any suggestions on no sex drive....?

Question

I am 29 years old with 2 daughters(7&4)My fiance and I are getting married 5/12/07.Heres the problem-I have absolutley NO desire to have sex anymore.He drives truck over the road so he is gone all week-I know he would like "some"we he comes home so I find myself just doing it.Love my fiance with all my heart and very attracted to him just can't seem to get in the mood anymore.Any younger women with these problems?If so, how does your spouse deal with it.Serious responses please.

We have been together for 4 years now-for the past year I just don't have the desire.So please don't say for me to call off my wedding or anything in that sort.Thank you

Answer 1

You're right, do not call off the wedding. I have a problem with low sex drive as well. I have had sex with other men before I met my husband and he was a virgin when we started dating, so I'm the only person he's been with. He watches a ton of porn and applies it to us, which I expain to him that it is a huge turn off because I feel sex is intimate and sensual. He also assumed that just because he was hard, that all that was required was to strip down and get started. I had to explain to him that I need a thrill, like making out with the blinds open where there's a possibility that the neighbors might see us kissing, then move it to the bedroom of course, so that I can get wet so it doesn't make me sore or raw. Or just sensual touching of my body but not my boobs or nether regions for the tease effect. He tells me that it takes to long and then he's soft, so I tell him "then I guess you're not getting any!" There's just a good possibility that there's no more effort put into it. Maybe you need a kick start. Sometimes I just hug my husband and then bite his chest through his shirt and I start getting horny. It may also be if you're on birth control, because BC has lowered my sex drive alot. My hubby has found that since I can't get off BC until we're ready for a child, that forepay is very good cause it goes in easier, like I told him; I stay wet instead of drying out, like I told him; and it doesn't iritate his nether region, like I told him. I Made up a game one day, I took 12 strips of paper, 6 for him, 6 for me, and said to write down some sexual fantacies that we'd like to play out (within reasonablility), then folded the papers up and picked out one from each pile and fulfilled it. Like, me dressing up in a sporty cheerleader like skirt and just a bra, wearing tennis shoes, but I had to keep the shoes on. Or I wear some risque bra getup with 5 inch heals that also are required to stay on. I prefer role playing, like my hubby stay in his ARMY uniform when he comes home from work and I'll be one of his guys, and he orders me around, like put the hadcuffs on and shut up, then yell, then shut up, Or I'm the Officer in the ARMY and he's the enlisted and I order him around, or he's married and I'm some woman he's met and wants to fool around with, Just fun stuff. It's helped me a lot and it keeps things exciting. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 2

It could be a few things medically so best to get them checked out first. You have said that you love him and are very attracted to him so its not that. Could it be stress? maybe you are stressed out with him gone and the wedding plans? Over tired maybe? All of these things can and do raise havoc with ones sex drive both male and female.Maybe you both just need to get away together for some "couple time". Is there someone that could watch the kids for a weekend when he is home?
I am sure you will find the answer....just don't add extra stress to your self over this as it could make it worse.
Best of luck...and hang in there *S*

Answer 3

try taking some time to get reacquainted when he comes home before you just jump in the sack. Maybe you're resentful of him being away so much and you're alone with the kids (lots of work). Maybe you can't get the desire for him because you're emotionally worn out or you have lost the "BOND". I would say spend time talking on the phone to one another and make it a point to still make yourself feel sexy....anticipate his arrival, take a candle-lit bubble bath, have some champagne, listen to some sexy music! Sleep in something silky and sexy, use scented lotions and body creams! Write some steamy ideas/poems. Rent a sexy movie (not porn). It's important to take care of yourself so that you still feel like a sexy woman - not just a single mommy with no husband at home most of the time! That way you aren't just forcing yourself to be sexy when he's home....SEXY is a STATE OF MIND! If that doesn't work, try some topical testosterone cream or have your hormone panel done to make sure there isn't anything medically wrong.

Answer 4

u must be my g/f's daughter cuz she feels the same way. i drive a truck and when i get home my 52 yr old g/f is the exactly the same way. when we first met she was a close to a porn star as i have ever had, now just just does it for me and says that she does it as part of her job description/and what i require. she was hot in the beginning then now says if i love her i should be satisified with this and truth be know that statement hurts. if he is sexuall and u are not it WILL not work, get out before u hurt him and mess up his mind for all women who will come after u

Answer 5

Most woman go though that ,what i suggest is think back to a time when you had a sex drive and what kicked it off ! Sometimes it won't hurt to try new things ,and as crazy as it sounds think of things that do turn you on while your having sex. if you have toys let your man use them on you , bring foods in the bed room sometimes changes the mood , strawberries ,chocolate syrup,ext. oh and I'm an older woman 35 years . i have been though it !

Answer 6

It could be because you feel so exhausted all the time that your body is just not desiring that kind of attention. (kids will do that!)Try some 'Mommy' time. Spoil yourself. Go tanning, shopping with friends or just have a night alone with peace and quiet. If that doesn't bring your drive back, it will sure be fun anyhow! Good Luck!

Answer 7

check with your doctor to make sure there is nothing medically wrong...if not, it could be since you have kids you are just physically and mentally exhausted....i have been married for 18 years and went through the same thing you are describing...i went through about 10 years with little to no sex drive....now with the kids older and I have more time to relax and not being just a mom I have found the sex drive it back and better than ever.

Answer 8

I have been in the same exact situation except for having childeren. There may be some underlining issues. It would be best to seek counseling. Maybe try spicing it up and experiment with different positions,four play,or having one of those parties were they sell toys and etc.

Answer 9

Get a boyfriend. Not someone to fall in love with, since you have that already. Just someone to bang on the side. Preferably someone in his early 20s.

You will be surprised at how quickly your sex drive goes back to normal. Sex with your fiance will become magical.

Answer 10

You might want to try a supplement called Dong Quai, it's a for women's health and it helps alot, I had the same issues. There is also a version of Viagra for women now, check with your doctor.