If Your Husband Absolutely....?

Question

Refused to get a vasectomy but you're sure you didn't want anymore children....would you take that to mean that he wasn't secure in your relationship or that he was planning on cheating on you? After all the purpose of a vasectomy is to prevent future childbirth incidents right? If you don't plan on having anymore kiddos then why would he refuse to get it done? Wouldn't that seem suspicious to you like he might be planning on becoming involved with another woman? After all, if you're not planning on having kiddos, then who else would he be getting pregnant. I know the whole "feel like being a man" thing is an issue but if he knows you love him and look at him as a man then who else does he need to feel validated by? This is not my situation but i've always wondered why some men refuse to get a vasectomy. I know their are a ton of other issues that could be at play here, and i'm just looking at things from a simple viewpoint.

Well, I guess no, him wanting to cheat would not be a factor because as one of you pointed out, the fact that he couldn't get another woman pregnant would be a great asset in cheating. I guess i'm more wondering if maybe it would seem like he didn't think your relationship would last, and he's "saving himself" in case his next wife would like kids.... Yeah I know its a far fetched assumption. Sorry

Answer 1

Probably has something to do with him feeling like 'less of man' talk to him about his reasons

Answer 2

I think some other people before me have given the most likely answer: fear of surgery. I had a vasectomy after our second baby was born, and I don't regret it, but the procedure did make me nervous. Here's another reason, though, that I haven't seen anyone mention: homophobia. There was a pamphlet I had to read beforehand that instructed me to shave down there. I followed the instructions, of course, because that's the kind of guy I am, lol. When I got into the room for the procedure, a male nursing assistant prepped me for the male doctor. When he examined my area, he said appreciatively, "Nice job shaving." Needless to say, I hope, this made me a bit uncomfortable, to have a man admire my hairless sex organs! Then, of course, the male doctor had to do quite a bit of touching and feeling around as part of the process, which also was not enjoyable. To top it off, my wife, who is a nurse, asked to be present, and I could swear the doctor was flirting with her. She said something complimentary about something he had done (I wasn't watching!), and he said, "What you're seeing there is the skill of the surgeon," in a kind of bragging tone. Yeah, it was a tad creepy, lol. I know that women go through a lot more in childbirth, but we men aren't used to that stuff! Still, for me, it was worth it to take on that bit of discomfort to save my wife from having to go through a procedure that is even more intrusive and potentially risky. Still, I hope you won't be too hard on your husband for being apprehensive.

Answer 3

Some men are big babies when it comes to their "jewels".

There is now a no scalpel vasectomy in which a small hole is poked (no cutting) and the vas are cut and tied through it.

My husband had it 8 years ago and no problem. He was great in a few days. No pain, but doc told him to take it easy.

He's just scared or selfish.

And for those who would try to make you feel guilty for not getting your tubes tied, there is a big difference between a vasectomy, which is a simple procedure, and having your tubes tied, where you have to be under anesthesia, and have gas fill your abdomen and have surgery INSIDE of your body cavity. If you've had babies then he should be willing to help with the birth control.

Answer 4

If you think about it, refusing to get the vasectomy so he can become involved with another women doesn't make sense. If that were his plan, don't you think he would get the operation done so there is no chance of getting ANY woman pregnant?

Chances are he doesn't want to get it done because of some ego trip. He may think it will make him less of a man or he might think it will cause ED.

Answer 5

I think some of it is, that men are babies when it comes to pain. They cry like babies when they have a cold, imagine how they would be to have (even minor) surgery on their best friend? My husband did it willingly, but he whined about the pain for a while. The incision is literally 1/4 of an inch long. It took about 15 minutes in the doctors office and then we went home. That was it. Also, for whatever reason, some men thing the testicles are removed, they're not. They just snip the tube that carried the sperm to the shaft. You still have normal ejaculate (they're just blank) and he looks absolutely the same as before.

Answer 6

Well many issues might need to be considered here!!!!
He might just be afraid to go under the knife!!!!
He might also be reluctant to go ahead as this procedure is permanent (although i heard it can sometimes be reversed)... It's one thing not to plan on anymore kids and another to know you can't possibly have more.
And no, I don't think he is planning on a divorce, or looking for another woman to have more kids with, but who knows what the future has in store for us ?
Vasectomy is quite drastic, so many other contraceptive options are available...

Answer 7

Did you offer to have your tubes tied? Why not? Is it because you are going to cheat on your husband? Or go get pregnant by someone else?

He probably just doesn't want to go under and get cut open. Or maybe he thinks it's unnatural or maybe the idea of something so permanent is scary to him. You say your done having kids and maybe he does too but maybe there is a part of him that isn't. Or again, maybe he's just a wienie and scared that he cant handle the pain.

I think the chances that he is planning on running away and getting someone else preggo is unlikely.

Answer 8

well, there are different issues here. it may make him feel less of a man but my husband wouldn't get it done first at all either. he may not be planning to have another relationship in all actually it would be easier for him to cheat with one done because he wouldn't have to worry about getting a woman pregnant although STD are still an issue a lot of guys don't think like that. maybe pain of it or the thought of getting his 'manhood' cut isn't appealing but if you are sure you don't want anymore children maybe you should think about a semi permanent or permanent solution for yourself. i know it kinda sucks that you would have to do it but it would insure no more kids.

Answer 9

Why dont you make it were you get an operation so you cant have children. Besides if he does get
a vasectomy then he can sleep around with girls and not worry about getting them pregnant. The reason he doesnt want to get one is probally because he wont fell like a man. You get the operation so you dont have to hear him and you wont get no more children. He might evn be a wimp and be scared of the knife.

Answer 10

No, it means he doesn't want his manhood severed. If it's such a big deal why don't you get your tubes tied? Why does he have to get snipped? He's gonna go from being able to procreate to shooting blanks, that is so emasculating. Then, he'll be driven to cheat, cause he doesn't have to worry about getting anyone pregnant. I say compromise, he doesn't want to be snipped, so don't force him cause that's a good way to drive a man away. If you don't want your tubes tied, then use condoms, or natural family planning, just do it when you're not ovulating, go on BC. Find a medium where you both can be happy. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 11

Coming (no pun intended) from a married mans perspective with two teen kids and facing the same question, I am actually uncomfortable with the thought of a needle and scalpel in that region. I still take care of the birth control so my wife does'nt need the pill. I would'nt cheat ever.