My Stepdaughter gets in trouble with the law,kicked out of school, causes problems with her dad and i HELP?

Question

MY STEPDAUGHTER HAS A BAD ATTITUDE TOWARDS PEOPLE,RULES DON'T APPLY TO HER,GETS IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW,KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL ON A REGULAR BASIS, ACTS LIKE SHE IS OF AGE,CAUSES PROBLEMS WITH ME AND HER DAD TO BREAK US UP PROBLEMS THAT A CHILD OF HER AGE SHOULDNT BE DOING.WHEN YOU TALK TO HER SHE ANSWERS WITH AN ATTITUDE YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO BE MAD AT HER,IT SEEMS LIKE SHE IS MAD AT THE WORLD,SHE HAD A TERRIBLE UPBRINGING BUT I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR HER LIKE MY OWN NOTHING HELPS I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO I JUST TRY TO AVOID THE SITUATION ALTOGETHER PLEASE HELP!

Answer 1

it sounds like she is on drugs and rebelling about everything. Get her into treatment for her problems.

Answer 2

You must be the stepmom. I don't envy you your situation. I don't know how long you have been with her dad, where her biological mom is, etc. However, divorce and separation issues is what it sounds like. She is angry and rebelling for a reason. Perhaps the two of you need some "girl" time. Take her somewhere where it is just the two of you. The first time, just make it fun. Leave the "bad" situation at home. She may resist, but be as stubborn as she is. Make this kind of thing a habit. After the second or third time, starting SLOWLY approaching the subject of what is going on with her. She may be closed mouthed about it, but at least you will be letting her know that you care and that you are there for her when she needs you. Also, don't "avoid" the situation. When she has an attitude with you, act like it has no affect on you. She knows that her belligerence has an affect on you and will continue until you show her otherwise. I would also let her know that if she wants to be a hateful person, she is on the right track. No one wants to be hateful and you just might give her something to think about. You could also try recording her when she goes on one of her tangents. Play it back to her when she is calm. She will get a reality check from this. You may also want to consider counseling. I have the feeling, though, that she will fight you tooth and nail over that. She doesn't see that she has a problem and she may not realize what she is doing to your family. With a lot of patience and some subtle hints, you may wake her up before she self-destructs. I wish you all of the luck in the world.

Answer 3

A lot of times, kids with bad attitudes are not happy kids. I would recommend getting her into counseling, or to see a psychotherapist. She obviously has some issues she needs to work out.
It could also be that she is jealous of you. A lot of times when a single parent is dating someone, the child doesn't know how to respond, because they will sometimes take it as "losing" their parent to someone else, and they will view you as competition. Even though that is never the case, it's what happens. The best way to combat this is to let the child know it is included. Go out as a family every third saturday of the month, or something like that. Have a set day you will all go out, and do something fun together, like going to the zoo, the fair, etc. By doing this, the child will feel more included, and not so lost and isolated.
As for the acting out part of it, the counseling should help. What needs to be done is finding the root of the issue, and getting rid of it.
Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

Hello. I am a Polarity therapist. It sounds like your step-daughter holds some deep anger, or other very strong emotion and this is her only way of expressing it. You say she had a terrible upbringing, so obviously there are issues from then, or earlier, that need to be healed. Continued unchecked, it is more then likely to get worse. Sorry. The good news is that there are many, many methods of healing that are very effective for these type of issues, from traditional therapy to energetic holistic healing. Look for what literally "feels" right to you, and her Dad and go with that. Because of the venue here we are using, I won't put up my web-site, but if do you a search, you can find very reputable healers that could be of great assistance to this young person. I wish you, and her, well in this. M.

Answer 5

Counseling and lots of it. This is more than you or her dad can handle alone. This is a kid headed down a path to nowhere but self destruction. If you love her, then get her the help she needs whether she thinks she needs it or not. If she's a minor, you can make her go.
Bad upbringing is just an excuse - she's still responsible for her own actions and can make decisions on whether to let that upbringing pull her down or not.
Good luck to your and your husband ! Make sure that her behavior does not interfere with your relationship. Keep your lines of communication open and keep your love strong.

Answer 6

Your question really caught my attention because when I was ages 15-19 I got into trouble with the law numerous times, took money, treated my mother like sh*t, didn't give a damn about anything anybody...trust me, I was a horrible daughter and my mother even tried to give me to a foster home. I know this will be tough for you to hear but all the therapy and medication I was put through was not what helped me get my act together. The only thing that helped me was time. I know exactly how your step daughter feels...I went through it. Give her time, make sure she knows that you love her, and she will grow out of it. Good luck.

Answer 7

Wow, looks like something I see on a Dr. Phil's show. Ask her if she would write down everything that is bothering her and give it to you. You, of course, need to remind calm at all times since you know your stepdaughter's attitude. Ask her if she would sit down with you so you guys could bond. Communication is the key. Good luck!

Answer 8

Knowing how old she is and what her relationship is with her mother might help people to answer this. Mom, or step dad (if there is one) could be playing a role in this......

That being said have you talked with your husband about some individual and maybe family counseling? Maybe there is something going on that she is not telling you about.

Answer 9

I'm sorry that you have to experience all this.. Probably she is like this because most stepdaugther can't accept the fact that her father got married or simply she is jealous she have to share her dad's attention with you now... Well, there's nothin you can do except make her accept that you are her stepmom and she have to accept it... You ahve to give her time to realize because she simply are not now.. And try to talk to your husband to try solve his daugther's problem together.. She probably needs to go to a discipline school...

Answer 10

send her to her mom