My husband of 5 yrs. is going out of his way to get in touch with a "friend' from High school (7yrs ago) she denied his friend request so he emailed her, I am extremely upset because not only did he not tell me, but he doesnt see anything wrong with it.....we have an abnormally "perfect" relationship and this is so out of the norm, which is another reason why i'm so surprised, am i in the wrong for being upset....or do i have a right? We havent talked for all day, should he come to me? I tried explaining my side, but he still doesnt see anything wrong with it..........HELP PLEASE!!!
2006-10-03 13:41:10 · 22 answers · asked by *S* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should add, on his defense, I also have a myspace, with friends from high school.....HOWEVER......he has met these 2 guys, and one was even invited to our wedding! I have never met nor heard of this woman hes trying to get in touch with. My point is ................if they were such good "friends" in high school, why have they not kept in touch for the past 6 years that i've known him?
2006-10-03 13:46:43 · update #1
I should add that she did respond and was very excited to hear from him......I dont know why she denied him to begin with..........Also he told me and everybody else, and his family has told me that I was his first girlfriend, so her being an ex wasnt a thought in my mind, i did talk to him, and asked him if he was bored or regreted marrying his first girlfriend, and he once again, said he didnt mean anything by it, he loves me, doesnt regret anything....blah, blah, blah, yet he had all day to respond to her email, and since she emailed him she also sent him a friend request.......which he has yet to deny or approve.
2006-10-03 13:53:50 · update #2
It's not about whether you're right or wrong. You're married and he's doing something that is not ok with you. So, of course you have a right to be upset. At the very least he should respect your feelings and be willing to communicate with you to resolve this.
2006-10-03 13:45:55 · answer #1 · answered by who-wants-to-know 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, he has the right to talk to his friends/email them. How is that being too friendly on myspace? He's your husband and if, as you say, you have an abnormally perfect relationship, why are you so worried about him talking a lady who he was in high school with? Maybe he just wishes to connect back to his life back then. There's nothing wrong and I'm sure, that if you guys have a healthy relationship, there is nothing new on the road to come...and most probably, a rejoined high school friend isn't going to ruin your relationship with your husband. Come on...go back to your husband and give him a hug! Maybe it hurts him that you think he was going the wrong way and about to do something he wouldn't ever do with another lady. I'm sure you'll be fine. Remember that a healthy relationship is almost always contained of space/freedom and trust!
p.s. She may have denied his request because she doesn't remember him or something and if she doesn't seem interested in talking to him, yet, he emailed her...maybe it means that he didn't get the point that she doesn't want to talk..maybe he thought she didn't remember so he decided to email her to get her to remember! Don't worry!!!
2006-10-03 13:45:51 · answer #2 · answered by Lina 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
On the surface, his actions are questionable. If the person denied his request, maybe there was unresolved tension from the high school days. Maybe he hasn't gotten over a lost love or a bad breakup and he wants resolution. If that IS the case, you need to help him with that and not worsten the situation with accusing and things of that sort. Talk to him about it. If you are married, that line of communication needs to stay open, i'm sure you know this. Just be the "man", since apparently he doesn't want to be, and GO talk to him. Confront him, but not in a threatening way. Remember, you just want information to make your decision, not the MAKE the decision through your words or actions.
I am sure it is nothing, but whatever it is, it is on his side of the fence. Obviously the person on myspace didn't even want to talk to him. HE is the one pursuing this. So, say your piece to him and let him sleep on the couch and think it over. God bless and Good Luck!
2006-10-03 13:47:10 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Help 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you've made your feelings known to him about it. Know and take comfort in that sooner or later, the truth will come out. If you discover that he's after someone else in a romantic manner.....well then you're better off without him! BUT, right now you don't know that. What is his point in getting in touch with her? Does she live closeby or far away? Is there a history between them? It could be innocent. Pipe down for now....like I said eventually if he's a creep it will manifest itself. Until then, don't make it an affair. It is what it is for now. An email.
2006-10-03 13:49:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U have every right to be upset. U said u have a "perfect" relationship? Wow, is he so bored of your perfect relationship that he's going out of his way to create problems? I suggest u let him know how u feel about this matter without getting on his defensive. Of course he's going to think nothing's wrong. To him, as long as it's just chatting, it's not cheating but he has to realize that whatever he's doing, it's very inappropritate, especially since u don't approve of it.
2006-10-03 13:44:24 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have a right to be upset; if it was so innocent, you're thinking, why wouldn't he tell me? Well, guys work in mysterious ways. He might be feeling a little stifled - my friend, who was in a also so-called perfect relationship, had the same situation - where she felt stifled. Like nothing wrong with the relationship, but it was so perfect it felt choking? so that's the bad side.
However, he could also just be nostalgic. I have friends who I haven't talked to for years, then felt the urge to just dredge them up. Especially guy friends (well... I am mainly friends with men, but yeah)... and my friends, boyfriend etc. would be pissed off, like "what are you doing with them??" But all I honestly wanted was to reconnect with someone I used to be friends with.
Hope I helped, best luck...
2006-10-03 13:55:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm there too. No, I'm like your husband. I have been trying to locate a girl that was my first love. For me....., to her I was a ghost. I don't want to see her. I am just curious as to what has happened in her life. Mainly to re affirm that yes I did make the best choice. Unfortunately I think aliens abducted her because she is no where to be found lol. If it bothers you so much, do like I said to my wife. Sit right there next to me on the computer and watch. I welcome it, she's a better speller! Maybe your sweety will too.
2006-10-03 13:52:19 · answer #7 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well if she rejected him,.. she obviously doesn't want anything to do with him... it sounds kind of stalkerish.. She might be an ex-girlfriend from the past. I think your not wrong at all for being upset. But I think you have nothing to worry about because I don't think she wants anything to do with him. But you should worry about him possibly doing something in the future
2006-10-03 13:45:49 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is just an old friend , why weren't you included? I am pretty cool with my hubby. I am pretty open and not the jealous type. But I would be concerned if he suddenly shut me out of this reunion with his old friend. You are not in the wrong at all for being upset.
2006-10-03 13:46:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she denied his friend request and he is pursuing this yes you have every right to be upset. You need to go on my space and set you a profile up and then make it a point to browse thru men your age
2006-10-03 13:43:10 · answer #10 · answered by confusedpatricia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋