to be her friend too. If he is not ok w/ it or even if she is not ok w/ it then they should not even be friends.
Some on here are talking about trust isues and that is not always the case. A married couple need to compromise and make it right if something is uncomfortable and something like this can be and they need to repect eachothers feelings.
It's not really a good place for couples to be and it mostly is about dating.
2006-10-03 21:58:24 · answer #4 · answered by sarah 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Myspace is such a weird animal. It's so easy to request people as friends or drop them from your friends list once they are on, regardless of how you may feel (or not feel) in real life. I can understand how this hurts you (I went through something similar with my fiance) but it may be possible that this means more to you than it does to him. I'm not saying that he may be completely innocent, but maybe he's just going through some sort of nostalgic period and want to get in touch with people from way back when.
Just remember...you've been married to him for 5 years (and it sounds like you both got married young). There's a reason for that...you both trusted each other enough to get to this point. Take what he says with a grain of salt if you must, but give him the benefit of the doubt. If he's gonna cheat, he's gonna cheat, but I think that sometimes guys just think that it's cool to have a plumped up friends' list too.
Best wishes!
2006-10-03 21:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by everfair 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in a similar situation. I understand you maybe a little upset, but he may not have had a way to get in touch with her.
So he may be trying to catch up on old times. I think you may have a few trust issues. You need to sit back and look at your relationship. Ask him some things about her. He got to know your 2 guy friends...why not try to get know her, you may become really good friends with her. Ask some things about her and see if you can tell her Hi as well as maybe introduce yourself. Do you trust your husband 100%...this may be a good test.
2006-10-03 22:35:48 · answer #6 · answered by Just another day 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you think that is bad i found my husband signing up for several XXX websites...saying he isnt married and has no kids and so on.I did get so pist off at him cuz he did it right when he arrived in Kwait for his first tour in Iraq. He gave me some nonsense bull that he was afraid I was going to leave him. I told him I have never said or done anything to make him think that. So it was all fine then after his 2 week leave I found another e-mail addy with nothing but tuns more of the same sites on it. So either way he was going to do it. I went to the higher ranking officers and complained complained complained...I think you have the right in a marriage there should be no secrets between eachother.
2006-10-03 21:50:53 · answer #7 · answered by Misty C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it. Guys and girls communicate in different ways and place empahsis and different things. I meet a lot of my good high school friends when I joined myspace that I hadn't talked to since shortly after graduation.
People go their different ways and lose touch with each other. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Don't act like you don't care if you do, let me know exactly what it is that is bothering you. Good communication is one of the keys to a relationship.
2006-10-03 21:50:12 · answer #8 · answered by coymelancon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I honestly think u have reason to be upset. ALOT of times when u talk with people on line you know u will NEVER EVER meet them! Its all some crazy game some play! BUT this girl he knows-has dated-his entire family knows BUT YOU! If he truly loves you and respects your feelings then he needs to stop the crap now and put all of his energy into his marriage. TRUE only talking on the net isnt leading to anything physical- u cant touch thru the screen BUT what happens when it leads to one innocent little lunch in person? Put your foot down and get rid of the keyboard if u have too! Hang on to your man and keep the hussy away! My heart goes out to u
2006-10-03 21:51:03 · answer #9 · answered by cstinkerbell6969 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might not like the idea you being on my space from the get go, and now he is just seeking revenge. Make you know how he feelings chatting with your school friends. Either both of your close my space accounts for your family sake or talked it out. Find out what is the real reason for him doing this.
2006-10-03 21:46:01 · answer #10 · answered by Jax4all 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋