Ok so I have been married almost 4 years now Itll be 4 years on Dec.4th. Well the past month my husband and I havent got along. Its not me either its him he has been treating me so bad . We have a 19 month old daughter. I mean he isnt a bad guy by no means. Well atleast he wasnt untill recently. But he has been so mean to me. He is trying to controll where I go, My friends, He want let me spend money if I do he curses me. We are not tight on money by no means. Its almost as if he care more about money than me. And by the way I work 34 hours a week keep house and take care of my daughter. He doesnt lift a finger to clean house. He says since I dont make as much money as him then I have to do it all. All of this stuff has just started with him. Please anyone gove me some advice Im so upset today has been the worst.
2006-10-03 13:12:21 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ive asked him why is he treating me like this and he says like what? He claims he's not treating me bad he is just treating me like I deserve. Im so upset I never thought Id have to leave him. He was always so nice and considerate to me before. I got to go do what I want Buy whatever I wanted, I had no problems. I love him so much but I only love the old him. Its so hard to deal with this but I think its better to get out of this stressfull life and my daughter dont deserve to see that kind of behavior and think its ok. I think itll be best if I leave him. Its just hard because I do still love him with all my heart!
2006-10-03 13:23:59 · update #1
for a while we were trying to have another baby. But since this is going on I decided to wait. I dont want to end up pregnant and alone. I told him I was leaving and he says if you leave you cant come back. He acts like he dont care if I leave Could that be a front or Could he really meen it?
2006-10-03 13:38:13 · update #2
First of all I am not a child, Secondly the only reason I asked this question online is because I have tried talking to him and it does no good. He doesnt listen I wanted some advice. Not for someone to down me because I am put my problem online. I take good care of my child and I think I am a great wife and mother. Not only do I just clean the house But I do work also. I could understand what you were talking about if I wasnt working I would agree I dont work I should clean house. The problem I have is I do it all I dont complain and its just not good enough for him or something. So If your going to give me some advice dont make fun of me. I didnt put this on here to be critisized!
2006-10-03 14:44:18 · update #3
Hire a private investigator, he may be cheating on you since you have a kid and it may be getting old for him and he probably doesn't feel young anymore. The only reason people change for the bad is because they have a guilty conscience and are trying to hide something. If he's not cheating on you, suggest couseling. If he becomes physically abusive as well as verbally and emotionally abusive and you've tried other things, be sure to document things, take pictures and file a police report. This will help when divorce may be the last resort and it'll help you get as much $ out of the settlement as possible. GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-10-03 13:23:56 · answer #1 · answered by afafae25 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may really mean it.
Then again, he may not.
You've been taken for granted, and for some reason he's taking his frustrations out on you also. Could be he's cheating too. It's not uncommon for men who have guilty consciences to make the woman the bad guy to justify the infidelity. But I have no idea. You have to do what's right for you and by your daughter. If time and distance will accomplish that, then try it. Suggest counseling as well if you decide to leave, or even if you don't. Lay it on the line, and make sure he knows you can't live this way anymore. If he's not willing to make some changes, and make sure you say you are willing to as well, then you should walk. Yes, 4 years is a long time to invest, but better to determine now if it won't work than to have 24 years in and know you've been miserable for 20.
2006-10-03 14:00:40 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If youv'e been married four years and you also have a
nineteen month-old child. You really need to talk to him one-on-one, get your heads together and do what's best for each other and the growing child!
If youv'e been married four years and your just having a problem, your'e doing anything wrong. It could be stress at work, maybe something reminded him where he wanted to be in ten years. You both should find out for the sake of the child.
You have been cleaning house and he has been working for four years. That sounds like an established life style. Cleaning house should pay better than alot of good paying jobs, but it doesn't and unless he forced you to have children, at gun point then I'll bet you had somthing to do with the decision to have a child!
And stop saying he has a problem! If you're married than everything should be shared: the good times as well, as the bad. Find out what the problem or problems are. Being married and with a child, you are "ONE".
There is no "Me", "Mine""You","Your's" but "We" and "OURS." Talk to your husband and say "We have a problem we need to deal with."
Next time you belive you have a problem with your marrige, talk to someone you trust. Airing your problems on the internet is like shouting out your problems on the midway at the State Fair. Sure, you may not even see anyone you or your husband knows, but he might feel better if you talked to someone else!
2006-10-03 14:29:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Two words before you sign the papers which also could be the worst decision ever, I haven't lived on Earth very long but I do give good advice, Just talk with him and it's probaly stress or somthing like that, Couple & Peer Counseling at a local organization. Both get all your feelings out, because I know if I was only 19 Months and I grew up not knowing who my Father was and Mother or somthing like that, I would have a pretty bad start at the World. I hope this helped.
2006-10-03 13:16:29 · answer #4 · answered by tasteomyoolangt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's utter nonsense about if you leave, you can't come back!! So don't go back, just take your daughter and leave.
Make a plan first, BEFORE you go. If you have family or friends you can stay with, do so. If not, find a family shelter you can stay in. Since you have a job, keep it. Hold on tight with both hands. Don't let him come over to your job and cause you to lose it. You can sign up for WIC and food stamps if you need them. There are several resources out there for single parents.
There is no reason you can't do this on your own. You don't need the stress he's putting on you, and you don't want your daughter to be involved with a man like him. Be strong for her now, and you will become stronger for yourself.
2006-10-03 14:27:14 · answer #5 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to marriage, sounds like the honeymoon is over. maybe the baby and you are too much pressure and he is being mean so you leave him first. or maybe the facade is over and this is how he really is. this behavior usually doesn't just start for no reason. he got everything he wanted and now he can be an azz. how convenient. Ive heard this same story from every girl I know that has gotten married. It is sad, if he keeps it up you might have to come to the hard truth that it isn't working for you and make other arrangements, meaning divorce. Good luck, and please don't put up with this **** for years, you will only be unhappy and who wants to go through life everyday like that. Demand respect or get out.
2006-10-03 13:30:20 · answer #6 · answered by l'il mama 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There can be a lot of reasons. He could be seeing someone, regretting the marriage. Or he thinks now that he HAS you that you are not going anywhere. You need to sit him down and tell him how you feel, what changes need to made and be prepared to go through with leaving if he doesn't respond. You are the mother of his child and his wife and you deserve respect. If you put up with it, it will send the message to him that its ok. Let me know how it goes, and good luck.
2006-10-03 13:19:42 · answer #7 · answered by T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has anything happened lately like a job change, death etc that may have influenced his current behavior? Does he have new male friends that treat their wives this way? Also has this behavior always been there and you are just now feeling its impact? You can try to have a discussion with him about how you are feeling. Couples therapy may work too! Good Luck!
2006-10-03 13:18:38 · answer #8 · answered by drtcc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, since you have been married for so long and happy, it would be foolish to divorce so soon. Seek out any other options available to you first. Marriage counselling, church, a nice, quiet dinner and a long talk... Make him remember how he used to be! Bring the 'Before and After' scenario up, see how that goes. Remember, there are two sides to every coin. Find out what his side looks like.
2006-10-03 13:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by pilot4u72 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like an ok guy to me. I'd love to have a wife who worked any number of hours a week and then did some housework. Because you have a small child, I'd suggest you try to work it out. But if you didn't I'd tell you to give him hell back. It can't get any better on its own. only worse.
2006-10-03 13:15:14 · answer #10 · answered by QuickQuestion 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋